Friday, October 29, 2010

for now…

I am super duper duper happy! Open-mouthed smile

First semester is done with. No more lectures (for now) Smile, no more assignments (for now) Open-mouthed smile, no more presentations (for now) Laughing out loud, no more stress (for now) Flirt male… Yes, I am a happy happy girl! Rolling on the floor laughing

Going up to Cameron Highlands for PKVUM’s T.H.E. (Terrific, Happening, Exciting) Camp for four days tomorrow just adds to the excitement and joy Open-mouthed smile

* I am aware of my excessive use of smileys in this post Smile hahaa.

Just looking back at these 14 weeks in uni, I see so much of God’s grace and strength, His faithfulness and steadfastness, despite all my mistakes and inabilities. The amount of procrastination I succumbed to is just shameful! He helped me to juggle lots of accumulated things, and I love Him for always being there. I know for a fact that He was walking beside me all the way. I try to be conscious of His presence and it does help make the journey a lot less painful. He’s been so so real, Flirt male thank You, God!

So, three weeks of holiday *ahem* STUDY BREAK, I mean. Five exam papers, and that’s the official end of Semester 1! I am visualising it already. In love

persevere, somehow you’ll make it through!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

For Thy Namesake

The valley was dark. On both sides of the battlefield, the troops were preparing themselves to go into battle, anytime now.

On one side the enemy was championed by a huge strong man, tall, dark, evil. He mocked and profaned the Name of the King of kings. Around him stood his minions, ready to do his bidding. Behind him; captives, chained and  imprisoned, lost.

On the other side, God’s people stood. Some armed and some unarmed, most were not quite ready for battle. There were some who tried to be heroic and charged to try to save the captives, only to be cut down by the enemy. In the middle of the battlefield, many slain and many injured.

What was going on? Why were we losing the battle when we believed that we were fighting on the right side against the right enemy? It didn’t make sense.

Not until, something in me could not stand that God’s Name be profaned the way it was. It was the Spirit. And then it hit me, God’s people were more concerned on freeing the captives and going into battle, and some even just wanted to go into it to gain recognition, glory even. In the midst of that, we forgot what we were fighting for. Everyone’s purpose for being on that battlefield was different. Some wanted fame, some wanted to free the prisoners, some wanted their churches to grow, some were just following. But none of them were concerned very much that God was being mocked.

Our King was being mocked. If we were not fighting for our King, then what were we all there for?

Worship. A stirring within me cried out for us to worship our King, lifting up His Name, no other name but Jesus. Our focus needs to be brought back to our King, the only one who is able to save and who has already won the victory. Worship, giving glory and honour and praise unto His Name. Worship in spirit and in truth.

And as His people turned to Him, in worship and prayer. As they came together for one purpose, to exalt the Name of the Lord, the King Himself came into their midst, came into the battlefield and His glory and holiness shone in the darkness. His radiance was beautiful and His light so powerful that the enemy was scattered and defeated. The people of God basked in the presence of their King, the prisoners were set free from the chains and prisons and their feet were set to dancing. And the people continued to rejoice and worship.


Are we, the church, focusing on the other things, that we forget to worship and exalt our King? Are we too concerned with our programs, our ministries, our music, our outreaches that we lose sight of our hope? What are we fighting for; His Name or our own? When we pray, what is our heart’s motive? Have we lost our zeal for our God, our passion and fire for Him?

Not to us, O Lord, not to us but to Your name be the glory, because of Your love and faithfulness.

Psalm 115:1

Friday, October 22, 2010

walking on water

Matthew 14:25-33

During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
"Lord, if it is you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
"Come," he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."

what does it feel like to be walking on water, i wonder...

when i read this passage, i felt God saying to me,

I'm going to ask you to come of your boat now...
are you willing to trust me?
When you are out, cast your eyes upon me,
do not be distracted and despaired by the winds and waves around you...
will you keep your focus on me?
Come to me, trust in me.

stepping out of our boats, out of our comfort zones, out of our safe vessels.
stepping out in faith and walking on waters, defying everything that is logical and that others believe impossible.
stepping out, with our hearts and eyes set on Christ, walking towards Him.
even when the waves and winds around us are wild and viciously attacking us, keep walking on the waters with our vision cast upon Him.

yet, even if we lose faith and begin to sink, cry out to Him, and He will come and save.

my life is at a point where God is challenging me to step out in faith with him. letting go of all my hopes and ambitions, my wants and so-called "needs", to chase after the things of God and to do His will.

Dear God,
You know me far better than i know myself.
You see my fears, my timidity, my worries.
You know how i often allow my logic to cause me to doubt.
You know how silly and easily distracted i can get.
You know how i can be selfish and hypocritical at times (actually, lots of times).
You have a whole load of broken promises i've made to You.
You know how imperfect and broken i am.
You know me, and yet You still choose to love me. Thank You.
Help me to step out of this boat in faith, onto the waters, despite the winds and the waves. Help me to be courageous and bold for You. Help me to walk towards You, not turning to the left or to the right. And when my eyes see the waves around me and my heart starts to worry, when my whole life seems to be sinking down down down; save me.

am going to start serving in PKVUM (Persaudaraan Kristian Varsiti Universiti Malaya). AGM's in a few hours time. it's going to be so different from Taman SEA's CF, but we are still serving the same God and it's going to be an exciting journey. and i pray that God would cause our lives to be transformed into the likeness of Christ more and more as we go along this journey of serving Him here in UM. :)

Monday, October 18, 2010

all i need

trust in me,
he says.

and that is all the reason i need to go on.
all the hope i need to move on.
all i need to heal my heart.
all i need to know
his true love.

i love you.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

this is a test. testing, one two three!

It's like I'm rediscovering blogging all over again!

Did you know you can email your post to a secret address you create and blogger will post it up for you? Way COOL!! (i wonder if the emocticons will show too)

And and and I've added this reaction thing, so you can 'like' my posts if you want. *hinthint*

I think I blog because it's a good distraction from my assignments :| tsk, terrible!


ahh, so malu, i typed the wrong address and thought that this whole thing was a fluke. hehh, shy.

rewind, pause, play

dear blog, long time no see!
how are you doing? :D

time for a revamp!
new title, new background, new theme :)
i like the whole rain on my window pane look.
it has a refreshing feel to it.
i like the rain.

A little update on what's been going on in my life. I've started university in University Malaya, doing a degree in TESL (Teaching English as a Second Language). I'm about to finish my first semester and it's been quite a journey. I've met new people, learned new things and discovered much in the process.

God's been taking me through the journey step by step, bit by bit. I'm learning to trust Him a lot more now. And He never fails to amaze me with His unconditional love, grace and mercy. To be transformed in Him, I need to be close to Him.

So, for now, it's a lot of reflecting and drawing near to God, allowing Him to touch, heal and remove areas of my life that are not Christlike. Getting to know Him better, falling in love with Him deeper, and experiencing Him like never before.

Being in uni can get really hectic :| Assignments, presentations, deadlines, activities *BIG SIGH* When everything gets so overwhelming and unbearable, slow it down.

Rewind; to remember our purpose and hope in God, remember His everlasting promises.
Pause; take a break and find rest in His presence, listen to His still voice.
Play; continue on with His strength and grace, find joy in Him!

Rewind. Pause. Play.
Have a nice day! :)