Wednesday, December 22, 2010

i really really really need You, God.

Answer me when I call to you,
O my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress;
be merciful to me and hear my prayer.
Psalm 4:1

am not going through anything like what King David went through. 
but there are things that are really bringing me down :(
yet I believe in a mighty God, the God of David and many others who went through all kinds of situations. And I know nothing is impossible for Him.

there is hope even in the most hopeless situations.
in God there is hope.

please, help me. :'(

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

let’s try to keep things clean and neat, ok?

cleaned up my room Smile

looked like a hurricane ran through it but now it is very neat. Open-mouthed smile chehwahh.
yewmeng likes to joke that if our house got robbed, the robbers would enter my room and think that it had already been ransacked by robbers. Surprised smile
my kawan said more like a tsunami happened, considering the amount of time i took to clean up my room. hehh Smile with tongue out

but anyway, apart from all those snide remarks, my room is in the state of … BERSIH Laughing out loud
and i intend to keep it that way Smile

And i’ve been thinking, my life is very much like my room. It get’s messy, it get’s cleaned up. Many times, i’m just too lazy and tired to clean it up, i’ll just make do with whatever space i can find in the mess. It get’s frustrating when i can’t find my stuff, it gets uncomfortable to live in…and then i’ll go into cleaning mode.

My life gets messy too. I get distracted, get lost, get tired, get frustrated, get stuck, get scared… Disappointed smile And always, i’m unable to clean up my life on my own, and God in His love and mercy, reaches out and washes over me. thank you.

My mom always nags me to keep my room tidy. She says to put my clothes back into the cupboard, put my books and stuff back into their correct places, hang up my towel, pick up my clothes, etc. Basically, put away stuff and keep things orderly.

My room doesn’t just become messy in just a minute or two, it starts with trying on clothes and leaving them on my bed, then messing up my cupboard to find a shirt or something, then not putting away my clean folded clothes…the study table get’s messy starting with not putting away the papers and pens after making some cards, then leaving books and papers on it, after a while, it’s so cluttered, i can’t use the table for writing or anything, so I do my work on the bed. Disappointed smile bad habit. I like to write, read, study on the bed. And usually just fall asleep with everything on it. Oh, and i leave lots of books and stuff on the floor too. The dressing table goes crazy starting with the accessories; hair ties, earrings, bracelets, necklaces, this and that. After a while, so many things are jumbled up, I sometimes can’t find my pair of glasses. Haiyo. So, that’s roughly how my room ends up looking like a hurricane ran through. Eye rolling smile

And like life, things usually don’t just come crashing down in a mess instantly. Well, at least for me lah. I tend to just walk into messes or create messes for myself Sad smile Pretty dumb, but yeah. It starts with little compromises. Not doing what i know i’m supposed to do and doing stuff i know i’m not supposed to do.

Then i wonder, where did it all come crashing down? How did i end up in such a situation?

And all i can do is turn to God. Desperately in need for Him to come intervene, come and help clean up my mess. And sometimes, I wonder if He ever gets fed-up with this girl who never seems to learn her lesson Crying face but in His great love and compassion, decides to help her and give her a second chance.

i love you. i know i don’t deserve these second chances. thank you.

So, like how i’m trying to keep my room tidy, i’m going to try to live my life for God according to His standards and His will. I know i will definitely struggle, fall, stumble, make messes, sin…but at least try, try to stay in tune with Him, stay right with God. Where i can, i will live to please Him, and even then i cannot do it on my own, i still run and am fuelled by His grace and strength.

I am after all, just a sinner saved by grace. His grace.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010



i hugged my roommate, Li Fen, before she left for her hometown in Johor and said, “ Can you believe it we just finished one sem! Haluansiswa didn’t seem too long ago…” Smile i’m going to miss her very very very much. and i’m sorry that towards the end, i wasn’t really in the room.


i packed all my stuff up and took them home. my college room has been a place of silence and solitude, where i go to when i need my time alone to reflect and ponder on stuff. there was one time, i got marooned there without my cell phone and no internet, during the holidays. my roommate was not there and the food stores were closed Disappointed smile interesting time. usually after a while it gets too boring, so i run back home to PJ. such a spoilt kid Smile with tongue out


i posted all my NC 2010 pictures on Facebook.


R.I.U.T. : Risk it, U-Turn! NC 2010

TWO! R.I.U.T. : Risk it, U-Turn! NC 2010


i read through my red journal Flirt male and i was reminded of many many many things; good and not so good. the year started off with much hopes and uncertainty. but at the end, seeing how God’s plans unfold was simply amazing. i’ve learned so much this past year and God has been ever-present in my ups and downs. Red heart but that’s not the end, He still has much much more in store! and many times i am fearful to go, but i’m asking Him for grace, strength and courage.


i thank God for today.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

final two

just got back from NC 2010 and it was really good, really really good.

am having my two last papers for my first sem’s finals tomorrow – Writing About Literature and Physical Education. Disappointed smile God, please help me.

am a bit restless now. so, meet my pet baby gecko.


and he’s reading my Physical Education notes Open-mouthed smile


distraction from Writing about Literature

comel kan? Smile aiseh, so distracted. how you tell me, how? okay, back to the notes. and update on NC 2010 will come soon after tomorrow’s two final papers.

last two, last two, last two, last two, last two, last two, last two, last two, last two, last two, last two, last two!! Flirt male