Monday, December 31, 2012

it never gives up

final day of twentytwelve. wow.

as i look back, i see His steadfast love always always in my life. i don't have to look very far back, the previous few days is enough to remind me that God knows me inside out - my gifts, my strengths, my weaknesses, my failures and flaws, my hurts, my struggles, my needs, my desires, my imperfections, my beauty (which sometimes i don't see it), my everything - and despite the whole mumbo jumbo and complicated intricacies of what makes me waiyan, He still loves me. i've been using this word over and over again - humbled.

Your love never fails
It never gives up
It never runs out on me
One Thing Remains (Jesus Culture)

i think one thing about loving people is taking time to figure them out, taking the time to know them and even in the midst of not understanding, staying beside them while they try to do that. Ernest does a lot of this with me. i feel like i'm going through another bout of identity crisis -.- and i'm already twenty-two! oh gosh. haha. it scares me a lot of times, being so unsure and confused about who i am. i'm not usually like that, but things happen that make you stop and wonder, why?

i find it such an amazing thing how God always assures me of who i am in Him when i come to Him with my load of questions and searches. like in the midst of not understanding, He reminds me with a rainbow that He loves me unconditionally. He speaks to me through His word and as we pray. He reminds me of His promises and covenants and gives me new ones. it's a love that is beyond me. beyond my very minute human comprehension. it's perfect.

Ernest and i have got a long way to go. our love will never be perfect cause we're both human and fallen, but we rest assured knowing our God is sovereign and above all. and may we learn to love each other like how the Bible teaches us to love, not the way chick flicks and romantic movies, secular music, Nicholas Spark books portray love to be. :P those are really idealistic and unreal examples to take for your love life, just saayingg. and plus, the kingdom of God and what is eternal is far more important than just the two of us. like we always say, we're part of God's bigger picture.

i pray that in the new year to come, i will invest my life and my love in the eternal things of God :) it's worth it. and not with my own imperfect and inadequate human love, but i pray that my source to love others will be from God. that He will teach me to love like how He loves.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.
But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13

Thank You, God, for loving me. I love You.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

grace upon grace

i survived week fourteen! praise the Lord and all glory to God :)

my last assignment was handed up by 5pm on friday :) it was quite a mad week with all the deadlines and procrastinated work coming all at once. self-inflicted stress though, i should have started on them assignments earlier :\ i always say that. *sigh*

i really thank God for the encouragement, care and love He brought through the various people in my life. couldn't have done it without the help and support from them. Deborah for praying with me daily, Lydia for super fast internet (hehe) and her love to us, Joyce for her smses, Ernest for always being there, Shalini who loved me throughout our tough times with our coursework, Elaine for praying, Timothy for the small gestures that showed his concern, and many more others :) 

i really felt so blessed throughout the week and to reach the end alive, i am thankful. my body gave in to the lack of rest pretty soon after that and i am just thankful not before i finished week fourteen. came down with quite a bad case of food poisoning :( which isn't good because of all the christmas dinners we've been having :|

but this year, i am really thankful for the people in my life. i think that was my lesson most of the time this year. of how i've taken a lot of my relationships for granted, how i could be a better friend, sister, daughter to others, how i need to be more sensitive and loving to people. i am just struck, amazed and humbled by the grace and second chances i've been shown and given cause i really really don't deserve it. 

christmas this year has been meaningful. i'm not caught up with doing a lot. wasn't involved in any performances or caroling in church, wasn't doing decorations or helping out with christmas parties, didn't have the time to shop and wrap gifts for everyone either. in short, it wasn't christmas like the usual years but it felt warm as i spent time with loved ones. didn't spend it with many many many people, just a handful of people who i loved and who loved me. and that made my christmas meaningful and warm. 

and over and over, i am reminded of the true meaning of christmas. Jesus Christ coming to save a world from sin. He didn't have to, but He did because He loved each person. He loved us and so He came down to be with us. Immanuel - God with us. we never deserved it, but He still chose to love. that grace and love humbles me, i want to have such a love towards others because i've experienced it in my life.

so much ramblings from me. i'll try to put up more pictures soon but anyway, 
blessed christmas!

The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, 
and they will call him Immanuel (which means "God with us").
Matthew 1:23

Wednesday, December 12, 2012


Finished my old journal and am beginning a new one :)
There's something about starting new journals that I love. It's like having a fresh start. It always feels like there is something hopeful and exciting in store. But I'm sure that along the way, life's truths along with its fair share of heartaches, prayers and praises, will be the stories written on these pages. As I read back on the things penned in my previous journals, I am just so amazed by how real God is in my life. And as I continue to journal bits and pieces of my life, I thank God that He is the great author of my life story who is still working on my unfinished story :) I am excited for the journeys and adventures that are to come knowing that my life is in His keeping. 

The Lord will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.
Psalm 121:8

May you, wherever you are, experience great adventures and wonderful journeys with God :) goodnight!

Monday, December 10, 2012

lay down my pride

Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. 
All of you, clothe yourselves with humility towards one another, because,
"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."
1 Peter 5:5

The weekend hasn't been the best :\ I struggled with a lot of unpleasant emotions towards others and myself. I didn't understand and when I asked God, there didn't seem to come relief. I was tired, broken, defeated and still very bitter towards certain people around me. I really didn't like me :(

Then it dawned upon me on the dawn of Monday (heehee :P), I struggled because of my pride. I found it so hard to say I was sorry and admit that I was wrong because I wanted to be right. I wanted others to acknowledge that I was right, and when they didn't, it upset me.

Pride only breeds quarrels, 
but wisdom is found in those who take advice.
Proverbs 13:10

I look back on the situations, and I regret. I'm sorry for being rude and cold. I'm sorry for hurting the people around me, for distancing myself from others, not giving anyone a chance to understand. I really want to change my ways and my attitude, I want to be a humble person. A person who is brave and courageous enough to lay down my pride and give up my rights.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time.
Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6-7

Because I have a God who is mighty and sovereign, I know that as I humble my life before Him, He will take care of me. I don't have to fight for my rights or strive to gain achievements and glory for myself, I don't have to have things in my life to boast about. I don't have to worry or fear if I'll be enough or have enough in this world. At the end of the day, I have nothing in my life that is not God given. And even then, my greatest treasure is God. :)

Riches I heed not nor man's empty praise;
Thou mine inheritance now and always;
Thou and thou only first in my heart;
High King of Heaven my treasure thou art.

May my life from here on be one that pleases God and that gives glory and praise unto Him. May it be one that is marked with humility and that is not proud. May I be one who lives for God. 

Wai Yan, remember:
God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

mad weekend into december

not like we have snow or white christmas-es here in malaysia. but, this picture is beautiful :)

it's been an amazing week and weekend. helped Charity a bit for Christmas Tapestry the preparations and the shows on Friday and Saturday night :) which was lovely! it was quite a new experience for me and i learned a lot. the people involved, singers, musicians, technical crew, were all so humble and friendly and very helpful to this girl who has never dabbled in a production before.

Tapestry doing their thing :)
i also met the cutest kids during one of the practices - Douglas and Lucas :) it was pretty alright until the boys started to have disagreements over their dad's ipad and then my laptop. :\

this was lucas and i entertaining ourselves while the singers were practicing.  such a charming kid!
we had softball tournament for SUKMUM on Saturday and Sunday  and we won 3rd place :D i really enjoyed being on the softball team and it was such a great feeling when we won because some of us on the team started with zero idea how the game worked (well, for me at least). apart from that, the support, encouragement and teamwork of the team was really great :) even with my lousy batting, i still felt a part of the team :)

with the 1st College team and umpire for the game :) we love good sports!
i missed the semi-finals softball game though cause i had to run off for the Christmas Tapestry thing on Saturday. wish i could have been at both. but i have no regrets about it lah. next time, i'll just have to be wiser in choosing my commitments. :) i enjoyed both very very very much, don't get me wrong, but it gets tiring having to run here, there and everywhere.

this week, will be a lot of assignments and preparations for PKV's Christmas Caroling :) the coming weeks look very daunting and overwhelming, but i believe and trust that God will bring us through. He is the God who is the creator of all things and who is above all things. I will be still, know You are God.

And He awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, 
"Peace! Be Still!" 
And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. 
Mark 4:39

Christmas is coming! :D

Thursday, November 29, 2012

which means

November is ending,
which means
December is beginning,
which means
Christmas is coming,
which means
Holidays :D
which mean
the end of semester,
which means
assignment deadlines
which after that means
study break,
which also means
exams after :\
which then means
freedom when it's done :D
which before that means
a new year,
which means
the end of 2012,
which means
the fresh start of 2013
which means

I always say it's crazy how time flies :| but I thank God for each and every moment and second with Him. And in Him I know my days and times are secure in His hands. There will be crazy stormy confusing tiring and horrible days, but we can trust in the God, who is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, to bring us through what is to come. We need not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. 

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, 
for tomorrow will worry about itself. 
Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:34

Trust God and seek Him first.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

happy birthday :)

a bit late, but anyway...

Happy Birthday, Ernest Lee!

i love you :)
ngaawww :P


thank you for always being there for me :)
it's been quite a wonderful journey thus far;
of knowing you and then falling in love with you and now learning to love each other better.
may we continue to grow personally and together,
always having Christ at the center of it all.

may you always have your heart set upon God and the things of God, that He may continue to build you and shape you into the man He has intended for you to be and that He would use your life to reach out and touch many other lives. may He be your strength and peace in all that you do and know that His grace is sufficient for you. His love never fails.

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
He is my fortress I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God;
He is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
pour our your hearts to Him,
for God is our refuge.
Psalm 62:5-8

God is our refuge, stay strong in Him.

with lotsa lotsa lotsa love,

(23rd November 2012)

Thursday, November 22, 2012

carry on

i had one of the best semester breaks last week, one of the best weeks of my life :)

it's been over two months since i last saw Ernest in person and so this one week together was something i really looked forward to. there were quite a number of change of plans, but i guess things still turned out good :)

we did a lot of travelling together :) and i loved it! but poor guy was the driver while i sat comfortably in the passenger seat :\ it was a lot of long talks during those long drives. singing along with the radio, sometimes falling asleep.

this song "Carry On" by F.U.N. was played about fifteen or more times during our trip. jadilah our trip's theme song.

i got to spend some time with his family in his hometown, Tanjung Malim. met his friends here and there. went for my first Deepavali open houses :) went back to the refugee school with Ernest. which brought back a lot of memories for me :) and reminded me what a great man i am blessed with :) met Joshua Johnson who says he was the one who matched us up way back in SWEEP. :| haha.

he brought me to tour his hometown and then brought me back to his campus in Nibong Tebal, Penang. met more of his uni friends who i find to be very funny and who made me feel at home :) we went night running. had talks on the sidewalk. i fell into a hole in the ground right in front of Ernest :\ must have been a little over-excitement :P

we went to Penang and explored a bit. ditched our hiking plans and decided to enjoy the beach at a hotel. it was so serene, so perfect. i always loved the sea. :) met more friends for lunch and changed plans again and decided to head back to campus. dinner again that night with his friends. two tomyam places were closed, so we settled for steamboat. assignments at night :| and was so tired we decided to do face masks in the car at 2 am :|

the next day was the day before our run. went over to Penang island again and met up with Phang Carmen. went for dinner with more of his friends who were also going for the marathon, at Kapitan which has awesome tandoori chicken with briyani rice. and headed over to Isaac's place for the night. got ready at about 1 am for the run. this was actually the reason for the trip, our half marathon on the Penang bridge.

Penang bridge half-marathon (21km), we finished in about 3 hours 11 minutes, okaylahh. considering our training was like... it was quite an experience, i must say. Ernest and i ran together most of the way, until the last kilometer.

tadaa :) finisher!

next run, we'll finish it together kay :) 
there's a next run? 

after the run, got back to Isaac's place all aching and sticky and smelly. took our baths and everyone konked out for a few hours. watched Pitch Perfect and after that we just went here and there, till it was time for me to go back home. kinda decided on that that night. was actually really heavy hearted to leave though :( 

i guess, it's the distance and how much i miss him. and also that coming back meant a crazy workload (which was brought upon myself with my "amazing" time management.) but no regrets on the break. it was worth it :) 

If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on
- Carry On, F.U.N.

like in a reaaaallyyy long marathon or journey, i guess life's like that. there'll be the really tiring and low times, where our whole body just wants to give up. we may take a rest, but we don't stop. we carry on with perseverance and hope in God. now, go carry on. and may God be with you! :)

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

plugged in

"stay connected," 
He says to me.

I am the vine, you are the branches. 
If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit. 
Apart from Me, you can do nothing. 
John 15:5

back to the hustle and bustle of semester again. i'll write about semester break another time :) this was just a reminder to me today that i've got to stay connected to God in order to live life in His ways. my quiet time has been pretty inconsistent lately and the amount of work that i've got to do is kind of overwhelming. :( but God reminds me, to put Him first above all. nothing is more urgent or important than keeping this relationship plugged in and alive. Apart from Him, I can do nothing, I am nothing.

so, pray i survive this week and more importantly, stay connected to God. 

Monday, November 12, 2012

what i miss

I  miss home. I miss Dad and Mom. I miss Yew Kong and Charity and Panda the bunny. I miss Yew Meng. I miss Yew Leung. I miss Ernest, the boyfriend. I miss my secondary school days and friends. I miss netball and the team. I miss CF. I miss church. I miss camps. I miss my grandparents. I miss my loved ones who have passed away. I miss Ipoh. I miss my roommates. I miss those days in Kelantan in NS. I miss school holidays. I miss sleepovers. I miss Saturday mornings and cartoons. As much as I didn't like it then, I miss scouting and the troop. I miss prayer gatherings. I miss studying in church. I miss dancing. I miss my family. I miss friends I've drifted apart from. I miss friends who are far away. I miss the beach, I miss the mountains, I miss the waterfalls, I miss the jungles. I miss the adventures. I miss the children. I miss travelling. I miss fishing. I miss hiking. I miss my childhood. I miss my teenage years. I miss the excitement. I miss the chasing. I miss the crazy fun random times. I miss the discovery. I miss carefree days. I miss a lot of people, a lot of times, a lot of things, a lot of places, a lot.

The world changes. Familiarity fades, but then the new things in life take that position after a while. It keeps us moving forward, keeps us extending our boundaries, keeps us going. Sometimes we look back and we miss the old. But I say to me,"Set your eyes on things above and not on the things of the earth..." because the person I miss most is my Lord, Jesus ChristAnd I await to see Him when He returns.

Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.
Colossians 3:2

Saturday, November 10, 2012


i have this thing for number combinations :) and for the longest time since i found out that the 10th of November 2012 was a Saturday, i have been saying i would make it my wedding day :P it'll be memorable :)

but 10-11-12 is here, and i am neither ready to get married nor am i planning to sign any papers or elope with any boy, so i guess the wedding's postponed :P

the next cool combinations are 12-12-12 but that's a Wednesday or 11-12-13 which is also a Wednesday. oh well, i guess i'll just get married when the time's right.

semester break is here :)

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

PAW :)

This is Paw :) He's a bear. Not a dog, a bear! :) He's the nicest bear to have around and a great travel buddy :) He's been to places to National Service in Kelantan with me, to Camp Camerons, church camps, Committee Planning Retreat (CPR), etc.

National Service in Kelantan
CPR in Melaka
Helping with the brainstorming :)
Paw airwalking in Camp Camerons 2012 :)
Joyce and Paw on the way to THE Camp 2012.
So anyway, we learned some new things from Paw in the recent PKV camp. :) This is how we reach out to our world. And how we should share the Good News :)

P - Prayer
A - Action
W - Word

Pray for the people around us because ultimately it is God who works in the hearts and lives of people. We can only do so much, God is the one who saves. Action by living out the word of God. When people see a difference in us - the way we live, the way we react in situations, the way we treat others - they will question WHY? And may that open the doors for us to share with words the amazing love of Christ to those around us :)

Well, Noah also suggested Praise And Worship. Can also lah :)

Ngaaaww, Paw is shhoooo cute :) Hee!


*runs to the bed and cuddles Paw*

Monday, November 5, 2012

T.H.E. Camp 2012

a little overdue. but better late than never :)

camp was God's grace right from the preparations before camp, during camp and right up till today. I pray that the fire still stays in our hearts and that it would burn brightly.

it was encouraging to see each person come and be a part of the camp. the camp committee really did a good job and i think God also opened the way as we trusted in Him. He provided a venue, provided the speaker, Pastor Daniel Tan, and most importantly, He called the people :) in about less than three weeks.

there were times of uncertainties and stress along the way; money, payments, sponsorship, pull outs, etc. but God proved to be sovereign over these things. no problem too big for Him :)

I enjoyed the fellowship with the people :) getting to know some better as well as strengthening the old friendships. there was a sense of unity and genuine relationships built. camps have that ability to bring people together :) and I pray that these friendships continue to grow throughout our uni years.

That's our theme for this year. N.O.W. It's to remind us of the urgent times we live in. Pastor Daniel did a great job with the sessions. He began with very fundamental things for our faith in the first session about "Hearing God's Voice". Because when we are in a two way communication with God personally and intimately, we will know His will. He gave very practical ways to this. First knowing how God speaks: through the Word of God, prayer, Holy Spirit, people, dreams and visions, circumstances, and sometimes in the audible voice :| (whoa, i wonder what that would be like). He taught us then how do we listen to God's voice? We need to take on the right postures: Seek, Surrender (humility), Silent (to listen), Stay (to wait and dwell in His presence) and to have hearts that are like good Soil (hearing and obeying the word).

The second session was about the Narrow Way which echoes our theme that there is no other way but through Christ. There's the Broad way and the Narrow way.
Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. 
Matthew 7:13-14 
It was a reminder that we cannot live our lives any way we want or do things just because the world is doing it. It meant living in Christ, following His word rather than the word of the world. Muuuch easier said than done, but we do not walk alone, nor do we walk by our own strength. God grants grace for us to finish the race, to walk this journey with Him. The narrow way is only possible through Christ :)

The third session was entitled "Disturb Us, Lord". It challenged us to live for a cause that is bigger than ourselves. To look beyond "me" and to look to God. When God disturbs us from our comfortable and safe lives, how do we respond? Taking the encounter of the first calling of the disciples in Luke 5:1-11, where Jesus came into the boat of Peter, taught the crowds from it and later told him to put out to sea and let down their nets for a catch after a loooong night of catching no fish. When Peter obeyed, they caught a crazy amount of fish. This opened his eyes and he fell at Jesus' feet knowing that Jesus was more than just a man. Jesus then calls Peter to follow Him and that He would make them fishers of men. Peter left all he had and followed Jesus. Our response, when God comes into our lives and rocks our boats is to start small - obey. Jesus came into their boats and told Peter to 'put out a little from land', God doesn't always come in all His glory with a mission impossible task right away to us. It's when we start obeying Him in the little things that He then gives us bigger tasks. He knows how much we can handle. We then need to go deep! Jesus told Peter to go deep and to let down their nets for a catch. Peter's answer was, "Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; nevertheless at your word word I will let down the net." He was listening to Jesus teaching the crowds prior to this and because of that, it gave him the faith to obey. We need the word of God in our lives, to convict us to go deeper than we normally would, to try again even after a whole night of catching nothing. The last thing is to surrender all. Right after catching the mother load of fishes, their eyes weren't fixed on their success, instead their eyes were fixed on Jesus. It was a reminder to us not to let our success take us away from God. Humility. So, start small, go deep, surrender all.

The final session was about How do we Shine? Pastor Daniel brought us back to the point and purpose of the church. He said the church is the hope for the world. The world can only see Jesus through us. No other way; only through us.
Let your light shine before all men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. 
Matthew 5:16 
How do we shine? Be genuine, let people see Christ in our lives. Don't just do things so that we can preach to them. Don't do things with ulterior motives. But love, because Christ first loved us. Love because that is what God calls us to do; to love God and to love others. Give what you have, not what you don't have. We'll never start if we keep saying, "Let me have this first, then I will..." or "I don't have anything to give." Give what you have :) God is able to provide for our needs. We need to stretch out our hands and lift others up. We need to touch lives, not just meet their physical needs. The human being is more than a body, it has a soul. People need acceptance and freedom for their souls. Lives are never transformed by silver or gold, but by the touching of the human soul. So, let's go and shine our lights. :) Pastor Daniel said, "You say 'turn on the light' and 'turn off the light' but no one says 'turn on darkness'. Light always conquers darkness. It's when the light doesn't shine, that's where darkness is."

Let your light shine :) We live in urgent times. May all who see our lights, come to God.

Dear God, thank You for camp, for Your word spoken and each and every person. Thank You for the work You have done in our lives. Help us to continue running the race and going through the narrow way with You and with the people You have brought alongside us. May we continue to spur and encourage one another until we reach our goal. You are our goal. Lord, I pray that we will have the same love and passion You have for others in our lives that we would see the world through Your eyes. Commit each one who was a part of T.H.E. Camp 2012 into Your hands and pray that You continue draw us close to You. In Jesus Name, Amen :)

Friday, October 19, 2012


Their pace was slow, unrushed, as they walked silently side by side. She was thinking of what she should say; He did not force her to say anything, just patiently waited.

She cleared her throat and broke the silence. “I’m sorry,” she said. She looked at Him from the corner of her eye to see if He responded.

He gave a gentle “mm” of acknowledgement. He wasn’t angry. Hurt probably, but He didn’t show it to make her feel bad.

“I don’t really know why I didn’t listen to you earlier…I just felt shy.”
“But it was just you, me and her.”
“I know…” she looked down at the ground ashamed.

Why had she acted that way? Why didn’t she just listen and do what He told her to? It was a simple thing, her friend would have understood.

“You know,” He said, “I was really happy when you listened to me about him.”
“Oh,” she replied.

Yeah, she had tried her best to trust in Him in that area of relationships. Her heart had been broken so many times before, she knew that He knew best. She was careful and tried her very best to listen to Him even when it wasn’t what she had in mind. And it turned out good. She was happy and thankful for the outcome.

But why was it so hard recently, to trust Him once again in the little things? Hadn’t she been through enough with Him to know He was real and that He knew what was best? She knew He was real, she knew He was in control. But, but she still…failed.

It came to her, “I think,” she paused, “I think I don’t really love you.” Her face was downcast, they continued to walk.

“I think I love ‘me’ more.” At that her tears started to fall.

It broke her heart, it broke His heart. It broke their hearts. It hurt, it stung, it was painful.

He knew. He had known all along. He knew from when she came to Him in need for His help but put Him aside when things were going well. He knew even when she denied it or was ignorant towards it. He knew even when she had tried to mask it. When she thought she had the whole world (and even her ownself) believing her lie , He knew and saw beyond what others saw.

She felt so ashamed, so undeserving. She wanted to say she was sorry but she had already said that so many times, she wondered if she really meant them.

They continued to walk. “Why was He still here? Why was He still walking beside me?” she asked herself. “Why did He stay.”

“I love you, still.” He said firmly to her.

She closed her eyes. He repeated those words to her, “I love you.”

“I love you unconditionally. I love you in spite of all you are or what you have done. I love you.”
That day, as she walked with Him – He who had walked with her all her life, He who came into her life and turned it inside out upside down, He who watched over her and cared for her, He who cherished her and loved her, He who gave her a purpose to live – as she walked with Him, she was strengthened and renewed by His unconditional love He revealed to her that day.

“Thank you,” she replied quietly. For she knew she didn’t deserve such a love, she didn’t deserve Him. It was that unexplainable thing she had been experiencing in her life called grace.







These were the things she experienced that day. She didn’t want to go back to the same state she had been in.

She wanted to love unconditionally too, like how He did. She was far from that at the moment, but she knew she wanted to be like Him. She knew that that was who she was called to be like.

We love because He first loved us.
1 John 4:19

Thursday, October 4, 2012


PKVUM will always have a special place in my heart :)

We're 60 now :) it simply amazes me how God has been working in and through, providing for and guiding this group of students in Universiti Malaya (who keep changing) for over sixty years! Thank You, God.

PKVUM Theme Song

Lord of Our Campus
Words by Christopher Choong and Marcus Khoo
Music by Marcus Khoo

To think that the Maker of heaven and earth
Would plant a seed for generations
Visions and truths to live and work out
Dreams to impact and rock our institutions
O God, Your kingdom come in our campus

To think that the Saviour who died on the tree
Would give us a vision, our life vocation
To grow in the Lord, to trust and obey
Proclaiming His Gospel to all the nations
O God, Your will be done in our campus

Lord, we come to Your throne
By Your work not our own
On bended knees we bow
Fix our eyes on the cross
As we seek to reach the lost
Lord, we ask this of You now
Shake our lives from comfort
Tear us from complacent lives
Lord, move us and teach us how
That Your kingdom may come
That Your will may be done
O God, You are Lord of our campus

This is our prayer, this is our heart's cry That Your kingdom may come, that Your will may be done here in our campus :)

We'll be celebrating our 60th Diamond Jubilee Anniversary along with Convo Dinner tomorrow night :) We'll be celebrating God's goodness and faithfulness over us.

All glory be unto God!

Saturday, September 29, 2012

the non-stop zone

it's already been three weeks of semester, or should i say, it's only been three weeks into the semester... and things have been going on back to back.

i call this the "non-stop zone".

for me as a university student, it usually comes at the end of the semester with the crazy assignment datelines all packed together or when the lecturers all seem to conspire to have tests the same week.

i think non-stop zones are pretty dangerous though :\ if we're not careful.

there's this thing called "burn out" or the more ganas term "crash and burn"
where you just keep running and running till you reach empty.

been there. and it's horrible. 

having people to encourage you and to focus on the right stuff really saves you from burning out. being reminded that it's not by our own strength and abilities we do the things we do, but it is by God's grace and strength we persevere on. and i am thankful for such people in my life.

there's also the "workaholic" syndrome.
where all you do and focus on is - work. you just go from one task to the next, to the next, to the next. it's pretty easy to get caught up in work in the non-stop zone. and it's scary, cause you may sometimes lose sight of the things that matter (like taking relationships and people's needs for granted) or even the purpose of why you're doing something. 

been here too. and it's not a good place to be in.

we do need to take those pauses every now and then, to check whether we're just going through the motions to the point we lose sight and the meaning of living

i think momentum is good, but having the right fuel and drive is even more important. in the midst of crazy busy times, it's even more crucial that we have those times where we just sit at the feet of Jesus like how Mary did, just enjoying and dwelling in the presence of our Lord. it's through these encounters we find refreshment and refuge in Him.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.
Psalm 91:1-2

i pray that no matter how busy we get, that we will always know that our lives have a very great purpose in God. it is more than the work we do or the datelines we have to meet, it is more than our activities and programs, more than the projects and assignments. our lives are meant for so much more, the only kind of life that is truly fulfilling and that really counts is a life lived unto the Lord according to what God calls us to. and that is a life worth living :) and i believe, it is exciting!

may you find refuge and strength in God even as you go through your non-stop zones.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

coffee moments

so, i've developed a thing since Camp Camerons to go for coffee on my Sabbath day (usually Sundays), on my own, with my bible and journal, and go on a date with God :) it's been pretty insightful, to look back on the week and chit chat with God about the things that happened, what made me happy, what broke my heart, what distracted me, what was my focus, what i learned, finding out what He thinks, or what He wants me to change and to do, seeking His perspective and His will, etc. i come back a lot more refreshed and orientated for the coming days.

this morning, i looked back on my past three months of break. and it's crazy how time has just flies by. this Monday, i start my first semester of my third year :| a new phase in university, new responsibilities, new challenges, new lives, new relationships, etc. but i look back and i do thank God very much for the old and for the things that have been happening.

this holidays began with PKVUM's CPR in Joanne's house in Melaka with the whole committee (Timothy, Joanne, Noah, Joyce, Abbie, Sarah, Philemon, Deborah, Daniel Hiew, Daniel Wong, Tien Mie) and our FES staff, Swee Kit and David.

we makan makan makan, went to jongker's street, ribut otak (brainstormed) for themes and objectives and for the coming semester ahead, we worshiped, prayed, shared and played :) it was a good time of getting to know each other, bonding and learning to work together as a team, as a family.

then Camp Camerons 2012 - Give me life in Thy ways.

lots of unforgettable moments with the people at this camp. three weeks of being at this "bus stop" where we did a stop and check of our lives. learned a lot about myself (the good and the bad) but even more than that once again experiencing the unconditional love and abounding grace of God.

a start of something new with a very special someone by the name of Ernest Lee.

meet Ernest :) 
he couldn't resist that single promo :P hahahaha (just kiddingg..)

an adventure over at Deborah's beautiful land below the wind, Sabah. with Lydia and Brandon. lovely times with lovely people. :)

a two days escapade and tell all journey with Sue Ann to Melaka. went down to visit Sue Ann's grandma who is the cutest and funniest grandma i've met :) had tons of melaka goodness - chicken rice ball under the tree, cendol, ice cream, etc. am going to miss this girl as she begins her journey as an undergraduate in USM, Penang. take care over there, dear.

weddings and weddings :) Daniel & Nie Nie and Reuben & Lisa. ngaaawwwww :)

daniel and nie nie :) 

reuben and lisa :)

also, have been meeting up with different groups of friends and spending more time with my family. and it's made me more appreciative of the people i have in my life.

i learned many things about myself these holidays. a lot of character flaws, ugly sides, and so on. things i need to work on, change, throw out, refine. all under God's grace and mercy. being transformed by the work of the Holy Spirit as i come before Him in surrender. having Ernest in my life has also taught me a lot about trust and truth, taught me more about loving one another.

i am so humbled by the grace and love shown to me by others. by the ones who have been hurt by me over the years, but who choose to forgive and still love me. i know i've lost some people along the way, and that i do regret :( i am grateful for those who give me the plain truth, even though it hurts and stings, but like bitter medicine, it's for the better. a lot of times i don't know how to go on with the relationship after that, but i guess character changing and refining isn't usually a quick instant thing but a process of making a conscious effort to change. i ask God to fill me with His love and grace that i may be able to love and care for others like how He does.

so, this has been the holiday journey and as i prepare myself for another semester ahead, i am excited to journey with God in this, knowing that He is the author and the perfecter of my faith, of the story of my life :)

and to you out there, to my loved ones, thank you for being a part of my life, for being a part of this journey. i want to thank you and appreciate the marks and impressions you have left in my life, for making me who i am today. although very imperfect still, i am still in the process of sanctification and refining. i love you, very much.

have a blessed weekend! :)

Friday, August 17, 2012

kurang manis

i was asking my mom as she was cutting a watermelon how do we choose good sweet watermelons? cause i've always wondered that every time we had to go shop for a watermelon :\ she said, "ask your dad."

so, i did.

and my dad said, "you press the watermelon. if it is hard, means it's ripe." (note that there was no mention of how sweet the watermelon would be)

okay, got it.

"how about all those patting the watermelon and listening to its sound thing people always do?" i asked.

"mm, don't know." dad said.

and we went on to taste the watermelon he had bought...

which turned out to be...

not sweet at all :\

"this is not sweet!" i said. my mom agreed with me.

and yew meng said, "well, diabetes is pretty chronic now. so, we bought kurang manis watermelon." then he took a bite and said, "wahh, this one really kurang manis!"

-.- mmhmm.

now, my quest is to discover the way of choosing a sweet watermelon :)

Monday, August 13, 2012

time to jog

yew leung: i think you should go jogging... Smile with tongue out

wai yan: why? fatter already? Thinking smileDisappointed smileSad smile

yew leung: .... Disappointed smile

wai yan: .... Sad smile

yew leung: cause i fixed your jogging shoes already Flirt maleOpen-mouthed smileLaughing out loud


hee, love the little brother Smile

Friday, August 10, 2012

to sabah and back

have not been in the blogging mode for quite a while now. i guess because blogging is my stress reliever, my outlet and currently, life has been quite chilled and relaxed for me.

just got back from Sabah, wonderful time spent there with Lydia and Deborah and Deborah's family :) and Brandon of course. It was my second time to the beautiful land of Sabah and a very different trip from my first one. my first trip to Sabah was to climb Mount Kinabalu and was pretty tourist-ish because the people i went with were all West Malaysians and we had a tour guide and we didn't mind paying hundreds for activities like white water rafting and so on. tourist mentality haha. we had to walk around and were pretty much confined to the city. it was more of discovering things on our own.

this time around, Debs brought us around and we got to try the local's best :) everything from food to the hanging bridges, a private tour of the UMS campus and so on :) we saved a lot too! on lodging and all. and because we had a car, we went from one end to the other. i really enjoyed the company and warmth of Deb's family (which is really huge and tight knitted) throughout the trip and am missing the kids who are super duper adorable :) i was really encouraged by their church and how God was moving in their midst and in their lives, the testimonies Aunty Mary shared and hearing of how God touches and changes lives was uplifting.

other things we did were visiting the Lok Kawi Wildlife Park, fed the crocodiles at the Crocodile Farm in Tuaran, snorkelled at Pulau Mamutik, chased the sunset to Tanjung Aru, musical fountains and a lot of good food every day :)

however, Lydia, Debs and i had a bit of food poisoning towards the end of the trip. Lydia had it the worst and very unfortunately on the day we went to Pulau Mamutik. :( but all in all, it was a beautiful and enjoyable trip with amazing people :)

Sunset at Tanjung Aru :) we chased the sunset!

with Debs and Lydia at Pulau Mamutik;
two very important people in my two previous semesters who encouraged and walked with me in my university journey :) 

Sunrise on our last day at Bukit Padang :) 
don't have many pictures with me at the moment because most of it are in Lydia's camera. but i thank God for this trip and for the little blessings He brought into my life through it :)

okay, back to doing something (cg kit) i've been procrastinating for some time now :\

Sabah Trip
(2-8 August 2012)

Monday, July 30, 2012

i can do all things through Christ :)

Through Christ - Donna Lasit, Generation Unleashed

I can do all things through Christ
I can move a mountain if you
Are the strength of my life
I can do all things through Christ
If you are the strength of my life 


Give me life in Thy ways

Hello, just got back (about a week ago) from Camp Camerons 2012. And it was a really good stop and check for my own life. Met some old friends and lots of new ones too and most of all built pretty meaningful relationships with people there :) Met a lot of amazing people there, each with his and her own story to tell.

It was three weeks long! Coming back from it, I do miss the times there.

But I believe all that happened there, all I've gone through and experienced, that there's a reason for all that and that reason is so that I can go on with life wherever I am living life in His ways. That's the whole point and purpose of life, I suppose. 

I don't really know how to sum everything up in a blog post, it'll be a very very long one I foresee and that kind of makes me, uhh, avoid it. Oh, that's one thing I learnt about myself: I tend to avoid things. I really fear, dislike confrontations. But certain events at camp brought me to a place where I realized coming forth with the truth, apologies, thoughts and feelings, etc. was actually better as compared to the quiet tensions and awkwardness. It's something I've got to learn to do. To be truthful with the ones I love.

This is my family :) The Gad Family or The Gaddadites.

Really thank God for these people. We shared so much with each other over the days, got into areas of disagreements and sorts but worked it out. And I pray we continue to grow in our relationships and love for each other. Really thank God for each one. :)

Another thing I realized at camp was how I related to others. People. Lives. I think along the way, I just lost sight of how very precious each person in my life was. Along the way, I've hurt so many :( I need to learn to love all over again. To not harden my heart to others and also situations. To listen more and talk less. To love not only in words but through my actions. To care. 

I actually really enjoyed the Sabbaths there, where we went off on our own and had hours and hours of silence with God. The place we were at, Chefoo Methodist Center, was really nice. The first week I found a spot on the hills where it was mossy and quite dry, I lay there looking at the blue sky and the trees before me. It was...wahh :) The second and third Sabbaths were spent walking around a bit more. Streams, grass, walls, trees, etc. The things I discovered and talked about with God really made me see how shortsighted I had been to many things in my life.

This camp for me was a lot of redeeming, a lot of correcting and learning to live and enjoy His presence once  again. I guess as we grow older and take on more and more responsibilities, we sometimes lose that joy and ability to be still with God. I know I did. I'd gotten so used to running around, doing this and that, to a point I grew pretty tired and disillusioned. But this stop at Camp Cameron really helped me get my bearings straight again. Thank God.

I come back with this name for God - My Father. The one who created me, who knows me, who loves me, who cares and provides for me, who watches over and protects me, who guides me, who teaches me, who encourages me, who strengthens me, who comforts me, who corrects and disciplines me, who forgives me, who knows what's best for me, and who is so much more to me. This is my Father. :)

Knowing that I am the one who needs Him and not the other way around. It is by His grace and mercy, I am here today. And it is by His grace and mercy that I live each and every single day.

Lord, give me life in Your ways.

The rainbow God blessed us with on our final camp special night. It was beautiful :) A sign of God's covenant and faithfulness. Thank You, Lord, for Camp Cameron.