Saturday, October 29, 2011

Life Sdn Bhd 7: REFUGEES

went for this on Friday night with Elaine, Joanne and Timothy. 
*the monorail on friday evenings/nights is a bad idea!
met Yew Kong and Charity, Jared, Jai, Elisabeth, Esther and Venn there.

listened to stories from the refugees.
listened to their heart cries and desires.
listened to their struggles, their fears.
listened to their hopes and dreams.
admired their strength, courage and perseverance.

i thought about the refugee kids i taught during the break,
i missed them.
i missed their singing and laughter.
i missed teaching them.

"Refugees are human too. I am human too,"
she said.

have we taken for granted what it is to be human?
and in doing so, have we forgotten how to treat others as human? 

Friday, October 21, 2011

are you okay?

"not okay."
*starts to cry*

precisely how i want to react to anyone who asks me that question at this moment. 

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

another goodbye

Last of my grandparents gone home to be with the Lord.

Bye, Poh-Poh.

I remember how you used to wait for us to come back to Ipoh for visits. You'd be waiting at the window and when you saw our car, you'd get excited.

I remember we had to speak loudly to you cause you were deaf and could not hear us. You used to wear a hearing aid but after some time in your old age, you didn't wear it anymore.

I remember how you made your way around, room to room, in little steps, clinging on to door frames and chairs for support. Your fall many years back did that to you.

I remember that before we left, we would all hug you one by one.
And the last time was when we went back to see you after Mah-Mah's funeral, about two months ago.

I hope you're happy in heaven now. And one day, I hope I shall meet you there too.

Chinese New Year 2011

In God, we are comforted. In God we hope.

Monday, October 10, 2011

what are you afraid of?

I am starting to do a book entitled ‘Praying for Purpose for women’ Smile a birthday gift from Joshua Chin when I was 18 years old. I believe it was quite timely for me to start the book at this time. Life’s been non-stop since university started Eye rolling smile been very busy and am growing weary, feeling pretty lost and frustrated many times.

And as I type all this out, I’m going to try to be as honest as I can be. I am fully aware that there are a ton of flaws and imperfections in me, to the point it is called “ugly”. But I hear, acknowledging it is the first step to change, painful and humbling steps.

The question today was “What are you afraid of?”

Two things:
1. Failure
2. Disappointing others and God

And that’s simply what I’ve been facing. A lot of things not going my way, things in the “could have been better” state, regret, letting others down, disappointing others and myself. It’s been so frustrating Sad smile

Makes me question, “Am I a people pleaser kind of person?” I think to a certain extent I am. I’ve always wanted to prove myself for something since I was young having struggled with many “Who am I?” questions at one point. Achievements were something I sub-consciously chased after. Certain events made me realize this, such as when I found myself being quite upset over the so-so results I obtained for STPM. Through many of those times, I found God’s grace and love telling me I need not prove anything to Him, for He loved me for who I am, who He created me to be. Many times, I found myself in His comfort finding my worth and purpose in Him when the circumstances around me told me otherwise. Thank you, God.

At twenty one, I still struggle with myself. I still look at expectations and shudder, yet I still do what I am expected to do till the point where I just do it for the sake of doing it. I’m not sure where this will take me. I think I need to start to take some steps back and look at it all from a distance again and ask, “Why am I doing this?”

I want to be a God pleaser, not a people pleaser. I want my life to be lived for His will and His purposes not the will and expectations of man on me.

God, teach me and grant me Your strength to face my fears and begin to live a life of victory for You.

The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged. – Deuteronomy 31:8
Remind me; it’s not about me, it’s ALL about God.

Monday, October 3, 2011

touch my heart, Lord, speak to me

If You can use anything, Lord
You can use me
If You can use anything, Lord
You can use me
Take my hands, Lord
And my feet
Touch my heart, Lord
Speak to me
If You can use anything, Lord
You can use me
-Use Me

Here comes Week 4 :\ Convo week, convo dinner, college this and that, assignments, ... I can cry T.T But no, I shall not despair instead I shall place my trust and hope in God! This weekend I learned about JUSTICE, MERCY, GRACE and THANKSGIVING. Got some tips and guidelines on how to live life a little better.

Now, it's all about implementation. Let's see how the coming week goes :) 

Open my ears and my heart to listen to what You are saying. Open my eyes to see what You are wanting to show me. Lord, this week, speak to me.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

the thing that keeps me going.
knowing that it's worth it.
believing it'll make a difference.

My hope is in the Lord.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Romans 12:12


on a totally unrelated note,
i want to travel the world :)
go on a trip to somewhere, anywhere.