Wednesday, May 29, 2013

magic dust

I must be really stressed :\

Came to the blog to just play with the cursor and watch the glitter/sprinkles/pixels fall whenever i move my mouse around. Like magic dust :D

Things have been pretty tough lately, consequences of terrible time management and procrastination :( Been pretty down about things especially my academic project. Many times I wish I could just do a disappearing act, vanish, do a "now you see me, now you don't", *tadaa!* thing. Sometimes I wish I could do magic blackouts or something. Hmmmm. Yeah, I've been pretty stressed.

Nevertheless, God has been graceful and God has been good. His love, as the Bible says, endures forever. And I am getting by on heavy dosages of grace and reminders of His everlasting promises. Perspectives change many things! The process has been humbling but it has taught me much.

Trust. Faith. Love. Hope. Peace. Joy. Persevere. Pray. (Just to name a few)

And so, I'm glad to say, "I'm still alive." :) Well, like Joanne says, "You think so easy to die meh? Dying not so easy wan." -.- True, our lives and times are in His hands, set by our God.

I have something better than magic dust :) a million gazillion times better than magic dust :) I have Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. And He has conquered things far worst than my academic project. Heh.

For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. 
To Him be glory forever. Amen.
Romans 11:36 

Saturday, May 18, 2013

give love

Today, as I prayed.

"God, please help me. I feel so lost and helpless. God, help. What should I do? There must be more to this life than what I'm going through. Yet all I seem to be focusing on is me, myself and I. How come I don't have your peace, joy and love? How come it's such a struggle to trust in You? Why?"

And He answered,
"Give love. Give. Love."

Lord, teach me to give love. Open my eyes and heart to see the needs of those around me and to love them like how you love them.  Move me out and beyond my comfort zone. Teach me to give, teach me to love. And I humbly ask for Your strength and grace to do so. 

In Jesus Name,

Friday, May 17, 2013

Let our King be Lifted Up

Hosanna in the Highest 
Let our King be lifted up

Real thought as we sang this song in PKV today,
"What in my life lifts Jesus up?"

Do my actions, word, attitudes, thoughts, feelings, choices, etc. reflect what I sing so passionately in this song? Or are the words just confined to good music and are mere lyrics of the song?

What in my life lifts Jesus up?
When people look at my life, do they see Christ?
Or am I just putting on my own show...

Let our King be lifted up.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

blessed - the beatitudes

Blessed are the poor in spirit, 
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, 
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 5:3-10

Bible study today reminded me that God's ways are not like man's ways and His ways are higher than our ways. The Bible is full of things that boggle our minds, that don't make sense to us. But as Christians, we believe by faith that the Bible is truth revealed. And so, I take comfort and encouragement in the words of Matthew 5:3-10, that blessed are these people. Though things may be crashing down and falling apart all around us, we will continue to hope in the promises of our God. He tells us to rejoice in times of trials for they are there to test our faith which produces perseverance and when perseverance has finished its work, it makes us mature and complete, not lacking anything (James 1:2-7).

Persevere on, rejoice in trials :)
And hope in God.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013


Hello, Malaysia :)

5th of May 2013 was a BIG day for you. You were on everyone's heart and mind :) We prayed for you, we prayed for your leaders, we prayed for your people. And we prayed, "God's will be done". 

People were lining up as early as 7.00 am to cast their votes. I was there early as a Polling Agent and later on as a Counting Agent (PACA). I could see the excitement on everyone's faces, save a few who looked sleepy on a Sunday morning. When they opened the gates, people thronged into the polling centre. 

Lines and lines early in the morning.
It was my first time voting too. So before I served as a PACA, I went in to vote. We had to line up outside our specific saluran, mine was the 'young people' saluran. Lots of first time voters there :) I'm glad our young people see the importance to exercise their right to vote. I'm sure they love you very much, Malaysia. I saw my old school mates, neighbors, etc. people I grew up with. Malaysia, you are our home :') At 8.00 am, the voting began. We went in, voted and came out with blue index fingers :D

After voting, I was walking back to the Pondok Panas, an old aunty came up to me with a piece of paper and asked me where was S.M.K Taman S.E.A. We were in S.K. Taman Megah and she had walked here following the crowd of people. She wanted to vote. She loved you too, Malaysia :) I offered to send her to the school and struggled to carry conversations in Cantonese with her (haha). I hope that when I'm old and wrinkly, we would have made a difference in you, Malaysia. And that I would still love you very much even if it means I have to walk to the school or am lost and in need of a ride from a stranger. :) You are worth it.

My duties as a PACA started soon after I got back from sending the aunty. The SPR agents in the room I was in were helpful and kind. Repeating and slowing down when needed. My saluran had the middle aged group coming in. No trouble encountered there. I even found a lady with the same name as me - Wai Yan :D 

reporting for duty :)
Generally, people were excited and well-mannered in casting their votes. But there were some who were fussy and suspicious about things and they weren't very nice to the SPR agents :( I felt sorry and sad to see how blinded and misled some of us had become that we become hostile towards others - foreigners and fellow Malaysians. It's really the people in power who have been the ones manipulating these people we take it out on and that just creates an ugly picture. I'm sorry, Malaysia. I'm sorry we hurt one another.

Malaysia, I saw your people unite :) Even though I mentioned how misled some got, the people stood together to defend you. I heard stories and updates of how they didn't allow foreigners who were given IC's to cast their votes in certain places where they were being brought in. And that was out of love. It was sad to say, the only way :( This manipulation was really the doing of those in power but the people made their voice clear on the ground levels. We wanted this elections to be fair and clean.

It began to rain, heavily. I got off duty to have lunch and visited the flooded Barung Station. Michelle and I decided to build a "bridge" for the voters to walk to the agents. So we sourced for things. Got a wooden platform thing and some bricks and an uncle found some concrete slabs. And we made a "path" to the tables where people were to check their salurans.

They dubbed it "The Longkang" :P
The clock struck 5.00 pm, the doors were closed and we were going to start counting. I felt sorry for the SPR agents who had been tirelessly working the whole day but they continued on - strong! The room was arranged and we started counting counting counting. As Counting Agents, we weren't allowed to touch the ballots, just observe. The SPR agents would show us the pieces of ballots and we would confirm which candidate got the vote. It was quite a long and tedious process but we were particular about it. If there was a missing piece at the end, they had to recount the whole stack again. After that, everything was tallied and recorded in specific forms - Borang 14 being the final one. This was to be the official number sent to the main meeting point where all was tallied. The boxes were sealed in front of our eyes and we signed on it, but what happens after that? I guess my saluran and area wasn't too bad in terms of funny and dirty business, the DAP candidates we represented (Tony Phua and Yeo Bee Yin) won by a landslide. We went back home after that, it was around 8.00 pm. 

That night, Malaysians gathered together to follow the results. The mainstream media wasn't too encouraging for those of us who hoped for change. They only showed Sarawak and the many seats BN had won there. Then we moved to SS2, to hear the updates from DAP. It was exciting, you could see the huge gaps we were leading by. There were some falling behind, but we remained positive. We couldn't stay till the very end and decided to go back. I crashed on the bed the moment I got back, it had been a long day and the lack of sleep throughout the week was starting to take its toll on me. I went to bed hopeful for you, Malaysia. I hoped things would change :)

Together in anticipation.
But the next morning, when I woke. Ernest sent me a text, "BN won Putrajaya by slight majority." *glass shattering* :| But how? Why? :( And so, I cried. I cried for you, Malaysia. It broke my heart. I went on Facebook and found many many saddened people. Black was overtaking the pictures and to show that I mourned too, I changed mine black too. There were many who began to voice out a lot of sensible and rational truths and it was amazing to see everyone encouraging one another to keep going on. A friend messaged me about the black picture and encouraged us to have a change of heart and to keep pressing on. He was right, how long were we going to mourn for? And what effect did it have? Some said "it's over", some said "democracy is dead", some lost hope in you. NO! It's NOT over, democracy is NOT dead, and hope is NOT lost. And Malaysia, I, for one, have not given up on you.

After a good cry and a talk with God about this whole thing. God reminded me that you belong to Him and He is sovereign and above all. He will avenge and punish the wicked. Light will shine in the darkness and good overcome evil. At the end of the day, truth and righteousness will stand. We have to keep trusting and persevering in Him. We need to keep praying and putting our faith into action. I have faith in God and in you, Malaysia. Change is happening.

We saw that the reason BN won was because they had hold in the rural areas of Sarawak and Sabah. We need to change that, we need to open the eyes and minds of these people and we cannot do that from afar. We saw the current corrupt conditions and we saw hope in change, but the people who had little access to information didn't and couldn't see that. Forgive us where we have segregated our brothers and sisters in East Malaysia, when we have been indifferent to them. Malaysia, we're going to change that. 

Ernest came down that evening and we came up with this. More of his idea, I just helped here and there. We believe ubah has happened in our rakyat and will continue happening. Things cannot remain the way they were and we'll see how things go in the coming days. We will continue the fight against corruption and stand for justice and righteousness, not just when it nears the elections. Malaysia, ubah is still happening and will continue happening :) It's a new day with new hopes! 


Our simple message to Malaysians:


God bless Malaysia. 
We love you!

Thursday, May 2, 2013



Haven't been here in a while. A lot has happened and a lot has been happening.

The 13th General Elections are coming and all kinds of things are happening. It's been getting messy and quite ugly and a lot of things are getting exposed. Facebook is flooded with information and politics is all the talk around town. There are still chains of fear that bind people in Malaysia, but we pray that truth will set them free and that perfect love will drive out all fear. We trust in the certainty and sovereignty of God, that His will is right. I love my country, Malaysia and I pray that change for the better will happen this GE13.

I pray God's will be done in Malaysia.

I used to think I loved Malaysia very very much. But when I see Ernest's passion for this land and her people, it makes me realize there is more. Ernest has taught me a lot, inspired me a lot, and encouraged me a lot. I thank God for him. And I pray that our hearts and love for the things of God and for people will continue to deepen and be strengthened in God. I pray that we will be used by God to make a difference wherever we are - now and all the days of our lives.

I echo Carmen's words,
"Despite all these, I think we have to constantly remind ourselves that we are attacking  issues, not individuals. We hate sin, not sinners. What would Jesus do? I have to remind and ask myself too."
What's going to happen after elections?

We do not stop praying and we continue to stand in the gap on behalf of our land. We continue to speak up for truth, righteousness and justice. We continue to fight and expose corruption. We will continue to be part of the healing process and the building up of our land, Malaysia. We will pray for our leaders whoever they are because that is what the Bible commands us to do (1 Timothy 2:1-2, 1 Peter 2:13-17). And the Church and her people must know its role at such a time as this.

He has shown you, O man, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8

this was what made me take a stand, to change.

Malaysians who are voting, do vote wisely. Please don't give up your right to vote. Your vote counts. Take care and God bless!