Friday, August 30, 2013

Day 2 - The Arrival

Arrived in Incheon Airport feeling oh-so-excited :D And the feeling is still growing as I look around and take in the unfamiliarity of this new place. South Korea is beautiful :)

The university we're in is also pretty amazing too :) But I'll save that for another time when I've explored more of it.

So, here's to an awesome next four months of learning, exploring and discovering :) Committing each of these days to my Father in Heaven and thanking Him for this opportunity to be here.

Day 1 - Leaving Home

Never been so far away for so long in my life. Of course, there'll come a time when this will seem so trivial, but for now, it's quite something to me. 

My parents, Yew Leung and Ernest were at the airport to see me off. It was quick goodbyes and constant reminders to be careful and wishes for have a safe journey. I really love and miss them all :) Oh, and the night I flew off was Yew Meng's birthday too. Happy birthday, rounds. Am going to miss kacau-ing you these four months!

Leaving home makes you appreciate and miss your loved ones back home :) 

Thursday, August 29, 2013

leaving on a jet plane

So, I'm flying off to Korea tomorrow! Wow, that's fast :\

In the past two weeks, I ended my teaching practice. It was bittersweet. Learnt a lot being in the school for about eight weeks (two weeks of Raya break do not count, haha) but there seems to be so much more to learn too. Was very touched by the efforts of my students in saying their goodbyes. I'll miss you, girls :)

Fellow Trainees :)

Had a family dinner on Monday - farewell for Yew Leung and I + Birthday celebration for Yew Meng and Sieh Ping + Celebration for Yew Kong's thesis successes (speaking and writing) I'm going to miss home :)

Tuesday was debriefing and reflection in UM about our teaching practice. Insightful and inspiring :) It was good to see everyone again. We laughed, told stories, encouraged each other and for Vindy and I bid farewell to our beloved coursemates. Had a makan-makan with Dr Visha and the Moral bunch :)

Dr Visha, Hanan and Vindy :)
With Shikin and Kat :D
All together now :D
Banana leaf - Yay! :)
Also got to meet up with Huey Lin, Jared and Ernest at The Grind :) It was good hearing from the working and the fresh graduates. I felt like a kid :P

Huey Lin, your perseverance and work inspires me. And when you ask, "So, what can we do?" It reminds me to keep asking that question too. 

Jared Koh, thank you for sharing and challenging us to become missionaries, teachers, politicians, people who ma
ke a difference. hope you get your call one day! heheheh. 

Ernest Lee, thank you for journeying with me and always showing me what it is to put love into action. Keep doing that, keep reminding yourself that God's call is better than what the world expects you to do/earn/be. 
 *To these who inspire and encourage me to make a difference in this broken world*

SWEEPers :)
Favorite boy in the whole wide world! :D

Today, we went back to the refugee school for awhile. I missed the kids. :) Hugs and high fives given. And was reminded at the end of the day how blessed I am to have Ernest in my life, such a BIIGG heart he has! :) Ernest, thank you for being patient, understanding and loving towards a broken, sometimes confused and often times confusing girl. I love you.

So anyway, all my bags are packed...

*starts singing*

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane (aeroplane)
Don't know when I'll be back again (9th January 2013)

See you soon :) Hope I'll blog more when I'm there!
New chapter of my life, here I come :D

Thursday, August 22, 2013

jumpstart my heart

"I feel dead..." I told him, "I feel like I'm dying, like I have no purpose in life.."
"Why?" he asked me.
"I don't know. I've just lost my passion, my purpose, my direction. I don't know why. I feel lost. Why?" 

Tears stream down.

I knew why. I'd been drifting, wandering, straying away. And on my own, I was lost. I had him with me, but he was not to be my compass nor map. And that overwhelming fear that I may lose him terrified me. I became insecure, clingy, desperate, hungry for attention and finally broken when I didn't get what I expected. I was a pendulum swinging; one moment happy and content, the next lost and hurting.

I realize how weak and insecure this makes me look. I used to think myself pretty independent, pretty well-rounded, pretty alright, I would say. Such pride (tsktsk).

Going through all this makes me realize that all this while it's been God's grace that has kept me and shaped me. I'd taken that for granted.

It wasn't an instant fall away, not an instant denial. But it was me slowly removing my dependency, my trust and my hope from God. And that soon left me - lost.

I'm coming back by His grace and mercy. He calls, He rebukes, He disciplines, He heals, He restores. It's like that jumpstart to a car that can't start, He's jumpstarting my heart. To once again love Him and love others. To feel and know His heart for those around me. How very numb I had become as I became self-centered.

Change that, O Lord. I'm coming back, by Your grace.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

here, there and in between

The inconsistent blogger is back! :) *cheers, woots, confetti flying* :P just for fun.

It's been a while and lots has happened.

One, I'm almost at the end of my teaching practice and it has been a day by day journey of grace. I learned so much about the teaching profession and realize I have so much more to learn. It's been great having more experienced teachers who have gone before who encouraged me here and there along the way. Ernest's mom was one of them, from her once in a while calls and questions of "Has your supervisor come to assess you yet?" to sharing her own stories of teaching. 

Sports Day! Meet Vindy :)
Vindy my teaching buddy has also been such a great friend throughout, laughing our way back through the traffic jams as we recall the funny encounters and situations of the day. 

Joanne who is also doing her internship has also been a source of comfort and encouragement, I think her working conditions were way harsher than mine with mad working hours and "interesting" characters to deal with on a day to day basis. But that sort of perseverance really inspires and encourages me :) Just do it.

Apart from that, Ernest and I have reached our one year :) Hee. And at the moment, we're entering into different phases in life. He's now a graduate, moving out from the university student phase (so proud of him)! And I'm entering my final year (whereby I'll be spending half of it in Korea). 

We've been seeing a little more of each other lately since we're relatively more free compared to when we were both busy with our semesters. And I've been enjoying every bit of our catch ups and time together as well as time with our other friends :) Always learning that it's not just you-me-and-the-whole-world-disappears, but we want a relationship that is a blessing to others around us. Not one that makes people squirm uncomfortably when in our company :3 Been checking things off our check list too. 

But then, pretty soon it'll be four months apart while I'm in Korea. *DEEP BREATH* Okay. We'll grow through it and we commit it all to God. 


So, it's now the Raya holidays. I have one more week of teaching practice to go, another week of settling everything I need to settle, and then off it is to Korea. Counting down the days: 14 days till I leave. I'm excited, nervous, scared, blur, anticipating, hopeful, and so much more. I pray I'll go there and learn and experience much. I pray that despite being in a whole new environment I'd be able to be salt and light to the people around me, to bring Christ through my life. Lord, use me. 

Lately, I've been feeling a little lost. I think it's the holiday effect mixed with a dose of PMS. Holiday effect being I just got two weeks off school for the Raya break and I've been thoroughly enjoying myself which has also caused me to sidetrack a lot of my work and even my quiet time with God :( It is really a struggle for me when routine is taken out of my life. Well, holidays are ending pretty soon and I think that's been nagging at my conscience. But I think the feeling of being a bit neither here nor there is attributed to me actually being neither here nor there. Sad to say, I've just been living for me lately. 

We're doing this forty day fast and prayer for Malaysia and the title is "Let Your Kingdom Come" (For those interested, you can find out more and download the prayer booklet here: And it reminds me over and over again, to build up God's kingdom and not my own and to have eternity written on our hearts. I get caught up easily in things of the moment and I like easily the things I have now. So much so that I put the things of God aside so that I can do my own things :( But when we look at things, ten, twenty, fifty, a hundred years from now, it's all going to pass. It's all temporary. So, whose kingdom am I investing in?

But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, 
and all these things will be given to you as well. 
Matthew 6:33

What a promise, what a word. But God's word is truth and defies every logical explanation and argument of the world. And so, I trust and ask that God grant me His grace to yield to and obey His word. 

Lord, let Your Kingdom come. 
In Jesus Mighty Name, Amen.