A brand new month :) It's been quite a journey and I'm very excited for what God has in store in the coming days :) This song truly reflects my heart's desire and hope.
Be Thou My Vision
Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart; Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art Thou my best Thought, by day or by night, Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.
Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word; I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord; Thou my great Father, I Thy true son; Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.
Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight; Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight; Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower: Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.
Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise, Thou mine Inheritance, now and always: Thou and Thou only, first in my heart, High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.
High King of Heaven, my victory won, May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun! Heart of my own heart, whatever befall, Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.
So, I'm flying off to Korea tomorrow! Wow, that's fast :\
In the past two weeks, I ended my teaching practice. It was bittersweet. Learnt a lot being in the school for about eight weeks (two weeks of Raya break do not count, haha) but there seems to be so much more to learn too. Was very touched by the efforts of my students in saying their goodbyes. I'll miss you, girls :)
Fellow Trainees :)
Had a family dinner on Monday - farewell for Yew Leung and I + Birthday celebration for Yew Meng and Sieh Ping + Celebration for Yew Kong's thesis successes (speaking and writing) I'm going to miss home :)
Tuesday was debriefing and reflection in UM about our teaching practice. Insightful and inspiring :) It was good to see everyone again. We laughed, told stories, encouraged each other and for Vindy and I bid farewell to our beloved coursemates. Had a makan-makan with Dr Visha and the Moral bunch :)
Dr Visha, Hanan and Vindy :)
With Shikin and Kat :D
All together now :D
Banana leaf - Yay! :)
Also got to meet up with Huey Lin, Jared and Ernest at The Grind :) It was good hearing from the working and the fresh graduates. I felt like a kid :P
Huey Lin, your perseverance and work inspires me. And when you ask, "So, what can we do?" It reminds me to keep asking that question too. Jared Koh, thank you for sharing and challenging us to become missionaries, teachers, politicians, people who make a difference. hope you get your call one day! heheheh. Ernest Lee, thank you for journeying with me and always showing me what it is to put love into action. Keep doing that, keep reminding yourself that God's call is better than what the world expects you to do/earn/be.
*To these who inspire and encourage me to make a difference in this broken world*
SWEEPers :)
Favorite boy in the whole wide world! :D
Today, we went back to the refugee school for awhile. I missed the kids. :) Hugs and high fives given. And was reminded at the end of the day how blessed I am to have Ernest in my life, such a BIIGG heart he has! :) Ernest, thank you for being patient, understanding and loving towards a broken, sometimes confused and often times confusing girl. I love you.
So anyway, all my bags are packed...
*starts singing*
All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
...
Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane (aeroplane)
Don't know when I'll be back again (9th January 2013)
See you soon :) Hope I'll blog more when I'm there!
Do my actions, word, attitudes, thoughts, feelings, choices, etc. reflect what I sing so passionately in this song? Or are the words just confined to good music and are mere lyrics of the song?
as i look back, i see His steadfast love always always in my life. i don't have to look very far back, the previous few days is enough to remind me that God knows me inside out - my gifts, my strengths, my weaknesses, my failures and flaws, my hurts, my struggles, my needs, my desires, my imperfections, my beauty (which sometimes i don't see it), my everything - and despite the whole mumbo jumbo and complicated intricacies of what makes me waiyan, He still loves me. i've been using this word over and over again - humbled.
Your love never fails
It never gives up
It never runs out on me
One Thing Remains (Jesus Culture)
i think one thing about loving people is taking time to figure them out, taking the time to know them and even in the midst of not understanding, staying beside them while they try to do that. Ernest does a lot of this with me. i feel like i'm going through another bout of identity crisis -.- and i'm already twenty-two! oh gosh. haha. it scares me a lot of times, being so unsure and confused about who i am. i'm not usually like that, but things happen that make you stop and wonder, why?
i find it such an amazing thing how God always assures me of who i am in Him when i come to Him with my load of questions and searches. like in the midst of not understanding, He reminds me with a rainbow that He loves me unconditionally. He speaks to me through His word and as we pray. He reminds me of His promises and covenants and gives me new ones. it's a love that is beyond me. beyond my very minute human comprehension. it's perfect.
Ernest and i have got a long way to go. our love will never be perfect cause we're both human and fallen, but we rest assured knowing our God is sovereign and above all. and may we learn to love each other like how the Bible teaches us to love, not the way chick flicks and romantic movies, secular music, Nicholas Spark books portray love to be. :P those are really idealistic and unreal examples to take for your love life, just saayingg. and plus, the kingdom of God and what is eternal is far more important than just the two of us. like we always say, we're part of God's bigger picture.
i pray that in the new year to come, i will invest my life and my love in the eternal things of God :) it's worth it. and not with my own imperfect and inadequate human love, but i pray that my source to love others will be from God. that He will teach me to love like how He loves.
i had one of the best semester breaks last week, one of the best weeks of my life :)
it's been over two months since i last saw Ernest in person and so this one week together was something i really looked forward to. there were quite a number of change of plans, but i guess things still turned out good :)
we did a lot of travelling together :) and i loved it! but poor guy was the driver while i sat comfortably in the passenger seat :\ it was a lot of long talks during those long drives. singing along with the radio, sometimes falling asleep.
this song "Carry On" by F.U.N. was played about fifteen or more times during our trip. jadilah our trip's theme song.
i got to spend some time with his family in his hometown, Tanjung Malim. met his friends here and there. went for my first Deepavali open houses :) went back to the refugee school with Ernest. which brought back a lot of memories for me :) and reminded me what a great man i am blessed with :) met Joshua Johnson who says he was the one who matched us up way back in SWEEP. :| haha.
he brought me to tour his hometown and then brought me back to his campus in Nibong Tebal, Penang. met more of his uni friends who i find to be very funny and who made me feel at home :) we went night running. had talks on the sidewalk. i fell into a hole in the ground right in front of Ernest :\ must have been a little over-excitement :P
we went to Penang and explored a bit. ditched our hiking plans and decided to enjoy the beach at a hotel. it was so serene, so perfect. i always loved the sea. :) met more friends for lunch and changed plans again and decided to head back to campus. dinner again that night with his friends. two tomyam places were closed, so we settled for steamboat. assignments at night :| and was so tired we decided to do face masks in the car at 2 am :|
the next day was the day before our run. went over to Penang island again and met up with Phang Carmen. went for dinner with more of his friends who were also going for the marathon, at Kapitan which has awesome tandoori chicken with briyani rice. and headed over to Isaac's place for the night. got ready at about 1 am for the run. this was actually the reason for the trip, our half marathon on the Penang bridge.
Penang bridge half-marathon (21km), we finished in about 3 hours 11 minutes, okaylahh. considering our training was like... it was quite an experience, i must say. Ernest and i ran together most of the way, until the last kilometer.
tadaa :) finisher!
:)
next run, we'll finish it together kay :)
there's a next run?
after the run, got back to Isaac's place all aching and sticky and smelly. took our baths and everyone konked out for a few hours. watched Pitch Perfect and after that we just went here and there, till it was time for me to go back home. kinda decided on that that night. was actually really heavy hearted to leave though :(
i guess, it's the distance and how much i miss him. and also that coming back meant a crazy workload (which was brought upon myself with my "amazing" time management.) but no regrets on the break. it was worth it :)
If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on
- Carry On, F.U.N.
like in a reaaaallyyy long marathon or journey, i guess life's like that. there'll be the really tiring and low times, where our whole body just wants to give up. we may take a rest, but we don't stop. we carry on with perseverance and hope in God. now, go carry on. and may God be with you! :)
Through Christ - Donna Lasit, Generation Unleashed
I can do all things through Christ I can move a mountain if you Are the strength of my life I can do all things through Christ If you are the strength of my life
then He said to me, "Chase after Me, It's time to RUN!"
There is a time and season for everything. As I look back, I begin to see clearer the season God has brought me through and even now, as I look ahead and am not entirely sure what is to come, but I know that these are crucial, urgent and exciting times. It's time to run. Time to run with the Lord.
Global Day of Prayer on Sunday brought me back to a point of humility and brokenness. Oh, how far we've gone from the original purpose and call of the church. How we've been so busy and caught up with our own business we have forgotten the Kingdom. My prayer is that God would once again humble and break me, and that this life be not mine to claim but His to use. Lord, humble and unite your church. Forgive us, Lord. Forgive me.
I want to run after You, run with You and run by Your strength and Spirit.
Verse 1: It doesn't matter where I run, You're there for me It doesn't matter what I've done, Your loves for me You wipe away the tears, You lift me when I fall My life is safe by the mercy of Your grace Verse 2: It doesn't matter where I go, You walk with me It doesn't matter when I fall, You cover me You wipe away the tears, You lift me when I fall My life is safe by the mercy of Your grace Chorus: You are my Father, Provider You're my Deliverer Your mercies embrace me, surround me Through Your everlasting love Father I worship You Father I worship You Bridge: And Your love is for me And Your love is for me And Your love is forever
...
i don't understand it fully but i'm experiencing it bit by bit GRACE
Here comes Week 4 :\ Convo week, convo dinner, college this and that, assignments, ... I can cry T.T But no, I shall not despair instead I shall place my trust and hope in God! This weekend I learned about JUSTICE, MERCY, GRACE and THANKSGIVING. Got some tips and guidelines on how to live life a little better.
Now, it's all about implementation. Let's see how the coming week goes :)
Open my ears and my heart to listen to what You are saying. Open my eyes to see what You are wanting to show me. Lord, this week, speak to me.
In the presence of Your Majesty -Majesty, Delirious
Indeed, despite all my flaws and inabilities, You are still King of kings and Lord of lords. Despite my downfalls and shortcomings, Your grace reaches out to me. Despite my struggles and times of weakness, I am found alive in You.
But He said to me,
"My grace is sufficient for you,
for my strength is made perfect in weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:9
Lord, You make all the difference, Your love and presence make all the difference. And I know this is true because You are Majestic. Thank You.
woke up this morning with this song playing in my head.
such a beautiful reminder of how i am saved by His grace and loved by God.
nothing else can save but only by the blood of Jesus.
it means so much to me because so much of it is true.
yet, i'm so amazed at how much God loves us,
how far He will go to bring us back, to redeem us.
`You traded our love for a life of desert lands
that's what we do, that's what i do.
how we go and trade God's love for so many other things. how we've traded it for riches, for power, for relationships that most times don't last, for pleasures, for so many other things that are not worth it in comparison to His great love.
things that turn our lives into a life of desert lands. it's painful, no doubt. dry, hot, lost.
yet He loves us still to give all to bring us back.
i'm touched, awed, amazed by this love.
a love so selfless, so sacrificing, so pure.
♥
thank you, Love.
because of You, there is reason and there is hope.
so, i promised not to go on facebook till stpm is over. and so far so good :)
i used to go on all in the name of "de-stressing". ending up looking through a million gazillion profiles and pictures, playing bejeweled, heh. and then realising, "ohmy! i wasted so much much much time!" :(
so, with one of my de-stress tools gone which was actually a distraction. i had to resort to something else, less time consuming yet with the same de-stressing effects :)
and i remembered what kept me sane through SPM. veggietales :) see it goes way back here.
so, today. i just watched three of my favorite ones :) teehee. i love! ♥
it's pretty good timing. cause i come down, listen to a silly song, say to myself "times up!" and get back to the books. works pretty well and is only about five minutes at the maximum? :) i love my new de-stress tool. :D
Song of the Cebu :)
The Hairbrush Song
I Love My Lips
and...
Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
there's a lot more :) but these are my favorite ones.
oh, silly songs are so fun!
oh, and today a few of the Youths came and i got an STPM de-stress kit. haha, kitkat, biscuits, jelly, stress balls, sweets :) and prayer and encouragement.
been running through our old songs on the computer, stuff my brother downloaded over 5 years back.
and this song played. i like it :)
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
- crash and burn, savage garden
videos pretty, umm, interesting :) i like.
i like his blue eyes, i like his sign-language at the end too. i like the quotes. i like the lyrics. i like this video, pretty much :) you like?
with STPM just around the corner, this song is veryrelate-able!
on a lighter note, daddy's back from UKland :)
after four long months. sigh :)
thank God he's home safely!
besides all that, God has been really faithful and graceful and He has some pretty awesome timing. His surprises are really timely, really timely. He sent the right people into my life at the right times.
thank You, Lord ♥
thank You for always being with me,
every single time i crash and burn.
for breaking my fall and encouraging me to get up again.
what would i ever do without You?
i love you.♥
listening to savage garden songs makes me so emo :( teehee.
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