Monday, May 12, 2008

finishing it

tomorrow, i'll be leaving once again to Kelantan for National Service.

yes, i am completing it right till the end, hopefully, even though i could easily excuse myself with the reason of going back for form 6. and yes, i am really going back for form 6 after i finish my national service.

so let me share a bit of how NS has been so far. well, it's had its fair share of ups and downs. there's been loads of new things i've learned, experiences i wouldn't have found elsewhere, people i do not regret having known. well, there are also times when i really miss home and wished i was home. i've been in situations that seem so messy and tangled up. moments where i just want to give up. i've met people with all kinds of characters and attitudes.

but at the end of the day, when i reflect back, it has always been God who has been with me through the ups and the downs. He blesses me with the happy times and friends who care. He is my encouragement and guide in my sticky situations. He's my comfort when i feel broken and lonely. God has truly been so real to me in the past months.

and now i shall return back there, for the purpose for which He has called me too. that is to be a light there. i admit that my light there hasn't been as bright as it could have been and it has been a disappointment to me, but i continue to hope and pray that God will use my life there, for the weeks that are left, to be used as His tool in His plans.

Salt and Light (Matthew 5:13-16
You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.
You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Lord, teach me to be salt and light to the people around me.
sometimes, it's just so hard to love those who've hurt me but Lord, teach me to love them with your love. because i know, you didn't just die for the lovable and easy to get along with people, but you died for each and every person here.
thank you, Lord for bringing me through so much and i pray i will continue to walk close to you.

till i see you again in june :) i'm going to finish it.