faith, hope and love ♥

sun, sand, sea

2012-01-28T22:47:00.001+08:00

so, this chinese new year, the family had the reunion dinner here in PJ and we didn't go back to Ipoh. not much visiting was done. we were having a quiet chinese new year in quiet PJ.

on the third day of chinese new year, i went on a trip to cherating, pahang with li foong and kay-lynn, li foong's mom and her younger brother, and an extended family of theirs. altogether 10 of us :)

we spent three days and two nights in Legend Resort and did tons of swimming in the resort pool, in the sea, walks on the beach, eating eating eating, and taking pictures for keepsake.

my fellow travelers :)

all the girls :)

li foong and wei wei, kay lynn and tian tian, me and jing yue.

where's tian tian?

wei wei :)

jing yue saving hermit crabs.

we got really bad sunburns :\

this was the process of it.

cause we didn't bother putting ANY sunscreen at all.

what were we thinking?!

on the beach

in the pool

bad sunburns :( how we still smile is a question.

we were lobster red and our skins were (and still is) really painful :(

still, this was fun.

i had a really really good time!

lots of laughs, enough rest, lots of swimming (i love water!)

it was nice too remembering back on our last cherating trip back in 2007 :)

five years ago. :')

how we've all grown up.

thanks, girls :)

Cherating 2012 : 25 Jan - 27 Jan

hooray!

2012-01-21T01:44:00.001+08:00

sat for my last paper for this semester today :) english proficiency.

i just learned the meaning of 'prolific' which is highly productive, characterized by abundant production, fruitful, etc. i think i wrote it to be mean "creative". oh well. too bad.

so yes, praise God i am free from exams and studies for a while (just a while, three short weeks kind of while). and indeed He has been faithful and His goodness abounding. i super duper can't wait for chinese new year, cherating trip with li foong, maybe a trip up to sitiawan pangkor, and meet ups and catch ups with friends. why can't it always be like this? :(

so anyway, have a good holiday! toodles!

exam hall picture - after our last paper today :D
that's brandon, my assignment partner for most of this semester
and he sits beside me in proficiency class.
clown.

Thank you, God, for everything.

take your mind off things

2012-01-18T19:32:00.001+08:00

so, i just got some news that's gotten me pretty nervous. it's got to do with a ton of extra responsibilities which i would be taking up next year. as if the previous semester didn't already have me in tears and fatigue, the coming semester i foresee will be a pretty tough road to walk.

nevertheless, i remind myself of the hope i have in God. the strength and joy and wisdom i know i will need is found in Him. and though i am pretty scared, okay, terrified of what is to come, i take a deep breath and know i will live through it.

to get my mind off all that, i went on a little outing with Susan, Atie and Brandon yesterday to Sunway Pyramid. it was Susan's birthday and we went to catch a locally produced film - Relationship Status.

pretty good for a local made film.
though the morals in it are pretty rotten - cheating spouses, friends with benefits, etc.

however, i must say, the movie does make you think about social networking and all its effects on relationships. i recall back on all the times when i'd go check out the profiles of some boy i fancied and check out his pictures and all that. i remember how some friends put on vague statuses that they expected certain significant people or person to interpret or the times when someone read too much into a vague status which turned out to be nothing close to what was intended. i think social networking in a way has become a mask in one way or another. the way we mask our emotions, the way we mask our situations, we mask who we really are. when we want to tell the world something but we don't want the world to know everything, we can be unclear, vague, masked. (well maybe some people, not everyone. shall not generalise).

i like the break i'm getting from having turned off my facebook account for the time being. :) sad to say, i need facebook to survive in uni if not i'll be a katak di bawah tempurung. and my responsibilities require me to be in touch :\

so apart from a movie and good company, i baked choc chip cookies :) and did a bit of experimenting too with nutella (which turned out awesome :P chehwah..)

process and products :)
though the nutella cookies became square biscuits :\ haha.

so, that filled our house with the sweet smell of baking cookies and took my mind of what is to come for a bit. but i think what really helped me come to terms with it was a friend to talk to. encouragement, support and comfort. and a lot of reminders of a God who is bigger than my situations. thank God for friends!

and i'm reminded of item three on my advice to my future self - don't push people away, relationships are important! (and checking out someone's facebook account isn't really "keeping in touch" lah).

I thank God for YOU! :)

state of calm

2012-01-14T02:20:00.001+08:00

this week was joanne’s birthday she turns twenty-one! sue ann and i took her out for lunch after one of her tough papers and after my “kinda” last paper and a surprise re-test but it was a good catch up time with the two

birthday girl is the tiny one at the back seat love you, joanne!

i thank God very much for the both of you in my life!

it was also phi nn’s birthday that same day and she came over to our room to share some cake. i’ve really enjoyed her friendship and company as i got to know her a bit more through our orientation helper days.

will try to spend more time with you!

this week, i sat for four papers. one more paper to go (next friday) and then i’ll be officially done with semester one of my second year. *woohoo!*

a friend asked me if i’m still emo and i answered “no, cause circumstances are favourable at the moment.” i call it the “state of calm”. but i got to learn to find my joy in God which means joy in spite of whatever circumstances i may be in, good or bad or super bad. joy, even when life is like a ship-sinking storm!

yeah, i’m not quite there yet. and so this year, i want to find my joy in God, and that the joy of my salvation be restored unto me. there’s this whole thing about living for eternity through Christ who saves us. and i am able to have joy because of this eternity i believe and live for.

apart from that, sue ann and i had a flashback moment where we watched a bunch of videos we made to our future selves in two-thousand-twelve. we had a lot of hopes for our future selves i must say and advices too (as if we had it all figure back then righhht..)

These were my five advices to WaiYan of 2012

Be obedient to God. Listen and obey. Don’t rush and don’t follow your own desires because God knows best.
Be spontaneous and don’t always be so uptight and rigid and square because sometimes God wants you to be flexible and creative. And God is pretty fun…at times.
Don’t neglect people around you. You’re quite bad at that, you tend to push people away when you’re busy. Cause at the end of the day, it’s about the relationships you make and the friends that are important and how you impact their lives and how they bless and encourage and comfort you when you…yeah, don’t neglect the people around you lah.
Exercise ah! And don’t eat so much junkfood and so much biscuits. Don’t become more gemuk than you already are (HAHA!)
If there is a boy in your life, always put God before that boy and (long pause) you will realise that all your ideals for a boy, sometimes you’ll have to throw a few out of the window. Hopefully, you’ll be wise when it comes to it. Just don’t let your emotions take over you like a rollercoaster or something like *pshh*. God first!
(i would like to edit the final advice just a bit. May God be your everything.)

those were pretty good advices and still very relevant and practical for my life.

we had a ton of hopes! truckloads of them! a few we’ve taken grasp of, a few still trying to find. But all in all, i think we’re growing and going in the right direction *hopefully.

i hope you always find your joy and life in God, waiyan.

one year ago – 2011

umbrellas

2012-01-04T03:22:00.001+08:00

This is what I saw as we were worshiping and praying in the presence of God during our youth camp. Umbrellas up and the rain falling. The message was that it's time to put away those umbrellas of ours. For too long we've stood under them, dry and comfortable. God's Spirit is like rain and it's falling down on us. But we're just too comfortable under these umbrellas of ours, many of us don't want to get wet, don't want things to get messy, inconvenient. Sometimes it's fear, we don't want to get out under the rain cause we're afraid of the effects of the rain. We don't understand that for the Spirit to wash over us, we got to get out from under our umbrellas, our safe zones.

So, close your umbrellas and put them away! Go under the rain. Allow His Spirit to set you free, wash away your iniquity, quench your thirst. Wash over you, refresh! Enjoy the rain, enjoy His presence.

Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink. Whoever believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." By this He meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were later to receive.
John 7:37-39

Holy Spirit, rain down.

helloo, 2012 :)

2012-01-01T23:45:00.000+08:00

2011 was a meaningful year.

It started out like how most of my new years start - with much hope and excitement. But to be honest, at certain points along the way and towards the end of the year I felt pretty broken. Always knew God was there, but to believe it at times, I admit, it was hard.

Yet in all my doubt and struggles, God was faithful through it all. God is faithful.

This year, I did a quite a bit of travelling; Kuching, Bali (my second stamp in my passport :P), Pulau Pangkor, and a few places here and there. I love travelling :D

This year, I got a bit more involved in UM; served in and through PKVUM, became an orientation helper (Pembantu Mahasiswa), joined the college committee, played a bit of netball, decided to stay in college, and in the process, build some pretty amazing friendships I will treasure.

This year, I experienced a lot outside my comfort zone; Gerakan PPUM where we went to the sick in the hospital to pray and bless them, SWEEP 2011 (and all the mini SWEEPs and Awesome Plans) exposed me to so much around me which opened my eyes and broke my heart, volunteering at the refugee school where I received more than I could give.

This year, both my grandmas passed away. This year a lot of people lost loved ones. This year a lot of calamities struck and took away a lot of lives. Lives, the only things that are eternal yet so fragile. Here today, gone tomorrow. It reminded me of the value of life - others and mine.

This year, I experienced God's grace at a new level. Through failures and weaknesses, He was my saving grace. He gave me second chances. He restored me, renewed me. Over and over again I am reminded, not by works but by His grace I am saved.

And so, I step into this new year, full of hope in God once again because I know that He was the God who brought me through 2011 and He is the God of my yesterdays, today and tomorrows! He is the true and living God. In Him I can trust. And in Him, I am made new. Thank You, God.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation;

the old has gone, the new has come!

2 Corinthians 5:17

toodles, two-oh-one-one

2011-12-31T16:02:00.001+08:00

Today is the last day of 2011.

Tomorrow is a new day, a new year, a new start.

Just got back from our PPBC Youth Camp :) The theme was "ReNEWed".

Indeed God has been doing a renewing work among us. A very much needed renewing work.

And I thank God for that.

So, time to review and reflect on this year.

And then boldly step into the new year with God.

Thank You, God, for 2011.

christmas is coming!

2011-12-21T03:15:00.001+08:00

enough said.

prioritize

2011-12-12T15:21:00.001+08:00

“Prioritizing is a constant task that, if done well, will keep you from getting overwhelmed. But, if you don’t prioritize using God’s Spirit and His Word as your plumb line, you will lose peace, feel like a failure, and end up doing nothing well. And that is never God’s purpose. Beware of the shoulds other people assign to your life and learn to say no. Remember: Just because you can, doesn’t mean you have to.” –Lisa Ryan

Why didn’t I read this earlier in the semester? Well, it’s not too late.

God, teach me and guide me to prioritize well the things I have to do that my life may glorify You through it all. Even when things are so overwhelming at times and I feel like giving up, help me to know and believe that indeed with You, nothing is impossible. I’m sorry for the things I’ve messed up and I ask for Your grace and mercy to continue to steer me back to Your paths.

We’re now in Week 13! Two more weeks to go!

perfect

2011-12-05T03:13:00.001+08:00

i am not perfect

no matter how hard i try

i cannot be perfect

on my own

i am not perfect

and that is why i need grace,

only then

would grace have meaning

in my weaknesses,

in my imperfections,

His strength is made perfect

this is grace.

and this grace captures me

holds me

and carries me through

what's left...(is not right :P)

2011-12-02T23:52:00.001+08:00

Been meaning to write a post for quite some time now, just couldn't find the time to piece all my bits and pieces of thoughts together. Yes, life is super crazy hectic. How I survive each week is nothing short of a miracle and I have God to thank for that. Week 11 just ended, stepping into Week 12 soon! And then 13...and then 14 and then...HOLIDAYS! CHRISTMAS! YOUTH CAMP! study break :\ and when we come back, exams. You get the idea.

But anyway, a few morning walks in the previous week (due to Micah the car needing a fix up and having lent my bus card to a friend), God has been reminding me and putting a lot of things into perspective for me, He is Sovereign and He is in control. I just have to allow Him to guide and direct my ways. No need for the unnecessary fuss, stress and all that jazz. Peace, God's peace. That is what I'm experiencing and I really can't explain it. It's beyond my understanding, beyond my finite comprehension.

Honestly, I have been doing a lousy job as a steward of my time :( And the consequences are pretty teruk. I deserve some crappy grades this semester and I should be bracing myself for the drop :\ But while there's still this bit of time left, I'm going to commit it to God. It's not much but will do my best with what I have left. Not much, but still enough to be used by God.

I don't want to get disillusioned, I don't want to begin to take this grace from God for granted. I don't want to treat God's commands with contempt. Commands such as to be a steward of my time, to do whatever I do with all my heart as working for the Lord not for men, to honoring Him with my life. I pray the fear of God which is the beginning of wisdom will begin to take hold of my life.

Lord, forgive me for how I've wasted so much of what You gave to me. Forgive me for being like the lazy servant who hid the talent the master gave. Forgive me for treating your grace with contempt. Forgive me when I've let so many people down, for when I disappointed others and You because of my attitude. Forgive me. I don't understand why I've just been so distracted, tired and worn out this whole semester. So, unproductive. :\

5Now this is what the LORD Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. 6You have planted much, but have harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.” (sounds familiar!)

7This is what the LORD Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. 8Go up into the mountains and bring down timber and build the house, so that I may take pleasure in it and be honored,” says the LORD. 9“You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?” declares the LORD Almighty. “Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with his own house. 10Therefore, because of you the heavens have withheld their dew and the earth its crops. 11I called for a drought on the fields and the mountains, on the grain, the new wine, the oil and whatever the ground produces, on men and cattle, and on the labor of your hands.”
Haggai 1:5-11

I ask myself, "What have I been building?" Have I gotten so caught up in doing the things I've been called to do that I forgot the one who called me? Have I lost sight of my purpose here in UM, in TESL, in JTK, in PKVUM? O God, remind me once again of my purpose of being where I am. You said that this season would be one of preparation and equipping. I feel like I'm taking steps backwards, like I'm going nowhere :( God, maybe I don't see it now or maybe I've turned off the original path set for me and am going in another direction. But God, I ask that if it is the case of me not being able to see, that You would help me to trust in You no matter what. Little glimpses of what is to come would be nice :) And if it is the case of me going off on another road apart from Yours, I pray You will direct and guide me back to the right path and cause me to walk steadfastly with You. Lord, whatever time I have left, I offer it up to You and ask that You would teach me what to do. I trust in You.

I found the title pun to be quite amusing. Couldn't help myself from saying "What's left...is not right." Right as in the right and left opposites. But when I typed it out, my heart sank, it really meant to say, what's left is not right. Right as in correct, acceptable, okay :( And my life's not right at this moment. Sigh. But through God's grace and guidance, I'm going to try to steer it back to what's right. Until there's nothing left, I must give it my best to make what's left, right.

Learning to Breathe

2011-11-11T11:11:00.000+08:00

hello goodmorning,
how you do?
what makes your rising sun so new?

This is the way that I say I need you

This is the way that I say I love you

This is the way that I say I'm yours
This is the way
This is the waaaayyyy...

11.11 AM on the 11.11.11

have a nice day!

Week 9

2011-11-10T18:04:00.000+08:00

It's Thursday already :| Eeps! And I've still got much to finish up. I have no idea why I'm so unproductive :( It's like nothing seems to be moving. It's like I'm just moving in circles and time keeps running and pretty soon it'll be Week 9 where I've got presentations and datelines to meet. I don't want Week 9 to come.

I'm not even looking at Week 10 :\

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow,

for tomorrow will worry about itself.

Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:34

One day at a time, one day at a time. God, please help me through each day. I'm such a hopeless case on my own :( But with God, life is worth living.

Mid-Sem Break List

2011-11-07T12:25:00.001+08:00

Thank God for this one week break. Have got a mad amount of deadlines to meet immediately after this week. And so, to remind me of the urgency and that though this break is a good rest, it is also a time to catch up and prepare for the tsunami of late nights, coffee and work that is to come. AHHHHHHH!!!

Things that I have to get settled:

Digging deep into the Word of God & Spending more time in Prayer (because this is the best and most important preparation for any circumstance)
~~Educational Psychology Presentation on Gifted Students~~
Moral and Religion Assignment on the religion of Islam
Moral and Religion Assignment on students' take on religion.
~~Writing Assignment - Lesson Plan~~
Writing Assignment on the way writing is taught in schools today.
~~Reading Assignment - Finding a good reading text~~
~~Thinking and Communication Forum on Euthanasia~~
Making a list and keeping it *fingers crossed* (half done :P)

*takes a deep breath*

Trusting God

because by my own strength and abilities,

I am incapable to handle it all.

God, please grant me wisdom and self-discipline to finish up what I have to finish up. Help me to remember to allow you to work in me and through me even while I'm trying to get through my list of things to do. Help me to be a good steward of my time that at the end of this break, I would have invested and used it according to how You would want me to. Above all, may I glorify You in all that I do.

Life Sdn Bhd 7: REFUGEES

2011-10-29T23:51:00.000+08:00

went for this on Friday night with Elaine, Joanne and Timothy.

*the monorail on friday evenings/nights is a bad idea!

met Yew Kong and Charity, Jared, Jai, Elisabeth, Esther and Venn there.

listened to stories from the refugees.

listened to their heart cries and desires.

listened to their struggles, their fears.

listened to their hopes and dreams.

admired their strength, courage and perseverance.

i thought about the refugee kids i taught during the break,

i missed them.

i missed their singing and laughter.

i missed teaching them.

"Refugees are human too. I am human too,"

she said.

have we taken for granted what it is to be human?

and in doing so, have we forgotten how to treat others as human?

are you okay?

2011-10-21T02:55:00.001+08:00

"not okay."

*starts to cry*

haha,

precisely how i want to react to anyone who asks me that question at this moment.

another goodbye

2011-10-18T19:10:00.001+08:00

Last of my grandparents gone home to be with the Lord.

Bye, Poh-Poh.

I remember how you used to wait for us to come back to Ipoh for visits. You'd be waiting at the window and when you saw our car, you'd get excited.

I remember we had to speak loudly to you cause you were deaf and could not hear us. You used to wear a hearing aid but after some time in your old age, you didn't wear it anymore.

I remember how you made your way around, room to room, in little steps, clinging on to door frames and chairs for support. Your fall many years back did that to you.

I remember that before we left, we would all hug you one by one.
And the last time was when we went back to see you after Mah-Mah's funeral, about two months ago.

I hope you're happy in heaven now. And one day, I hope I shall meet you there too.

Chinese New Year 2011

In God, we are comforted. In God we hope.

what are you afraid of?

2011-10-10T22:22:00.002+08:00

I am starting to do a book entitled ‘Praying for Purpose for women’ a birthday gift from Joshua Chin when I was 18 years old. I believe it was quite timely for me to start the book at this time. Life’s been non-stop since university started been very busy and am growing weary, feeling pretty lost and frustrated many times.

And as I type all this out, I’m going to try to be as honest as I can be. I am fully aware that there are a ton of flaws and imperfections in me, to the point it is called “ugly”. But I hear, acknowledging it is the first step to change, painful and humbling steps.

The question today was “What are you afraid of?”

Two things:
1. Failure
2. Disappointing others and God

And that’s simply what I’ve been facing. A lot of things not going my way, things in the “could have been better” state, regret, letting others down, disappointing others and myself. It’s been so frustrating

Makes me question, “Am I a people pleaser kind of person?” I think to a certain extent I am. I’ve always wanted to prove myself for something since I was young having struggled with many “Who am I?” questions at one point. Achievements were something I sub-consciously chased after. Certain events made me realize this, such as when I found myself being quite upset over the so-so results I obtained for STPM. Through many of those times, I found God’s grace and love telling me I need not prove anything to Him, for He loved me for who I am, who He created me to be. Many times, I found myself in His comfort finding my worth and purpose in Him when the circumstances around me told me otherwise. Thank you, God.

At twenty one, I still struggle with myself. I still look at expectations and shudder, yet I still do what I am expected to do till the point where I just do it for the sake of doing it. I’m not sure where this will take me. I think I need to start to take some steps back and look at it all from a distance again and ask, “Why am I doing this?”

I want to be a God pleaser, not a people pleaser. I want my life to be lived for His will and His purposes not the will and expectations of man on me.

God, teach me and grant me Your strength to face my fears and begin to live a life of victory for You.

The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged. – Deuteronomy 31:8

Remind me; it’s not about me, it’s ALL about God.

touch my heart, Lord, speak to me

2011-10-03T00:29:00.000+08:00

If You can use anything, Lord

You can use me

If You can use anything, Lord

You can use me

Take my hands, Lord

And my feet

Touch my heart, Lord

Speak to me

If You can use anything, Lord

You can use me

-Use Me

Here comes Week 4 :\ Convo week, convo dinner, college this and that, assignments, ... I can cry T.T But no, I shall not despair instead I shall place my trust and hope in God! This weekend I learned about JUSTICE, MERCY, GRACE and THANKSGIVING. Got some tips and guidelines on how to live life a little better.

Now, it's all about implementation. Let's see how the coming week goes :)

Open my ears and my heart to listen to what You are saying. Open my eyes to see what You are wanting to show me. Lord, this week, speak to me.

hope

2011-10-01T19:39:00.002+08:00

http://weheartit.com/entry/15224580

the thing that keeps me going.

knowing that it's worth it.

believing it'll make a difference.

My hope is in the Lord.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Romans 12:12

...

on a totally unrelated note,

i want to travel the world :)

go on a trip to somewhere, anywhere.

beauty that refreshes

2011-09-01T21:43:00.004+08:00

we were saying we could photoshop some sheep into this picture and go on to say we went to New Zealand :)

Took a trip with the family (minus Yew Meng, tambah Jack) and went to Janda Baik to visit Kok Onn. The place there is pretty amazing - simple and beautiful :) I like!

Travel bunch :)

Our intended trip was a camping trip (sleeping in tents, start a camp fire and roast marshmallows, swim in the cold river, eat canned food kind of thing). But plans changed and we decided on a little more comfort. But we still did a bit of the intended. :)

Swim in the cold river - checked!
Swimming against the current was pretty fun and entertaining :D

Start a camp fire - checked!
No marshmallows though :\

Instead we used the fire to dry ourselves :P

That night, while Kok Onn and Yew Kong went into the jungles to catch lizards, Jack, Yew Leung and I took the poncho, laid it on the ground and spent a good two hours on our backs looking up at the stars. There were so many many many of them - uncountable!

We believe we found the Big Dipper, Small Dipper and Orion's Belt (and Orion who is very tegap!) but after google-ing about them, I have my doubts :P haha. We tried to find the North Star and assumed we found it. We also saw a shooting star flash past us. Other than that, we munched on tiger biscuits and drank mineral water. There were one or two kelip-kelips in the nearby tree.

The beauty of God's creation is simply amazing. The creation reflects the Creator :) And indeed it echoes in my heart, "Who am I that the Creator is mindful of me?" and with that I am filled with thanks and gratitude that He is mindful of me and He does care for me.

And this beauty refreshes me.
(or maybe it was the cold river water's effect)

When I consider Your heavens,
the work of Your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which You have set in place,
what is man that You are mindful of him,
the son of man that You care for him?

Psalm 8:3-4

Take Time

2011-08-31T03:02:00.003+08:00

Take time to laugh
It is the music of the soul.

Take time to think

It is the source of power.

Take time to play

It is the source of perpetual youth.

Take time to read

It is the fountain of wisdom.

Take time to pray

It is the greatest power on earth.

Take time to love and be loved

It is a God-given privilege.

Take time to be friendly

It is the road to happiness.

Take time to give

It is too short a day to be selfish.

Take time to work

It is the price of success.

-Author unknown-

Found this beautiful poem as I was writing in the FES journal Swee Kit gave me. They've got some pretty interesting writings in there. This was in the section of "What Would You Do If You Were Given A 2nd Chance To Relive Your Campus Life Again?" Reminds me of how my time in uni is limited and I must make the best of every opportunity here in campus. Daddy's in that section too :) His picture so handsome *bangga* hee. :D

Was just reflecting and writing down my four months of holidays and the things I've been through. It's been an amazing journey and experience. Can't believe my holidays are coming to an end :\ Noooooo... Time flies.

Take time and use it wisely. Time is precious.

something about faith

2011-08-30T16:06:00.001+08:00

Just wanted to share something I got when I read Matthew 8 recently.

Matthew 8 is divided into six parts, and in each of these six parts we can learn a little something about our faith in Christ.

Matthew 8

The Man With Leprosy (Matthew 8:1-4) – Will

¹When he came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. ²A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.”
³Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” Immediately he was cured of his leprosy. ⁴Then Jesus said to him, “See that you don’t tell anyone. But go, show yourself to the priest and offer the gift Moses commanded, as a testimony to them.”

The first thing about faith is that it must be in God’s will. The man with leprosy came before Jesus and acknowledged that it was only by Jesus’ will that he would be healed. Likewise, we must not come barging into God’s throne room demanding and asking Him to approve and answer our wills. Instead, we should pray like Jesus prayed, “Yet not my will, but Yours be done.”

And as we pray and read His Word, we begin to realize and find out what God’s will is. Our thoughts and perspectives will slowly change as we continue to seek after His will.

The Faith of the Centurion (Matthew 8:5-13) – Word

⁵When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. ⁶“Lord,” he said, “my servant lies at home paralyzed and in terrible suffering.”
⁷Jesus said to him, “I will go and heal him.”
⁸The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. ⁹For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.”
¹⁰When Jesus heard this, he was astonished and said to those following him, “I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. ¹¹I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their placed at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. ¹²But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”
¹³Then Jesus said to the centurion, “Go! It will be done just as you believed it would.” And his servant was healed at that very hour.

The centurion’s faith was honoured by Jesus because he had faith in the power of the word of Christ and he had faith in the authority of Christ. The Word of God is as alive today as it has been 2000 years ago. God is still the King of kings and the Lord of lords, the one with the highest authority. Let’s begin to build our faiths on the foundation of His Word and believe in the power of His word.

But may we be always mindful of the will of God. We see that it wasn’t just blind faith the centurion had, but he too adhered to the will of Jesus. In verse 7, Jesus says that He will go and heal the centurion’s servant. And in verse 13, His Word comes to past. Indeed, His Word will come to past!

Jesus Heals Many (Matthew 8:14-17) – Works

¹⁴When Jesus came into Peter’s house, he saw Peter’s mother-in-law lying in bed with a fever. ¹⁵He touched her hand and the fever left her, and she got up and began to wait on him.
¹⁶When evening came, many who were demon-possessed were brought to him, and he drove out the spirits with a word and healed all the sick. ¹⁷This was to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet Isaiah: “He took up our infirmities and carried our diseases.”

The thing that really struck me as I read this part was how Jesus did not just stop at teaching and speaking with words, but He went on to fulfil the Words through His life, through His actions. He healed the sick, He did something. ‘Works’ were part of His ministry. He was practical.

These past few months, of being exposed to so many different kinds of needs around me, I am reminded to be practical as well as prayerful about the many needs. We cannot just pray for the poor hungry people that they will be fed and hope food falls from the sky for them. We need to do something. Indeed, faith without works is dead.

The Cost of Following Jesus (Matthew 8:18-22) – Worth It

¹⁸When Jesus saw the crowd around him, he gave orders to cross to the other side of the lake. ¹⁹Then a teacher of the law came to him and said, “Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.”
²⁰Jesus replied, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”
²¹Another disciple said to him, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.”
²²But Jesus said to him, “Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.”

Is God worth it? At certain points in our Christian walk, this question is bound to come up. Is God worth giving up my home? My nine to five job? My securities? My comfort? Is He really worth it? Many times we make it all about ourselves but really this whole life, is for God. What are our lives but just a tiny dot in eternity. And as I slowly discover my faith, I believe God is worth it. He is worth more than I could ever imagine. And as I trust in Him, the risks I take are worth it. Obeying Him is worth it. Faith and following Him at times brings me to circumstances when I can’t have my way. But that’s okay, because I know what He is leading me to is worth it. But this is a question, each person has to answer on their own, according to their own convictions.

Jesus Calms the Storm (Matthew 8:23-27) – Winds, Waves and Worries

²³Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. ²⁴Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. ²⁵The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”
²⁶He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.
²⁷The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!”

Looking back at verse 18, we know that it was Jesus who gave the orders to cross over to the other side of the lake. And as follows, His disciples got into the boat with Him. Suddenly, they were hit by a furious storm which threw them into despair. But with Christ in the vessel, they were saved.

Many times, when God asks us to do something, there may come certain difficulties and struggles, winds and waves. And many times, these winds and waves can get really really overwhelming. But as our faith grows, as we remember God’s faithfulness and power in our lives, may we also always remember and acknowledge that our God is with us, and He is able to rebuke the winds and waves in our lives and calm the storms. Completely calm, perfect peace. Worries will come along the way, Jesus did not promise a smooth journey BUT (thank God for ‘but’s) He has promised to never leave us nor forsake us. And He is far greater than the winds and waves in our lives.

The Healing of Two Demon-possessed Men (Matthew 8:28-34) – Wins

²⁸When he arrived at the other side in the region of the Gadarenes, two demon-possessed men coming from the tombs met him. They were so violent that no one could pass that way. ²⁹“What do you want with us, Son of God?” they shouted. “Have you come here to torture us before the appointed time?”
³⁰Some distance from them a large herd of pigs was feeding. ³¹The demons begged Jesus, “If you drive us out, send us into the herd of pigs.”
³²He said to them, “Go!” So they came out and went into the pigs, and the whole herd rushed down the steep bank and into the lake and died in the water. ³³Those tending the pigs ran off, went into the town and reported all this, including what had happened to the demon-possessed men. ³⁴Then the whole town went out to meet Jesus. And when they saw him, they pleaded with him to leave their region.

The part of this last few verses that struck me was that of verse 29, where the demons knew Jesus had power and authority over them and in God’s time, they were doomed. God always wins. At the end of the day, He is and will be victorious. So, whose side will you choose to stand on? Our faith is not a hopeless airy belief, it is based on truth and based on a God who is victorious, who always wins at the end of the day.

My faith is not all of that, my faith is still very very small. But I pray that as I continue to journey with Christ, my faith in Him will grow.

As of now, I know that this faith, this following Him, is worth it.

favor

2011-08-17T03:33:00.003+08:00

For He says,

"In the time of My favor I heard you,

and in the day of salvation I helped you."

I tell you, now is the time of God's favor and now is the day of salvation.

2 Corinthians 6:2

I asked God for favor,

and favor He granted me.

Thank You, Lord.

these rainy days

2011-08-15T18:07:00.001+08:00

have been back in campus since Wednesday. and have been going through lots of talks and sessions for this whole PM (Pembantu Mahasiswa/ Orientation Helpers) thing. last phase and then it’s the real thing – Orientation Week

and through it all, i’ve actually learned quite a lot. well, much more than i expected.

i went for half of a course called “Energise and Be Energised” in replacement of a friend. although it was very very very, i say again, very brain draining, i did gain valuable insights. i was encouraged to see students from all kinds of backgrounds come together, talk, discuss and exchange views. we had to go deep into eight of the core values of Universiti Malaya. kind of like a moral class but which forced us to think practical not just the nice sounding moral-ish answers.

apart from that, a little something happened which reminded me that every opportunity must be stretched out for (it’s like i just came back from a motivational talk) but sad to say, i learned this through letting an opportunity pass and really regretting it after. it was a chance to speak up but i remained silent it wasn’t a big thing, but it was a chance. i’m asking God to grant me the courage to speak truth and the wisdom to speak it in love.

been listening to some sermons which Gloria sent to me. two have been very impactful – one on Unity by Nicky Gumbel and the other on Leadership by John C. Maxwell. both have caused me to reflect and repent from parts of my life that have been pretty off target from God’s aim. need to start investing my time in the right things now.

everyday, i look at myself and i wonder what does God see in me? i am so inadequate in so many areas, i’m so inconsistent, i have so many insecurities and fears and yet, everyday He brings me through. He gives me chance after chance after chance (i think i’ve long passed my second chance).

everyday, i get by and i know it is only by His grace and His power.

thank You, God. may You be seen in my life by the people around me.

You are my strength when I am weak.

be careful what you say

2011-08-04T09:44:00.001+08:00

the thing about people nowadays (me included) is that we’re not very careful with our words.

i remember when we were younger, “stupid” would get you into trouble. we were taught that it was a bad bad word and we were not to say it. but these days, we use “stupid” so carelessly. stupid this, stupid that. we use it for situations, people, things, etc.

i remember i used to struggle with maths when i was in standard 6 and once i said out of frustration “i hate maths!” my mom reprimanded me for using the word “hate” because she said it was a strong word that should not simply be used. i agree. yet today, i just have to take a look at facebook and i get to read all kinds of “i hate’s” on people’s statuses. in my opinion, “hate” is a very strong and destructive word.

well on the other hand, i think the meaning of the word “love” has been terribly misconstrued too. twisted, downgraded and misused. in its essence, “love” is such a beautiful and powerful word. however, it is used so lightly and simply these days. i myself have been guilty of this ‘sweet talk’ and because of that have hurt others and have been hurt by it too. i think many times we don’t really understand the meaning of “love” when we use it. how can you say you love someone and a few months down the line that love just disappears or worse, turns into hate.

are we saying things we do not mean?

saying things we may regret in time?

are we saying things that hurt others?

are we saying things simply because we feel like it without thinking through its consequences?

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.
- James 3:9-10

Lord, forgive me for the things i have said that i should not have. Grant me Your wisdom and guard my lips that the words i speak will be careful and glorifying unto You. Help me to only say what i mean but to also think through the consequences of my words. Keep my heart close to Yours because out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.

God bless, everything is God blessed.

2011-07-31T22:54:00.005+08:00

Ask her about God’s goodness in her life and she will tell you about how God blessed her with a job as a clerk even though she had no qualifications whatsoever. She’ll tell you about how God provided for her children’s educations. And throughout her testimony she’ll say several times, “God bless, everything is God blessed.” And she always assured me God will provide.

I’ll remember her waiting up for me or my brothers when we were out late. She always disapproved of us going out and sleeping late. A few days back, she told me not to come home so late because it was dangerous, for girls especially. She always cared, always loved. I thank God for her life which has blessed mine.

"God bless, everything is God blessed."

yew leung and mah-mah :)

Mah-mah (my grandma) passed away today at 3.30pm. Passed away peacefully with almost all her children and grandchildren around her. As she breathed her last, we each said our goodbye’s and i love you’s to her. She has gone to heaven and one day, I’ll meet her there. We’re okay with letting her go, we just miss her very much. ♥

fragile

2011-07-27T02:59:00.000+08:00

read about the horrible killings in Oslo, Norway. one gunman beckoning his victims and then shooting them. 76 lives lost just like that.

the train which derailed in China, killing at least 39 people.

a friend got into a really bad motorbike accident and is hospitalized with a broken leg, a broken arm and a fractured jaw.

my grandmother has been really weak and tired this past week :( i love my mah-mah.

life's fragile. one moment here, next moment gone. the closer the people are, the more painful.

just watched two super action packed movies these past two days - Hanna and Captain America. and after watching, it's as if people are just there to be shot at, killed, etc. as if lives don't really matter. okay, so they're just movies. but think about it, after watching so much of these kind of movies, are we becoming more and more desensitized towards the taking of lives? have we come to adopt the "if it's not me, it's fine" attitude. just a thought.

this past week, the whole theme of the fragility of life has been on my mind. morbid, yes. but it also makes you question, what would you do before you lost someone or before you yourself died? makes you appreciate the lives around you more. makes you want to not have anything to regret, whether it's in words or deeds.

yet, i will still trust that life and it's timings are in God's hands. like the case of Daniel in the lions' den and like Shadrach, Meshach and Abenego in the fiery furnace. i believe God is able to keep us from death till our time is up and even then, it is a continuation of life eternal and a beginning to a new life with Christ.

i trust God in His timings and His plans.

as for me, i will live this life for Him.

live a life that i am prepared to leave when He calls.

live a life of faith, hope and love.

heart breaking truth :(

2011-07-17T16:14:00.002+08:00

when i watched this video, it broke my heart. but the next thing that came to me was what my Lord Jesus said on the cross.

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” –Luke 23:34

God, help me to still look at them through your eyes, despite what i see here. And grant me wisdom to respond in love.

one out of ten - 1/10

2011-07-12T01:11:00.001+08:00

today, i woke up with a sick feeling in my stomach. i wasn’t prepared for the week. i’d just learned the night before that i had to fill up lots of forms along with getting signatures, validations and whatnots and i had to send them back by this coming wednesday.

i was to go back to uni but i wasn’t sure at what time so i figured, early morning was the safest. i hadn’t packed yet.

everything seemed so disastrous. timings couldn’t have been worse. but the day went on still.

as it went on, it got better bit by bit. i found out i only needed to get back to college by 9pm which granted me a full day to finish up my forms.

was getting pretty stressed doing the forms. i thank God that my family members were very supportive and helpful throughout called the people in charge and they said there was a short grace period for the dateline. that piece of information was such a relief! (i’m still going to try to get it all done by tomorrow!)

and at the end of the day, i was just so thankful for how God brought me through the day. this passage from Luke 17:11-19 stuck with me throughout the day too.

Ten Healed of Leprosy (Luke 17:11-19)

¹¹Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus travelled along the border between Samaria and Galilee.
¹²As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance
¹³and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!”
¹⁴When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed.
¹⁵One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice.
¹⁶He threw himself at Jesus' feet and thanked him–and he was a Samaritan.
¹⁷Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine?
¹⁸Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?”
¹⁹Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”

i want to be like that man who came back to Jesus full of praise and thanksgiving. i want to be that one out of ten. and today was just that; a day that got better as it went along. i was constantly reminded to keep going back to God in thanks.

thank you, Lord. ♥
and thank you for what happened on 9th July 2011, Saturday.
you were right when you gave the words “unity” and “love for Malaysia.” indeed we saw the breaking down of barriers to stand together for what is right. continue to cause my heart to love my country and its people even more. thank you for Malaysia.

there’s still more to come!

BERSIH 2.0

2011-07-04T02:01:00.000+08:00

two people in my life.

one says, "this whole thing is no good. it'll go up in flames. it's a recipe for disaster. what's the point of it? what are they trying to prove by doing this? no, we should not support this."

the other says "no, we must support this. the people are uniting to stand up for what is right, what will you do? for too long we've complained and not done anything, we talk a lot but when it comes to actually doing something, we sit back and say 'i'm going to play it safe, better not get involved'. no, we must support this together."

don't let your fear, pride, ignorance or indifference hold you back from doing something and being part of something that is right.

BERSIH 2.0 - The Coalition For Clean and Fair Elections

i support this.

why?

because i love Malaysia.

and it's time for us to unite and stand for what is right.

outside my palace walls

2011-06-30T01:38:00.001+08:00

i sat on the steps, facing the blank wall which went around the compounds of Kuala Lumpur Gospel Hall (KLGH). that wall was tall, tall enough so that i could not see what was on the other side even when i stood at the top of those steps.

it was like that wall separated two worlds: the peaceful church grounds and the broken world outside on the streets of KL.

i sat there reflecting for a bit on the things i’d been exposed to the past few days; the refugees, the poor, the homeless. i thought about how we found it so irksome that the water got cut off before we could finish washing up the dishes, when clean running water was something many who were poor had no access to. the irony.

i thought about how my life was so comfortable. the roof over my head, the love of family and friends, more than enough food on our tables, pocket money i did not have to slave for, gadgets, the list goes on. my comfortable palace.

that morning’s devotion was about Queen Esther and what Mordecai said to her, “Don’t think for a moment that you will escape there in the palace when all other Jews are killed.” (Esther 4:13) it was a message from Mordecai to not be indifferent to what happened outside those walls because it would affect her too. it was about how Esther was in a place of comfort yet she still had a role to play in saving the people outside of her palace.

i am 21 years old. all my life i’ve been sheltered, loved and cared for, protected. i’ve never had to fight for food or runaway for my life. but i need to remember, ‘it could be me’.

i thought to myself how ignorant and indifferent i had been to everything around me. SWEEP really opened my eyes. the real world was a very broken one.

i sat on the steps, the high walls before me.

picture taken from http://weheartit.com/entry/11076207

have i built walls around me that keep the unpleasant things of the world out of sight? that cause me not to see, not to know the pain behind these walls?

Lord, tear down these walls I’ve built.
Take me outside of these palace walls.
Use me in this broken world,
to make a difference – one life at a time.

SWEEP : Social Work Exposure & Embracement Program 2011 (6th-19th June 2011)

priceless

2011-06-21T02:27:00.001+08:00

the past one month plus since exams ended have been very eventful. starting with three weeks spent with the other PP’s (Pembantu Pelajar) otherwise know as orientation helpers.

the experience and relationships built were simply priceless and so very precious.

the first week of training was one that was bitter sweet. i remember asking if i had made the right decision to spend my holidays doing this. and i remember clearly what God said, “Give it your best.”

i remember the late nights and early mornings. the constant soundings the seniors gave us. but we got through that and it taught us all to work together as a team and our friendships grew stronger.

the outdoor camp, for me, was when everyone really bonded, helped and aided each other. being thrown into a whole new environment was really great to help us learn that we needed each other. some were better in this and some were better in that. in the end, we all came together as one.

the second week was our gerak kerja week. lots of work and preparations to be done for the coming orientation week. it was a lot more chilled and laid back as compared to the training week. and the amount of choki choki we consumed is mad! did a lot of dancing and cheering that week too. oh, i sprained my ankle too and had to go to a chinese doctor who rubbed and pulled it. i almost lost my purse too in all the drama but thank God for kind hearted people who found it and returned it .

as for orientation week, i was only there for half the week. cause i had a flight to Bali. but for the first half, it was a lot of early mornings and late nights again. and there was a lot a lot of students to handle! can’t remember but if i’m not wrong 900+? the hall was packed like a sardine can. didn’t really get to know many of them as i left pretty early. but the little bits of orientation that i was involved in, i enjoyed very much. oh, and i was part of the Biro Kesenian (or was it Kebudayaan?).

the PP’s also had a trip to langkawi after orientation week. unfortunately, it clashed with SWEEP 2011. (which will be another story to tell )

we’ll be having another orientation coming up when the undergraduates come in in september. let’s see how that goes.

these people, memories and experiences were simply priceless. and i really thank God for allowing our paths to cross. I thank God for telling me to give it my best from the start and that truly gave the whole thing a lot of meaning and purpose.

love you all banyak-banyak *HUGS*

endure, enduring, endured, endures, endurance, end.

2011-05-12T09:58:00.000+08:00

what i’ve learned over the past two semesters of my first year in uni…LOTS!

i’ve learned to endure hardships and that hardships are a form of discipline from the one who loves me.

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?

-Hebrews 12:7

i’ve learned that i must continue enduring whatever comes my way and that God will give me the strength i need and because it builds faith and love for one another.

i’ve learned that i’ve endured a lot of consequences from my last minuteness and lousy management skills. i must learn from that.

i’ve learned that despite it all, God’s love endures forever.

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good.
His love endures forever.

-Psalm 136:1

and this is my hope to keep on enduring - Him who endured it all for me.

²Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful man, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

-Hebrews 13:2-3

i’ve learned that endurance is more than just sticking through something. it’s what keeps you going, pressing forward, persevering when everything is coming against you from every direction. endurance is what carries you to the end, to the finishing line.
endure, until the end.

*notice i’m doing a little alphabet challenge here on my own?
coming up: F! i’m thinking maybe something on faith? forgiveness? friends? future? failures? feelings? or maybe, facebook?

storycorps

2011-05-05T21:52:00.002+08:00

storycorps was introduced to me by Yew Kong. and i remember watching this video and tearing in front of my brother Yew Meng who then teased me for crying :(

I couldn't remember what was the name of their youtube channel and could not find it for myself after that. today, it was at the side of my youtube window and i watched a few and i watched the one above again and - cried. haha. such a emo girl :|

i'm sharing with you cause it's touching. go watch the rest. :)

♥

ducks

2011-05-05T00:40:00.001+08:00

12th college is doing some work on the ponds we have between the girls’ and guys’ hostel blocks. And the best thing about that is they’ve added some ducks and geese to the pond too!

Li Fen and I decided to go for a walk around the pond after lunch to see the new pets our college has. And she said, “12th college is like a farm now.” We’ve got cats, chickens, a rooster, and now ducks and geese!

`I’ll try to get some pictures of the ducks and geese.

There are four brown ducks and they always stick together. Always. They swim together, wade about together, clean themselves together.

And then there’s about seven white geese. They stick together too but not as much as the ducks. They’re super adorable when crossing the wooden plank. Hop hop hop.

But the ducks and the geese don’t mix with each other. I’m not sure why.

Okay, just some random rants at midnight about life here in uni. One more paper and then I’m done with first year!

consistency

2011-05-04T00:35:00.001+08:00

life has not been consistent. nopes. it fluctuates. it depends on the activities and on the things i have to do. sometimes i'm super duper free and chilled, other times you see me running about with lack of sleep written all over my face.

sleeping time is not consistent, eating times are not consistent, social life also not consistent.

sad to say, my walk with God has not been very consistent either in the midst of my busy mess. :(

looking back at my 7 months break before entering uni and also at my journal, i realized how much more time i had spent with God and on journaling things that were important. and looking back, i'm glad i journaled because on hindsight i've seen God's faithfulness and His consistency in my life.

in the past few months, my journal's been pretty inconsistent too :( there's been a lot of things missed out. lots of struggles, lots of pains, lots of joys, lots of praise, a lot of things – unwritten.

at the end of 2010, the words that God had spoken over and over to me was to be courageous and committed to the things He calls me to, to finish up what He gives to me and not to get distracted halfway.

stepped into 2011, and *whoosh* after a few weeks i was barely able to keep my head above the water. i let a lot of things distract me.

so, as of now, i’m trying to get back my consistency and momentum in this journey. and part of that is journaling and reading back, so that i will remember the things God has spoken to me.

i know it is true, that if i don’t learn to be consistent in my personal walk with God from now, when i start working or dating or doing something that takes a lot of time…sure habis. :\

God, thank You for Your faithfulness and consistency in my life. Thank You for Your amazing and unchanging love that still reaches out to me even when I’ve been so unfaithful and inconsistent in the things You’ve given to me. I’m so sorry I’ve let You down so many times and I’m so sorry for all the broken promises I’ve made. God, thank You for Your grace and mercy and Your second, third, fourth chances You’ve given me. And at the end of the day, I pray I will be like the good and faithful servant in the Parable of the Talents who invested and put to work the talents You’ve given to me. Teach me and guide me, Lord.

and should everything in my life become inconsistent and crazy, i pray that there would still be the one constant consistency in my life – God.

busted

2011-05-02T14:15:00.001+08:00

today, i helped my mom dye her hair. it was fun cause we both had no idea how to do it with any proper systems, whether it’s from up to down or down to up, side to side. i don’t know. i just spread and combed through her hair with the dye.

because her hair was short and we had mixed the whole bottle of dye, we decided to dye my hair too. though i think there won’t be much difference as the colour is pretty dark (macam the first time i dyed my hair. super fail )

and as she spread the dye through my hair and tilted my head to the left, she said in shock, “Eh, why got earing here wan?! Since when you poke?”

uh oh. busted.

i pierced my right helix in february and up till now, my parents have been pretty oblivious to it. hmm.

but mum’s ok with it, i guess. there was no further comment.
just, “Thanks for helping me dye my hair.”

anguish

2011-05-01T14:28:00.004+08:00

Please just take some time to watch this video.

Anguish means extreme pain and distress.
The emotion so stirred that it becomes painful.

Yew Meng shared this video in church with us today during our 9AM prayer. Watching it the second time at the end of the church service really broke my heart and left me in tears. There is so much truth in that video. I remembered the times when I knew and felt God's anguish for the church, for His people, for Malaysia. Somehow, along the way I let go of it pursuing my own happiness, my own agendas. Along the way, I grew comfortable. Anguish was replaced by complacency.

I am so sorry, God.

I am not what I was, I am not where I am supposed to be.

God, I don't have Your heart or Your burden.

God, I'm coming back to you.

Break my heart for what breaks yours.

O God, anguish.

Many times, it's the truth that we need to hear. The truth may be painful but it is what also breaks us and convicts us. And though it may hurt, the truth is far better than the lies and denials that destroy us bit by bit without us realizing it. God, cause me to listen to Your truths and to walk and live in truth.

another rainy day

2011-04-26T18:56:00.007+08:00

loveliest weather we've had in days,
sun shining down in warm golden rays

this was true just hours ago when i was walking to the swimming pool ah well. it’s raining again. and i’m sitting at my balcony, looking at the rain. it’s beautiful

two papers down, three more to go.

at the end of that, it’ll mean that my first year in uni is done.

*takes a moment to let that sink*

I FINISH MY FIRST YEAR IN UNI!
NO MORE THE BLUR SESAT JUNIOR.
NO LONGER IN THE “RED DOT” CATEGORY *joanne
NO MORE THE ONE BEING LOOKED OUT FOR.

my adventure here in uni will continue to progress i’m excited! for all God has in store.

three more years to go. this is my prayer:

Teach us to number our days aright,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Psalm 90:12

rain is stopping. off to dinner. and then back to studying.

i have to remind myself; i’m not actually done with first year yet. i’ve still got my finals to finish up

toodles.

rainfall

2011-04-22T02:11:00.002+08:00

so today i was studying in the library and i usually walk over to the big windows on the third floor when i need a change from looking at the blank walls. there's green grass and trees to look at from there, the blue cloudy skies on sunny days and most importantly, the warmth you get when you touch the glass.

there's also the main road where the cars all go in one direction and it's pretty interesting watching the people get in and out of the cars when they're not supposed to be stopping on that road. it's a different story when you're the one driving on that road and someone stops in front of you to let their passengers off. i get irritated most times :\ funny how when you're looking from that window it doesn't irritate you, instead it's amusing. funny what a change in perspective can do.

but today, it rained super duper heavily in the evening. thunder, lightning, strong winds and huge drops of rain. my window lost its warmth. and i just sat there watching the rain fall, watching the drops roll down the window. and i noticed the window leaks somewhere, cause the frame was slightly wet on the inside. just a thought.

the rain, depicted precisely what i'd been feeling. :(
*this is turning into a gila emo post. which is rare, since i usually don't write gila emo posts.
i shall elaborate no further.

at first, i was pretty disappointed. why did it have to rain? it spoiled some dinner plans we had, i had no umbrella, i was stuck in the North Pole of UM, i was really hungry and really cold. awesome. i really wanted to say, "it's not fair!" but something in me said, "God knows best."

God knows best. dinner was postponed. the rained paused to a drizzle for a while so that i could walk over to the bus stop quickly. the bus came after some time, nevertheless at least it came. i got out of the North Pole back to the other side of UM where i stay. i went straight for dinner, bumped into some friends and had good company for dinner. i think i ate too much :\ i got back to my room and died on the bed for a few hours.

i am reminded, unlike weather changes, God still remains and is unchanging. He still cares, He still understands, He still knows what is best.

i think i'm pretty sick of the library for now. it's too cold and too crowded, and i'm such a complainer. terrible.

finals start next week, God still remains. yay!

nothing can separate

2011-04-18T21:25:00.001+08:00

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:37-39

when all is uncertain,

hold on to what is unchanging.

You are unchanging, everlasting,

the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

and therefore,

my hope in You is certain.

i love you.

twentyone

2011-04-04T00:37:00.005+08:00

i had a lovely birthday thank you very much to all who made it happen and all the wishes here there and everywhere. i am blessed.
most memorable bits and pieces of it…

the singing group at my door at 12am -thank you, lydia, ruth vinoth, emily tang, jun ling and sandra.
reading a letter i wrote to myself when i was 14 years old. it said on the front: To Lee Wai Yan, read on your 21st birthday. Jesus Loves You.
McDonald’s breakfast at 4am to celebrate my birthday with 14 others. i was in my zombie mode. –i am so grateful for friends who are willing to get up (or not sleep until) such an hour just to have McD’s together
my class singing ‘Happy Birthday’ for me hee.
i got free lunch and also a free compartmentalized container too!
one class getting cancelled and so i could finish up another assignment due that day. thank you, God.
bible study – i learnt about Christian unity. though i was a bit sleepy due to the 4am breakfast.
mamak and swensen’s ice cream after that such a surprise, the ice cream was! thank you mima us girls were so grateful and excited.
phone call all the way from australia –miss you, veili!
i rode a motorbike after a long time. thank you, bestfriend for letting me ride the bike. hee.
all the gifts and cards and notes i got

i say it again, i am blessed. thank you, God.

so, twenty one years old. what have i achieved and where am i heading to? there’s a lot to think about there. as of now, i’m going to do my best for God where i am now. throughout the years, i’ve learned to love a little more, hope a little more and have a little more faith. and God has been teaching me a lot, though i may not be a good student at times i’ve come to know my worth in God’s eyes and how precious i am to Him. i’ve discovered my heart a little bit more and have dealt with broken bits and pieces here and there. it’s beautiful how when God begins to come into our lives, He heals and restores. indeed, He makes everything beautiful in His time. i am still learning and growing in this walk. i still struggle, i still get disappointed and discouraged, i still cry. i still am human and i still make mistakes (lots of them :| ) but God still loves me – and that gives me hope.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13

like i’ve said before,

in my life, i want to have more faith, more hope and more love

have a nice day. thank you again :)

also, this is my 100th post! *throws confetti in the air* :) hee. took me super duper long to get here ok!

always good

2011-03-25T22:59:00.002+08:00

God you are so, so good

There is just none like you

You make me sing

Out loud for joy

Lord I’m so grateful

Jesus, Your love for me

Like nothing I’ve ever seen

I lift up my hands

To praise Your name

O how I love you

You make everything beautiful
You make all things new
You are ever so wonderful
You are always good

Always Good

by Kenneth Chin & Joel Vijay

PKVUM's Easter Production has come to an end :)

It was worth it! To God be the glory!

Now the real thing begins, follow up and evangelism!

God, please guide us!

sometimes you got to be random

2011-03-20T17:35:00.004+08:00

and impulsive :) i learnt that from a new friend.

i had one of the most wonderful days yesterday :)

started with McDonald's BRUNCH with Tse Hwei and E-laine. brunch cause the line was so superduper long due to kiasu malaysians with McD coupons (including us :P). we didn't make it for breakfast :(

then on to Gerakan PPUM in the morning. i'm glad we didn't cancel it. i am reminded of why we decided to do what we do, because people need to know the love of God. we bumped into a final year medical student, Avni and she's the loveliest :) it really helps to have someone who's trained in the medical field to go with us.

while on our way out from the hospital back to our vehicles, up came the topic of going for the Hot Air Balloon Fair in Putrajaya. Norbert was willing to drive and so four of us, Norbert, Phil, Avni and me, went to see hot air balloons :) my first time and boy, are they HUGE!

Told you they were HUGE!

The boys : Phil and Norbert :)
*thank you, Norbert, for driving us all the way there and i'm sure your photography skills have gone up a level higher ;)
Phil, takyah lah :P heh, kidding.
thank you, Phil, for being excited about the hot air balloons and asking all of us to go.

Avni and I "flying" :)

on the bridge where there was a better view :) and where we watched the fireworks go BOOM!
my favourite picture of the day!

oh, speaking of the title - being random and impulsive, i wouldn't have had such a good break if not for the random trip to Putrajaya to see the hot air balloons. meeting Avni, a final year medic student who was just walking by the six of us gathered at the bus stop to pray before we went to the hospital and who just joined us at the question "Would you wanna come?", who was willing to avail her time to pray with us for patients, i learned that we can do so much more for God if we just start to listen to Him and look at the needs around us. i'm sure she could have said something like, "oh, i've got to study" or "oh, i'm on my way to my college to do my own thing." or something of that sort, but she decided to join us. and it was really good to have her with us, God really used her to be a blessing to the patients and to our group. i really want to allow God to use my life for His purposes too.

*note to self:
i need to stop giving excuses that i'm too busy :(
i just did that today to my church friends :( sorry, Sue Ann and Joanne ♥

it's going to be a hectic week; presentations, roadshows, transcripts, assignments due, and EASTER 2011! :)

i'm going to trust God. I'm going to try my very best to listen to God and open my eyes BIG the needs around me. I don't want to neglect the people around me and i want to love like how Jesus loves.

so, do tell me if i'm being too much of a busybee and a worrywart :) tell me to STOP! and to trust in God.

have a lovely week.

oh, and if you're in UM, come for this!

it's going to be awesome! :)

today's ten things.

2011-03-15T22:04:00.002+08:00

today, i woke up with a good 7 hours of sleep, such bliss.

today, i had tiramisu chocolates from my roommate for breakfast.

today, i wrote "dead men have no rights." and reminded myself to die to self.

today, i rode an old bus to my faculty.

today, i didn't feel well in moral class :\

today, i accidentally drew on my new white shirt :(

today, i turned off too early, had to take a detour, and got some others and myself stuck in a jam :(

today, i'm going to watch Rango :)

today, has been a long day.

today, i thank God for today ♥

take it slow

2011-03-03T01:25:00.001+08:00

but how?

when everything and everyone is rushing,
when datelines are so super duper close,
when there's no more time to waste.

how to take it slow?

sounds quite silly,
but rest.

rest in God, rest in His love, rest in His strength.
rest in His joy, rest in His peace, rest in Him.

i am tired,
i shall rest.

majesty

2011-02-21T18:33:00.000+08:00

Majesty, Majesty

Your grace has found me just as I am

Empty handed but alive in Your hands

Majesty, Majesty

Forever I am changed by Your love

In the presence of Your Majesty
-Majesty, Delirious

Indeed, despite all my flaws and inabilities, You are still King of kings and Lord of lords. Despite my downfalls and shortcomings, Your grace reaches out to me. Despite my struggles and times of weakness, I am found alive in You.

But He said to me,

"My grace is sufficient for you,

for my strength is made perfect in weakness."

2 Corinthians 12:9

Lord, You make all the difference, Your love and presence make all the difference. And I know this is true because You are Majestic. Thank You.

nothing but the blood of Jesus

2011-02-14T09:22:00.000+08:00

woke up this morning with this song playing in my head.
such a beautiful reminder of how i am saved by His grace and loved by God.
nothing else can save but only by the blood of Jesus.

what can wash away my sins?

nothing but the blood of Jesus

what can make me whole again?

nothing but the blood of Jesus

oh, precious is the flow

that makes me white as snow

no other fount i know

nothing but the blood of Jesus

happy valentines day, loves.
Jesus loves you :)

totally sweet and awesome :)

2011-02-10T02:16:00.006+08:00

my awesome new layout :)

cantik kan?

and i like the new fonts blogger has for my titles and stuff.

distracted

*sigh*

and i think i'm in love with the colour pink all over again :)
there was a point where i switched my favourite colour from pink to blue because of the blueblue sky.

but i think i like pink all over again now :) sweet mahh.

anyway, here's some pretty awesome...
(i think i'm over-using this word)
...stuff :)

baked cookies for chinese new year :)
choc chips!

trip back to Ipoh for chinese new year :)
family ♥

awesome new fippers slippers :)
i like blue still :D
and now, i shall have full confidence i shall not slip as i walk to and fro the bathroom in my college.
thanks to my kawan baik :)

thank you, God for everything.

everyday which you bring me through.

every person you have blessed me with.

thank you.

you are amazing.

have a lovely day!

2011-02-08T12:04:00.004+08:00

(:TODAY WILL BE A LOVELY DAY

chinese new year resolutions

2011-02-06T02:01:00.003+08:00

since my new year’s resolutions didn’t get onto the blog, i decided to come up with something for Chinese New Year
it’s going to be simple and practical resolutions. and hopefully i’ll stick by them *hopefully!

Stop biting/peeling my nails! It’s a disgusting habit and i tend to do it when i’m bored or nervous. Plus i want to paint my nails pretty colours
Keep my room clean and tidy! Just finished a major clean up and now my back is aching imagine all the time and energy i can save if my room is kept in the state of clean (most times) *i think this has been on my resolution list since long ago. heh.
STUDY! Go the extra mile in all that i am to do. By God’s grace, strength and wisdom!
Exercise! Anyone want to be my exercise kaki? Doing stuff alone is no fun
Be random , smile more , laugh more , have fun , enjoy , run , jump , play , dance , get creative , be artsy , be fartsy (whatever that means), love genuinely , be nice , care and a lot more of that which makes others and me happy
REST in God. Remember who He is no matter how overwhelming everything gets
Cut down on FACEBOOK!

seven shall be enough. hopefully, i’ll stick by them.

this sums things up pretty nicely :)

Happy Bunny Chinese New Year!

YewKong and Charity’s rabbit (Panda) My favourite rabbit!

cookies and pizza

2011-02-04T02:28:00.000+08:00

i miss, i like, i love

netball,
pizza,
and
cookies.

sama macam this girl.

happy birthday, lifoong ♥

*BIGHUG*

fishaway

2011-01-21T22:36:00.001+08:00

lately, i've been needing a getaway.

so my dad was going fishing,
and i haven't gone fishing in a long time.

and i remember how much i miss fishing.
the calm waters reflecting the trees and the sky,
waiting patiently for a bite.
quiet. peace. calm. rest.

and so i went on a fishaway :) with my dad and yewleung.

and this was what i got...

time spent with my dad and brother

pretty blue sky

a new friend. he's a charmer!

and i got a fish :) big one!

now, back to life.

i think i need to get a hobby.

like how daddy loves fishing.

i need to find a getaway hobby :)

...besides sleeping :\

have a lovely weekend :)

hello goodbye :)

2011-01-21T01:22:00.002+08:00

*twentyone days late :P oh well.

and another year passes me by.
2010, has been a year of God's faithfulness. through the transitions and all, He was and still is faithful.

at random,

singapore gang ♥ PPBCyouth ♥ brothers ♥ durian party ♥ ice-cream with the girls ♥ farewells :'( ♥ mission trips ♥ first time flying ♥ sarawak ♥ sabah ♥ Mount Kinabalu ♥ white water rafting ♥ camping trip with the boys ♥ zorbing ♥ isi rimba with TESLians ♥ Broga Hill ♥ Panda the Rabbit ♥

National Conference 2010 ♥ christmas carolling ♥ Hanging on to Faith, PPBC Youth Camp 2010 ♥ Sayang Camp ♥ T.H.E. Camp 2010 - Making it Count, Faith in Action ♥ PPBC Church Camp ♥ making new friends ♥ reconnecting with old friends ♥ love ♥ prayer ♥ Melaka cendol ♥ UM ♥ ohyeah, haircut ♥

so much has happened in the past year. the most significant would be the whole phase of entering into uni. i've learned so much and also struggled with so much in my first sem, but God has been my Rock and salvation.

20 years old seemed a long way to go when i was 14. look where i am now - twenty going on twentyone! God has been ever faithful in my life, and i am ever grateful.

so much has happened this past year that made the year seem very long. but come December, i said "December already?" :| the events and mostly camps at the end of the year (T.H.E. Camp, National Conference, PPBC Youth Camp) taught me and reminded me to place all my trust in God, to let go of my fears and inabilities and to commit my whole life to Him. it'll take a lot more effort than what i'm putting in at the moment. and i've got to start strengthening my feeble hands and steadying my knees that give way, to begin to go on exciting adventures with Him. I love Him and I pray that this love continues to develop and grow more pure and true day by day.

*takes a deep breath* here comes more adventures!

hello, new year :)

i really really really need You, God.

2010-12-22T01:32:00.000+08:00

Answer me when I call to you,

O my righteous God.

Give me relief from my distress;

be merciful to me and hear my prayer.

Psalm 4:1

am not going through anything like what King David went through.

but there are things that are really bringing me down :(

yet I believe in a mighty God, the God of David and many others who went through all kinds of situations. And I know nothing is impossible for Him.

there is hope even in the most hopeless situations.

in God there is hope.

please, help me. :'(

let’s try to keep things clean and neat, ok?

2010-12-15T22:29:00.008+08:00

cleaned up my room

looked like a hurricane ran through it but now it is very neat. chehwahh.
yewmeng likes to joke that if our house got robbed, the robbers would enter my room and think that it had already been ransacked by robbers.
my kawan said more like a tsunami happened, considering the amount of time i took to clean up my room. hehh

but anyway, apart from all those snide remarks, my room is in the state of … BERSIH
and i intend to keep it that way

And i’ve been thinking, my life is very much like my room. It get’s messy, it get’s cleaned up. Many times, i’m just too lazy and tired to clean it up, i’ll just make do with whatever space i can find in the mess. It get’s frustrating when i can’t find my stuff, it gets uncomfortable to live in…and then i’ll go into cleaning mode.

My life gets messy too. I get distracted, get lost, get tired, get frustrated, get stuck, get scared… And always, i’m unable to clean up my life on my own, and God in His love and mercy, reaches out and washes over me. thank you.

My mom always nags me to keep my room tidy. She says to put my clothes back into the cupboard, put my books and stuff back into their correct places, hang up my towel, pick up my clothes, etc. Basically, put away stuff and keep things orderly.

My room doesn’t just become messy in just a minute or two, it starts with trying on clothes and leaving them on my bed, then messing up my cupboard to find a shirt or something, then not putting away my clean folded clothes…the study table get’s messy starting with not putting away the papers and pens after making some cards, then leaving books and papers on it, after a while, it’s so cluttered, i can’t use the table for writing or anything, so I do my work on the bed. bad habit. I like to write, read, study on the bed. And usually just fall asleep with everything on it. Oh, and i leave lots of books and stuff on the floor too. The dressing table goes crazy starting with the accessories; hair ties, earrings, bracelets, necklaces, this and that. After a while, so many things are jumbled up, I sometimes can’t find my pair of glasses. Haiyo. So, that’s roughly how my room ends up looking like a hurricane ran through.

And like life, things usually don’t just come crashing down in a mess instantly. Well, at least for me lah. I tend to just walk into messes or create messes for myself Pretty dumb, but yeah. It starts with little compromises. Not doing what i know i’m supposed to do and doing stuff i know i’m not supposed to do.

Then i wonder, where did it all come crashing down? How did i end up in such a situation?

And all i can do is turn to God. Desperately in need for Him to come intervene, come and help clean up my mess. And sometimes, I wonder if He ever gets fed-up with this girl who never seems to learn her lesson but in His great love and compassion, decides to help her and give her a second chance.

i love you. i know i don’t deserve these second chances. thank you.

So, like how i’m trying to keep my room tidy, i’m going to try to live my life for God according to His standards and His will. I know i will definitely struggle, fall, stumble, make messes, sin…but at least try, try to stay in tune with Him, stay right with God. Where i can, i will live to please Him, and even then i cannot do it on my own, i still run and am fuelled by His grace and strength.

I am after all, just a sinner saved by grace. His grace.

♥

today

2010-12-07T23:23:00.001+08:00

today

i hugged my roommate, Li Fen, before she left for her hometown in Johor and said, “ Can you believe it we just finished one sem! Haluansiswa didn’t seem too long ago…” i’m going to miss her very very very much. and i’m sorry that towards the end, i wasn’t really in the room.

today

i packed all my stuff up and took them home. my college room has been a place of silence and solitude, where i go to when i need my time alone to reflect and ponder on stuff. there was one time, i got marooned there without my cell phone and no internet, during the holidays. my roommate was not there and the food stores were closed interesting time. usually after a while it gets too boring, so i run back home to PJ. such a spoilt kid

today

i posted all my NC 2010 pictures on Facebook.

R.I.U.T. : Risk it, U-Turn! NC 2010

TWO! R.I.U.T. : Risk it, U-Turn! NC 2010

today

i read through my red journal and i was reminded of many many many things; good and not so good. the year started off with much hopes and uncertainty. but at the end, seeing how God’s plans unfold was simply amazing. i’ve learned so much this past year and God has been ever-present in my ups and downs. but that’s not the end, He still has much much more in store! and many times i am fearful to go, but i’m asking Him for grace, strength and courage.

today,

i thank God for today.

final two

2010-12-05T16:38:00.001+08:00

just got back from NC 2010 and it was really good, really really good.

am having my two last papers for my first sem’s finals tomorrow – Writing About Literature and Physical Education. God, please help me.

am a bit restless now. so, meet my pet baby gecko.

and he’s reading my Physical Education notes

distraction from Writing about Literature

comel kan? aiseh, so distracted. how you tell me, how? okay, back to the notes. and update on NC 2010 will come soon after tomorrow’s two final papers.

last two, last two, last two, last two, last two, last two, last two, last two, last two, last two, last two, last two!!

that secret place

2010-11-23T09:39:00.001+08:00

take me to that place, Lord

where there’s nothing else but me and you

longing for your presence

i know that you’re drawing me to you

(Fall in This Place, Planet Shakers)

he offered his hand, inviting her to take it and follow him. she placed her hand in his, he took it gently yet held it firmly. she felt the warmth and the security in that grasp and she too tightened her hold just a bit.

he led her to a gate that opened into a lush green garden, hedges and rows of beautiful greenery surrounded them. flowers of the brightest blooms blossomed.

they sat on a wooden bench, spending time just enjoying each other’s presence. he held her close, she rested in his embrace. he told her his secrets, she poured her heart out to him. he comforted and gave her his assurances and promises. she closed her eyes and at that moment let her heart trust him.

she loved it; the sights, the smells, the sounds, the tastes, the touch of it all – she loved his touch most of all. the intimacy, the closeness between them both. she loved him and he loved her.

however, time passed and she didn’t know when it began but her love for him began to fade. she began to be attracted to the world outside that garden. it was tempting and alluring, interesting, wild, mysterious. she began to venture out bit by bit, compromising what she once promised she would never do. eventually she began to disobey his words. he spoke to her, confronted her. she refused to listen, she turned away.

she chased after pleasures, chased after moments, chased after materials. and in all her pursuits she ran farther and farther away from him. even when he invited her to their secret place, she just sat there nonchalantly, ignoring his love for her.

but he still loved her with an unconditional, ferocious and relentless love. he loved her.

one day, as she was wandering around chasing and following those momentary sparks, she tripped, stumbled and fell into a deep pit. her body bruised and cut, it hurt. in the pit were thorny bushes and they began to grow around her entangling her in their vines. she was trapped, tangled and hurt. she struggled to free herself only to become even more trapped. she was tired and she gave up, she surrendered.

he saw her, ran to her and with no hesitation rescued her. he freed her, saved her. he cleaned her wounds and they healed. he restored to her her beauty once again. saviour, healer, redeemer and friend.

she looked at him, and such a strong conviction broke her heart. she begged him to forgive her, to love her again. he quietened her and said, “I love you the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow. I love you.”

she closed her eyes, and put her hands to his face, running her fingers over his features; his eyes, his nose, his cheeks, his lips. she was rediscovering her first love once again. he was real and so was his love.

and he said to her, “Love me steadfastly.”

he is Christ our lover, she is the Church his bride.

have we forsaken our first love? have we forgotten his presence? have we decided to stay out of it?

Husbands, love your wives,

just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

Ephesians 5:25-27

He loves us. His call to the church is to love Him steadfastly and in loving Him, love the things upon His heart.

may we be steadfast in loving Him.

a road sign and a chick flick

2010-11-11T02:03:00.001+08:00

good job, people!

we finally finished our sign for National Conference (NatCon/NC/ R.I.U.T. banyaknye nama…)

i’m all excited for NC! despite it being in the middle of exams but anyway… yay!!

sarah, concentrating hard on the borders.

our sign nice kan?

ruth vinoth and jessica

thanks for all the help jessica!

all working on colouring just one letter? too fake lah haha.

end product! yayy! we so awesome

awesome helper gets a solo picture with sign too

we rushed off to Tropicana City Mall at about 2.10pm to catch a chick flick with Lydia, Dorenna, Sandra, Yen Yen and Hannah.

We watched You Again.

very funny in a chick flick kind of way, not quite predictable, easy to take in, feel good ending. i like it! the kind of movie that doesn’t require you to think too much or too hard suitable when you should be studying for exams, hah!

actually, i’ve been watching quite some movies in these past two weeks. Megamind and The Other Guys. and i’ve had bucket loads of laughs from them.

must constantly say to myself

“WOI, STUDY LAHH!”

i owe it to love you

2010-11-05T02:11:00.002+08:00

PKVUM T.H.E. CAMP 2010

30th October – 2nd November 2010

Highlands Christian Centre (HCC),

Cameron Highlands

it was a camp where lives were challenged to live out our faith and love for God. it was a camp where we learned the power and warmth of encouragement and of loving one another. it was a camp where we realised the importance of unity in the body of Christ with Christ as the head. it was a camp where we learned to see the needs of others instead of always looking at our own needs. it was a camp where Jesus’s Name was lifted high, where we sought God through worship and prayer. it was a camp where we were reminded of our purpose, of God’s love, of our call.

Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like You have loved me

Break my heart for what breaks Yours

Everything I am for Your kingdoms cause

As I walk from earth into eternity

(Hosanna, Hillsongs)

Lord, open up our eyes to the things unseen. break our hearts for what breaks Yours. cause our ears to be tuned to listen to Your voice. may we have courage and boldness to step out in faith for You, out of our comfort zones. help us to go that extra mile to love the people around us with Your love. Lord, we want to make a difference in our uni, UM, for You! Lord, I love UM. and I pray that you would cause me to love it even more day by day with Your extraordinary love, not my own limited love. ♥

Let no debt remain outstanding,

except the continuing debt to love one another,

for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law.

Romans 13:8

because you loved me first, i love you.

because of this love, i learn to love the people around me.

♥

for now…

2010-10-29T19:49:00.003+08:00

I am super duper duper happy!

First semester is done with. No more lectures (for now) , no more assignments (for now) , no more presentations (for now) , no more stress (for now) … Yes, I am a happy happy girl!

Going up to Cameron Highlands for PKVUM’s T.H.E. (Terrific, Happening, Exciting) Camp for four days tomorrow just adds to the excitement and joy

* I am aware of my excessive use of smileys in this post hahaa.

Just looking back at these 14 weeks in uni, I see so much of God’s grace and strength, His faithfulness and steadfastness, despite all my mistakes and inabilities. The amount of procrastination I succumbed to is just shameful! He helped me to juggle lots of accumulated things, and I love Him for always being there. I know for a fact that He was walking beside me all the way. I try to be conscious of His presence and it does help make the journey a lot less painful. He’s been so so real, thank You, God!

So, three weeks of holiday *ahem* STUDY BREAK, I mean. Five exam papers, and that’s the official end of Semester 1! I am visualising it already.

persevere, somehow you’ll make it through!

For Thy Namesake

2010-10-24T23:30:00.003+08:00

The valley was dark. On both sides of the battlefield, the troops were preparing themselves to go into battle, anytime now.

On one side the enemy was championed by a huge strong man, tall, dark, evil. He mocked and profaned the Name of the King of kings. Around him stood his minions, ready to do his bidding. Behind him; captives, chained and imprisoned, lost.

On the other side, God’s people stood. Some armed and some unarmed, most were not quite ready for battle. There were some who tried to be heroic and charged to try to save the captives, only to be cut down by the enemy. In the middle of the battlefield, many slain and many injured.

What was going on? Why were we losing the battle when we believed that we were fighting on the right side against the right enemy? It didn’t make sense.

Not until, something in me could not stand that God’s Name be profaned the way it was. It was the Spirit. And then it hit me, God’s people were more concerned on freeing the captives and going into battle, and some even just wanted to go into it to gain recognition, glory even. In the midst of that, we forgot what we were fighting for. Everyone’s purpose for being on that battlefield was different. Some wanted fame, some wanted to free the prisoners, some wanted their churches to grow, some were just following. But none of them were concerned very much that God was being mocked.

Our King was being mocked. If we were not fighting for our King, then what were we all there for?

Worship. A stirring within me cried out for us to worship our King, lifting up His Name, no other name but Jesus. Our focus needs to be brought back to our King, the only one who is able to save and who has already won the victory. Worship, giving glory and honour and praise unto His Name. Worship in spirit and in truth.

And as His people turned to Him, in worship and prayer. As they came together for one purpose, to exalt the Name of the Lord, the King Himself came into their midst, came into the battlefield and His glory and holiness shone in the darkness. His radiance was beautiful and His light so powerful that the enemy was scattered and defeated. The people of God basked in the presence of their King, the prisoners were set free from the chains and prisons and their feet were set to dancing. And the people continued to rejoice and worship.

Are we, the church, focusing on the other things, that we forget to worship and exalt our King? Are we too concerned with our programs, our ministries, our music, our outreaches that we lose sight of our hope? What are we fighting for; His Name or our own? When we pray, what is our heart’s motive? Have we lost our zeal for our God, our passion and fire for Him?

Not to us, O Lord, not to us but to Your name be the glory, because of Your love and faithfulness.

Psalm 115:1

walking on water

2010-10-22T09:48:00.000+08:00

Matthew 14:25-33

During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.

But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."

"Lord, if it is you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."

"Come," he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."

what does it feel like to be walking on water, i wonder...

when i read this passage, i felt God saying to me,

I'm going to ask you to come of your boat now...

are you willing to trust me?

When you are out, cast your eyes upon me,

do not be distracted and despaired by the winds and waves around you...

will you keep your focus on me?

Come to me, trust in me.

stepping out of our boats, out of our comfort zones, out of our safe vessels.

stepping out in faith and walking on waters, defying everything that is logical and that others believe impossible.

stepping out, with our hearts and eyes set on Christ, walking towards Him.

even when the waves and winds around us are wild and viciously attacking us, keep walking on the waters with our vision cast upon Him.

yet, even if we lose faith and begin to sink, cry out to Him, and He will come and save.

my life is at a point where God is challenging me to step out in faith with him. letting go of all my hopes and ambitions, my wants and so-called "needs", to chase after the things of God and to do His will.

Dear God,

You know me far better than i know myself.

You see my fears, my timidity, my worries.

You know how i often allow my logic to cause me to doubt.

You know how silly and easily distracted i can get.

You know how i can be selfish and hypocritical at times (actually, lots of times).

You have a whole load of broken promises i've made to You.

You know how imperfect and broken i am.

You know me, and yet You still choose to love me. Thank You.

Help me to step out of this boat in faith, onto the waters, despite the winds and the waves. Help me to be courageous and bold for You. Help me to walk towards You, not turning to the left or to the right. And when my eyes see the waves around me and my heart starts to worry, when my whole life seems to be sinking down down down; save me.

am going to start serving in PKVUM (Persaudaraan Kristian Varsiti Universiti Malaya). AGM's in a few hours time. it's going to be so different from Taman SEA's CF, but we are still serving the same God and it's going to be an exciting journey. and i pray that God would cause our lives to be transformed into the likeness of Christ more and more as we go along this journey of serving Him here in UM. :)

all i need

2010-10-18T00:47:00.006+08:00

trust in me,

he says.

and that is all the reason i need to go on.

all the hope i need to move on.

all i need to heal my heart.

all i need to know

his true love.

♥

i love you.

this is a test. testing, one two three!

2010-10-16T18:00:00.006+08:00

It's like I'm rediscovering blogging all over again!

Did you know you can email your post to a secret address you create and blogger will post it up for you? Way COOL!! (i wonder if the emocticons will show too)

And and and I've added this reaction thing, so you can 'like' my posts if you want. *hinthint*

I think I blog because it's a good distraction from my assignments :| tsk, terrible!

*edit.

ahh, so malu, i typed the wrong address and thought that this whole thing was a fluke. hehh, shy.

rewind, pause, play

2010-10-16T00:41:00.005+08:00

dear blog, long time no see!

how are you doing? :D

time for a revamp!

new title, new background, new theme :)

i like the whole rain on my window pane look.

it has a refreshing feel to it.

i like the rain.

A little update on what's been going on in my life. I've started university in University Malaya, doing a degree in TESL (Teaching English as a Second Language). I'm about to finish my first semester and it's been quite a journey. I've met new people, learned new things and discovered much in the process.

God's been taking me through the journey step by step, bit by bit. I'm learning to trust Him a lot more now. And He never fails to amaze me with His unconditional love, grace and mercy. To be transformed in Him, I need to be close to Him.

So, for now, it's a lot of reflecting and drawing near to God, allowing Him to touch, heal and remove areas of my life that are not Christlike. Getting to know Him better, falling in love with Him deeper, and experiencing Him like never before.

Being in uni can get really hectic :| Assignments, presentations, deadlines, activities *BIG SIGH* When everything gets so overwhelming and unbearable, slow it down.

Rewind; to remember our purpose and hope in God, remember His everlasting promises.

Pause; take a break and find rest in His presence, listen to His still voice.

Play; continue on with His strength and grace, find joy in Him!

Rewind. Pause. Play.

Have a nice day! :)

firsts :)

2010-04-18T23:40:00.004+08:00

haven't been writing here in almost two months and it has been very exciting times. lots of first times for me :)

in march, i started working as a promoter in an electrical appliance store. first time working for more than a few weeks, first time working as a promoter, first time selling electrical appliances (i have gained a little more knowledge about certain things :), first time meeting my colleagues of many races :) it wasn't easy at first, considering i have no background in the electrical line and had not undergone any training whatsoever, but by God's grace and lots of help and kindness from the people around me, it was a good experience at the end of the day. i've me some pretty interesting people on the way too, fellow workers and customers too. i thank God :)

after the whole work stint, i've started appreciating and enjoying my break a lot more :)

in april, we had lots of preparations for Easter, helped out with props and a small part of the presentations. i am reminded of the painful ransom Christ paid for our salvation and am ever grateful.

For Christ's love compels us,

because we are convinced that one died for all,

and therefore all died.

And He died for all,

that those who live should no longer live for themselves

but for Him who died for them and was raised again.

So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view.

Though we once regarded Christ in this way,

we do so no longer.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ,

he is a new creation;

the old has gone, the new has come!

All this is from God,

who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:

that God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ,

not counting men's sins against them.

And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation.

We are therefore Christ's ambassadors,

as though God were making His appeal through us.

We implore you on Christ's behalf:

Be reconciled to God.

God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us,

so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.

As God's fellow workers we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain.

For He says,

"In the time of my favor I heard you,

and in the day of salvation i helped you."

I tell you,

now is the time of God's favor,

now is the day of salvation.

2 Corinthians 5:14-6:2

i was very blessed and inspired by this portion of scripture. and i pray that my life, words and actions have been a light to the people around me. and i hope that i would not just commit this passage to memory in my head, but that i will write it upon my heart and live it out in my life. truly saying, "for Christ's love compels me..."

apart from that, i went to sarawak with my dad about a week ago :)

my first time flying in a plane; AirAsia to Sarawak and MAS Airlines back. i love take off's and landings and the clouds around me.

we stayed on my dad's student's farm and plucked fruits from the trees and ate them. we went fishing at their ponds on the first day, and i caught my very first haruan fish :) and it was pretty huge :D and we took it to the restaurant and had it cooked and it was yummy :)

yeahh :)

for the next two days, i just followed my dad and his student around looking at rocks and outcrops and rock formations. learned quite a lot of geological terms hanging around them though i am still not quite sure what exactly they were talking about. hmm.

i got to watch the rain come in for the first time, it's fast and it's pretty amazing. have never seen anything like that. i sat in a boat ride to Kapit on the Rejang River (longest river in malaysia) for the first time, and the river is HUGE and the water looks like teh tarik, even from the plane.

many other firsts in Sarawak, and enjoyed myself very much :)

coming back to PJ from East Malaysia, i am quite determined to learn Mandarin as i realized communication is vital. and my chinese language really cannot make it lorr :/

coming back, i realized how i've been so blessed in my life and i will try to live it to the fullest.

ohhh, i got struck by lightning for the first time in my life today! no kidding. and i thank God i'm alive. i think i should have some new super power now as a result of that, just that i haven't found out what it is yet :)

oh, and for the first time in a long time, my house has pretty much no entertainment. TV's struck dead by lightning and so is the modem and PC :/ so, currently, i'm in Old Town with YewMeng and SiehJin, using their free internet and drinking coffee. :) i guess it's time to do more reading now that there's no more computer and tv, good also lah.

goodnights! :)

unfolding plans

2010-02-09T01:53:00.004+08:00

"...For I know the plans I have for you,"

declares the Lord,

"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

when we were still in secondary school, we used to tell each other and encourage each other that God has so much in store for our lives, that He has the best plans for our lives and therefore, we should trust and obey Him. we wrote it in our letters, in our cards, in our notes to each other.

it was a comfort and an assurance that our future was in God's mighty hands, that despite how discouraging our current situations were, God had a plan.

that promise brought me through much during my school life; exams such as SPM and STPM, while serving in the CF in our school, through the tears and frustrations, and so much more. looking back, i really thank God for being there :)

i was just reading Acts 7 the other day. it was Stephen's speech to the Sanhedrin before he was stoned. and he was telling of how God had called Abraham in the beginning right up to how the people of that day had rejected Jesus as Savior.

and i was just thinking God called Abraham to leave his country and just go. and Abraham went. and God gave him a promise; that his descendants will be as numerous as the stars in the sky and the sands on the seashore and that nations will be blessed through them and that they will possess the land where Abraham was when he was given that promise. and it didn't take a few days or a few years for all that to come to pass, it took generations! that's a long long long time! but true enough God's plans unfolded. and every other story such as, Joseph's story, Moses' story, David's story, etc. all played a part in this unfolding plan of God, their stories and lives played a part in God's promise to Abraham and His plans.

so, anyway, i'm not here to tell the whole chronicles of the Israelites. you can read that up in the Bible.

but, what i'm trying to bring across here is that when God gives us promises, we have to be patient and obedient in it.

patient in waiting for God's timing for it to unfold. and it's not easy most of the time, we may get frustrated, discouraged, distracted, impatient. and i know that, because i've taken things into my own hands at times due to all of the above and have regretted it very much. so, wait, wait for God's perfect timing.

obedience isn't easy most of the time too. sometimes, these plans that God has, well they require us to let go of certain things and do certain things we logically won't do. but isn't it worth it? God knows what's best. will we be trusting and bold enough to take a risk for what's best than to have something that is just safe? we only live once. i struggle with obedience too, a lot! i'm pretty timid, won't say i'm a risk taker. but if God says to do something, don't you think it's worth it even though it sounds illogical? because i believe that God knows what He's doing.

so yeah, time we start living out these plans God has for our lives. time to be obedient when we hear His voice. it is no longer just an assurance for the future or a thing in store for years to come, but it is for now. His promises and plans come to pass when we obey, that's when they unfold.

and know this, no matter how small or insignificant you may feel in this big world. we are part of God's bigger plan. we never really know entirely how we fit in, but we can make an impact wherever we are. each and everyone of us, is loved personally by God, we are significant to Him.

Lord, i know many times i mess up the plans you have for my life because i don't trust you or i think i know what to do. i've disobeyed you so many times, and i am sorry for that. teach me to be faithful and trusting, to not let my own human wisdom and wants get the better of me when it comes to obedience to you. thank you that despite me messing up, you still are faithful and sovereign and that is not the end of your plans. thank you for your love and grace. i love you.

and to GloriaChieng :) who is on her flight now to Perth, Australia.

thanks for being one of those friends who always encouraged me and reminded me that God has a plan for our lives. thanks for being my best friend and accountability partner. and remember, God has an amazing plan for your life! and as you go over there to Australia, live out that plan :) it's going to be so exciting! i love you and will miss you much! take care!

♥

batteries for the clock on the wall

2010-02-08T11:40:00.005+08:00

the title's just a reminder for me to get batteries for the clock in my room, which still ticks but inconsistently. i've woken up late in the noon and thought it was still 9am cause of the clock and slept really late thinking it was still 10pm at night. this is messing up my system. although, i cannot say i'm not enjoying my bumming days. they're truckloads of fun :D

currently it's going to be 12noon but the clock shows the time to be 7.15. :) boy, am i up early! heh.

ok, batteries for the clock.

apart from that, other reminders/goals for now.

`figure out what i want to do and apply for university, and where.

`find a part time job cause i want to earn money to go on a holiday.

`climb Mount Kinabalu in may *hopefully* therefore, i must train.

and definitely still on the list since i was in secondary school :)

`find my husband to marry! ♥ hehh, kidding.

for now. i wait till Chinese New Year comes.

and bake more cookies, bake more cookies :)

but i will give my life to win your heart ♥

2010-01-28T00:03:00.009+08:00

But I will give my life to win your heart

And I will tear apart my soul

I'll give away all I know to bring you home

For all that is true, for all of the way

With all of my life

You hold my heart, you have my love

You are my bride

- 'Desert Lands' by Trading Yesterday

every time i listen to this song,

it means so much to me because so much of it is true.

yet, i'm so amazed at how much God loves us,

how far He will go to bring us back, to redeem us.

`You traded our love for a life of desert lands

that's what we do, that's what i do.

how we go and trade God's love for so many other things. how we've traded it for riches, for power, for relationships that most times don't last, for pleasures, for so many other things that are not worth it in comparison to His great love.

things that turn our lives into a life of desert lands. it's painful, no doubt. dry, hot, lost.

yet He loves us still to give all to bring us back.

i'm touched, awed, amazed by this love.

a love so selfless, so sacrificing, so pure.

♥

thank you, Love.

because of You, there is reason and there is hope.

i love you.

cookies :)

2010-01-22T15:29:00.006+08:00

i baked chocolate chip cookies with my mom today :)

speaking of cookies,

this video cracks me up all the time! :D

om-nom-nom-nom...

so, how's your holidays so far?

2010-01-20T12:41:00.016+08:00

standard question for a girl with six months break :D

it goes along with,

"so, what are you doing now?"

followed by,

"so, what are you planning to do in the future?"

these questions keep coming. it get's a tad bit tiring sometimes. but oh well, they are conversational topics, i suppose.

i am not working, yet. (i think i will, i don't know. maybe.)

i am not hundred percently sure what i'm going to do in the future, though there is a vague idea.

i am enjoying my holidays and i am not bored of it, yet :)

so, here's a bit of what 2010 has been like for me, so far...

kicking it off with sushi in singapore :)

with sue ann and my cousin, lup peng. :)

it's something because...

singapore was my first time out of malaysia. hee.

and sushi isn't an everyday thing for me. so yeah.

when we got back from singapore,

we went for a gathering of ex-taman sea cf-ers and a few current ones :)

and the singapore four (us in the picture above) was reunited. hee.

was dead tired when i got home.

and then there was,

paul and dinah's wedding.

PPBC girls ♥

david, thank you!

you know for what ;) hee.

days followed with meet ups,

david, vei li, nick and i.

and also with a few high school friends for lunch :)

veili and yenli and kaylynn,

i'm missing you guys truckloads!

hopefully, "melbourne" materializes soon, real soon!

♥

brandon left for USA too :(

dear, brandon :)

i hope you're doing alright in USA-land.

we miss you much and you were such a funny funny guy.

take care and keep walking close to God.

the youths had a trip to bukit cahaya.

there was supposed to be cycling, but we walked the whole way.

and ice cream in the middle was soooo good :)

went for klang bak kut teh after that.

(my first time! i know, how un-malaysian can i get, right? there's always a first time for everything :)

we celebrated joanne's birthday

with food, wii and pictionary and talks till one in the morning :)

my arm was aching the next day due to wii tennis :(

went to genting with some friends. :)

loved the theme park and the cold weather.

and loved the rest we got there.

joanne and i slept lots, hahaha.

view from the cable car ride :)

i likes what my Creator does.

on the way back down.

celebrated khy li's 20th birthday :)

seriously, can't believe you're twenty already!

also a few shopping trips, sleepovers, walks at kiara with gloria, squash with JoanneHo and JoanneLim, and some other stuff here and there.

so that's 2010 so far.

enjoying your holidays?

yes :)

adventures

2010-01-02T14:36:00.004+08:00

hello :) lots have been happening. haven't had much time to update but truth is, sometimes... okay, most of the time... i'm too lazy to do so.

but anyway,

Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year!

can you believe it 2009 is over and a new year has just begun, again. 2009 was pretty tough *sigh* but God was there and in Him there was much hope and grace to get me through each and every situation. despite the tears, hurts, regrets, fears and all that, i knew in God i could trust. sometimes it was harder and sometimes it was easier. but 2009 taught me that i must always trust, trust in God that is.

it was pretty much an adventure, last year. not in the moving-around-physically-to-new-places sense, but more of walking into new things and experiences with God.

the adventure beginning with Him asking me to take His hand and just follow and walk along side Him. He taught me to stop looking at the world through my tainted and stained point of view and to look through His eyes. i'm still learning to do so and i don't find it easy to do, most of the time. the adventure continued, and i thank God for guiding me back when i strayed. sitting down with me when i was tired of the road. encouraging me and most of all assuring me of His love.

this adventure taught me a lot, tested my faith, broke me where i needed breaking, but most of all made me experience God even more in my life. without Him i am nothing.

even as i step into 2010, may there be even more adventures with the one i love. and may i walk close to Him all the way.

Lord, i commit this new year to you :)

oh, and i just got back from singapore :D my first time out of malaysia-land. i had truckloads of fun :) pictures are on facebook :D

singapore bunch ♥

teehee :)

one week since

2009-12-17T14:46:00.004+08:00

it's just been seven days since STPM ended. but it really feels like it has been longer. i don't know. must be all the going out and stuff, it gets tiring sometimes but i'm not complaining ;)

so far, i've...

went for a joy ride with RachealWong, BrandonLee, Yee and Mark. and ended up at Rachael's watching 200 Pounds Beauty till 3.30am.
helped CREST pack stuff for flood victims along with Jack, Kentrick, MichelleFoo and lots of other people :) it felt really good to say, "i just finished STPM, yesterday" :) whenever someone asks what i'm doing.
watched A Chirstmas Carol with JoanneHo and Sue Ann :) i liked it.
helped out with the kids' christmas party. :D it was truckloads of fun with a jungle theme and lots and lots of gummy candy which we got sick of because we overate :P the kids were super adorable, some dressed up in animal costumes and others having funky headgear :) they're precious!
sunday was Youth Sunday! Sue Ann led worship and God was really there :)
christmas practice and after that, shopping with Sue Ann and Sue Yin.
we went shooting star-gazing :) RachaelWong, MelissaSoon, AliciaSoon, Yew Leung and me. i saw two :) and that was lovely. it was a bit cloudy, but at least we saw a few :)
monday was our class outing to OneUtama :) almost all, except a few. we karaoked, and it was surprisingly cheap :) then Kentrick and i went jeans hunting, and we found good pairs :D
tuesday was a day out with Krystie to Sunway Pyramid. good time of catching up we watched The Princess and The Frog. i love love love Disney cartoons :)
later, we had a mahjong party at Jack's and after that i slept over at JoanneHo's. :) at last my mahjong hype has been satisfied. though i pretty much suck at it. ah wells.
there was dance practice for christmas. it's been so long since i've last danced.

and the plans for today...

meeting up with VeiLi, YenLi, KayLynn and LiFoong :) and then sleepover. and tomorrow we'll go shopping :)

oh, i'm currently in the process of cleaning up my room. it's so horribly messy! yeah, i've had one week to clean it up and i still haven't finished, yet.

Dear Lord,
even as i'm having so much to do with all the going outs and running abouts. i pray that i will still remain in You. i don't want to push You aside when things are going fine and coming back to You when stuff is falling apart. teach me to walk faithfully. and even as i close another chapter of my life, take me and guide me through this new journey.
i love You.

the end of this very dark tunnel...

2009-12-10T12:20:00.004+08:00

...and into sunshine!! :)

STPM is finished. enough said :)

thank you, God, for being there all the way!

thank you for being my refuge, my strength, my God in whom i trust.

Do Not Worry

2009-11-18T02:28:00.004+08:00

It's 2.30am. drank coffee to stay awake to study. ♥ coffee.

so anyway, this passage really encouraged me today.

Luke 12:22-33 (Do Not Worry)

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.

(ahh, all you people who 'live to eat' and fashionistas who thrive on the latest fashions.)

Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart is also.

how very apt for these moments before STPM and also the whole dilemma of what i'm going to do in the future. it's been quite worrying. and Jesus reminds us not to worry because our Father knows what we need and He is able to watch over us.

i say, humans tend to complicate things. we argue that we are not simple beings like ravens and lilies where we can just fly around and grow in some park. but even all this storing of material possessions and working for "success" is driven by our own human wants. wants to be better than others, wants to be in control of our lives, wants to have power, etc. when God has far greater plans for our lives. we're so valuable to Him, of course He'll take care of us!

But seek first His kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

what are we seeking for? what are chasing after? the eternal kingdom of God or the temporal treasures of the world?

i ask, whose kingdom am i seeking after? whose treasury am i storing in?

is it my own or God's?

For where your treasure is, there your heart is also.

where is my heart?

of course seeking after a kingdom that is not tangible and that is invisible to sight is not the easiest thing to do.

most people would want to touch and feel their ringgits, dollars, euros, etc. even seeing the digits in their bank accounts is tangible enough. people prefer cars, houses, jewelry, etc. compared to this "kingdom". they say, "what kingdom?"

it's faith. faith that there is a kingdom, God's kingdom. faith that we are storing our treasures there, treasures that do not perish. faith that we're not wasting our time. faith that God will provide in our lives.

Dear Lord, thank you for this reminder. thank you for providing all these years and for watching over me. thank you for your promises. thank you for giving me faith. i love you.

light & love

2009-11-15T04:31:00.008+08:00

yesterday was,

Yew Kong & Charity's wedding :)

time flies. too fast.

my big brother is now married.

and STPM is this week already.

but i thank God.

i thank God that He is there through every season of our lives.

through the growing up years, watching over us and shaping us to be what He wants us to be (when we let Him).

teaching us to trust and hold on to Him through the crazyy times.

the painful times.

the hopeless times.

the desperate times.

He was there and will be there.

He puts little reminders along the way,

to remind us of Him, His love and who we are in Him.

He loves us.

God loves me.

and that is what matters most.

i don't know how the post about the wedding turned into a post about God's presence in my life. hmm.

but anyway, yewkong's name means friend of light and charity's chinese name means true love.

light & love;

that's what God is to me. :)

familee.

now a little bit bigger :)

there's plenty of pictures :) but all in different cameras. will compile them together soon. i'm contemplating whether to go back on my little pledge to not facebook and just sign in to post up the pictures. hmmhmmhmm...

i don't have many of the newly-weds on this camera.

...

will post more up soon, promise.

but the promise has no due time in it. :P

and to miss inkkie,

Happy Sweet Sixteenth :)

you are precious and loved!

and despite them having their wedding on your birthday, i don't think they were trying to steal the limelight from you :)

*and your dress turned out purple in this picture! :D

we love you much.

i shall continue studying now.

oh, and people asking about STPM during the wedding and how my preps were coming along, was just really really potong on such a joyous occasion.

ah wells, it's a small talk thing.

keeping sane

2009-11-07T18:37:00.006+08:00

so, i promised not to go on facebook till stpm is over. and so far so good :)

i used to go on all in the name of "de-stressing". ending up looking through a million gazillion profiles and pictures, playing bejeweled, heh. and then realising, "ohmy! i wasted so much much much time!" :(

so, with one of my de-stress tools gone which was actually a distraction. i had to resort to something else, less time consuming yet with the same de-stressing effects :)

and i remembered what kept me sane through SPM. veggietales :) see it goes way back here.

so, today. i just watched three of my favorite ones :) teehee. i love! ♥

it's pretty good timing. cause i come down, listen to a silly song, say to myself "times up!" and get back to the books. works pretty well and is only about five minutes at the maximum? :) i love my new de-stress tool. :D

Song of the Cebu :)

The Hairbrush Song

I Love My Lips

and...

Pirates Who Don't Do Anything

there's a lot more :) but these are my favorite ones.

oh, silly songs are so fun!

oh, and today a few of the Youths came and i got an STPM de-stress kit. haha, kitkat, biscuits, jelly, stress balls, sweets :) and prayer and encouragement.

i love you's :) thank you very much!

♥ taa!

steps

2009-11-06T19:02:00.013+08:00

today, as i sat on the steps.

i thought to myself,what am i doing?

where am i going?

am i right where God wants me to be.

or am i running by my own agenda?

is my life right before God?

or am i measuring it on my own scale?

everything's been overwhelming lately.

(heh, every time you don't know how to describe feelings and situations, categorize them under 'overwhelming'. general yet it says alot.)

yeah, life's been overwhelming.

but in the midst of it all, i question, how is my life being used by God?

Jesus was feeding the hungry, teaching the people, healing and doing miracles, driving out evil spirits. He was standing up for truth and going against the pharisees and teachers of the law. He was doing what the Father had in His heart.

so, i question. what am i doing?

am i standing up for truth, am i loving the needy, am i doing what he wants me to do?

or am i just living my days as they go by? turning my back to the people in need. judging others. keeping quiet to certain things that are not right, all in the name of tolerance, repect and the freedom of speech. letting injustice go on in front of me.

how can i? how can i break my Father's heart this way?

which steps am i walking in? whose steps am i following?

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.'

Psalm 139:23-24

seach me, O Lord.

kids' shampoo

2009-11-04T23:54:00.004+08:00

one day when yewmeng was bathing in the bathroom upstairs :)

we had this conversation across bathroom doors.

yewmeng | waiyan

ehh, you're using the lavender soap i bought. nice right? :)

mmm, okaylah. eh, you using the kids' shampoo ar?

yeah, but i don't like it :( nice meh?

nice...go into my eyes not pain.

-.-"

can squirt into my eyes also not pain.

he's so weird.

but,

i love him lah :)

messy genes

2009-11-02T12:23:00.003+08:00

i know where i got my affinity for messiness from. my dad :)

was supposed to get my passport *grins* done today BUT there was a huge crowd there. so, we'll be going again tomorrow, earlier.

followed my dad to his office in UM and his office was really a mess. like a hurricane ran through or something. but i have no qualms about it, i'm kind of okay with messes.

:) i love my daddy and am glad he's home.

okay, back to the books. pfft.