everyday is a new day :)

hello marshmallow :)

it's been super duper long since i've last blogged. well, not like i'm very consistent either. and i just realized that i blog like once a month. but anyway, so much has been happening lately.

the things God is doing and is going to do is simply indescribable and exciting! He has so much install for our country, our churches, our cf, our schools, our lives.

we've had 40 day prayer and fast and also Petaling Jaya Prayer Day (PJPD) with the objective to come together and pray for our nation. it is really exciting. we must start rising up in prayer.

but in the midst of all that excitement, there have been times where i've felt so discouraged and sometimes anxious (don't really know why). anxious in the sense that sometimes i wake up suddenly with my heart beating so fast and a sick feeling in it. i really do not know why. but God has been a source of encouragement and my assurance.

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.
Psalm 143:8

everyday, i have hope in the love of God :) and so do you!

Dear Lord,
Thank You for the hope You give us every day.
Thank You for Your unfailing love.
Thank You for the assurance that You are watching over us.
I love You, Lord so much.

but as for me, i will trust in You

life has been quite a struggle. but it has been a struggle where i know i'm not alone, but where i am assured that God is with me.

life in form 6 is pretty crazy, especially for someone like me. whose time management skills is super bad. help me, Lord.

but of course life is not all that bad. yeah, i may be struggling at the moment, but one thing i've learnt through the struggles i've been through in my life is that in those times of desperation, God is so real and that there is never a situation that's too big for Him to bring us through. such a wonderful hope, yes?

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

God's grace IS enough for me. He is all that i need. :)

back to the blessings He has given to me throughout these past weeks, one of the biggest things that God brought me through to remind me how there is so much more to life than just my own and my own plans, God has a super BIG BIG BIG picture than what our human minds could ever imagine!! He did this during the Malaysian Youth Prayer Gathering on the 19th July 2008 in Kluang, Johor. it was exciting to see youths from all the states in Malaysia come together to pray for our country and i was so humbled to see how God can use the small town churches and youths to be part of His BIG plan for the nation, for the world, for people! God is doing such a great thing in Malaysia and it's really exciting. i really don't want to miss out on it because i was too caught up with Form 6 or something like that. i want to be part of His plans and i want to live my life for Him! and we must must pray for our land, Malaysia.

1 Timothy 2:1-2
I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone–for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.

then there was Netball Inter-house Games. played for green house. and we got second. pretty alright i guess, since we had like TWO practices only!! we've always been getting second to purple since forever! oh well. but it was super duperly fun to play netball again though i think i'm really bad at it already due to the lack of training and extra weight :( tsktsk. and i got to see lots of lifoong as she came back to refree. i miss that girl super much!

2nd August, Saturday was the National BK Quiz. One of the reasons why i was running around so much before this. it was fun and i super praise and thank God for providing the people who served and helped out. by God's grace and providence it all went well. :) praise God!

i went for Passion Kuala Lumpur on the 3rd of August! and it was good. it was pretty evangelical i must say. but it was a good reminder to the purpose of our lives here, that is to shout God's fame! the worship that night was powerful and refreshing. met loads of christian friends there too.

Greater things have yet to come
Greater things are still to be done in this city
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things have still to be done here

and then the other happy thing is that i passed my driving test!! cleanly :) praise the Lord!!

there's loads more to thank God for. but i should get going now. lots of stuff to do. i am struggling quite a bit in my studies.

Dear Lord,
thank you for being by my side always and for the strength and grace you provide each day. i need you so so so much. and i love you :)

But as for me, I trust in You.
Psalm 55:23

clothes on

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Colossians 3:12

this verse spoke to me during my days in National Service as a dorm leader. when i was first elected dorm leader, i found it quite a struggle. this was because i was already pretty much comfortable living in my own space and taking care of myself, and when i became the dorm leader it meant i had to look out for 20 other girls. and sometimes i found it frustrating and at other times i didn't know what i should be doing.

but even as i was worrying about it all and questioning why in the world did i have to become the dorm leader, this verse spoke to me.

the first thing that touched me was the words God's chosen people. it meant that God was the one who allowed me to be the leader, who opened the way for me. you see, i never did raise my hand on the first day and say "I want to be dorm leader!!" or anything like that. and like i said i was comfortable just being a pangkat-less trainee. but God somehow made it happened and that meant that i had even more reason to lead.

it was encouragement to know that i was God's holy and dearly loved, knowing that i was set apart and that God loves me. i believe God would never place someone He loves into a situation if He did not have a plan and purpose for it, even though it may be tough and disappointing at times.

it's easy to be a dorm leader, all i have to do is get the girls out of the dorm on time, make sure out dorm is clean, know who's sick or unwell, etc. typical tugas-tugas of a dorm leader. but i didn't want to be just another dorm leader who did all my tugas-tugas, i wanted to be a dorm leader that reflected Christ in my life. and i wondered how was i to do that.

and the next part of the verse spoke it all. clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. this was what was going to make me different and an effective leader for God. but i admit at times i struggled in clothing myself with these. i found it hard to be compassionate and kind when i was irritated by others. i found myself not being very gentle with my words and actions at times (usually my words and no, i didn't whack anyone). and when my dorm mates are taking their own sweet time to get out of the dorm and berbaris, my patience ran. at times i caught myself having pride in me and i had to remind myself to be humble before God. as you can see, i was far from being clothed completely with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

but i believe God has taught me much through my days as a dorm leader. and i hope that i did make a difference for Him, He made a BIG difference in my life there. i cannot imagine what my days there would have been like without Him.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Colossians 3:23

the verse says whatever you do. it doesn't say 'if you're doing cf work, then work hard at it' or 'if you're doing church work, then do it with all your heart'. but it say whatever you do, it means everything you do, every role you play, whether it's getting people out on time, homework, making sure your class is clean, helping your teacher,etc.

it doesn't matter what kind of leader you are, whether it's in a christian group or not. you may be a ketua kelas or ketua rumah or ketua kebersihan or ketua kumpulan for some project or a penolong or a cf leader, church leader, cell group leader or ...

whatever kind of leader you are, know that God has chosen you and that you play your role as a leader for Him. do it for God and see the difference it makes.

anyways, here's some pictures. memories as a dorm leader, i think the most important part of it at the end of the day was not whether i got the girls out on time or whether we had the cleanest dorm but the most important thing was the people themselves, the 23 other girls i had to look out for and care for. i mean looking back now, i don't remember how many times we were late to get in line and i don't think anyone does either. but i'll remember the girls, always.

the doors of my dorm. Dorm C :)

hin hin (my cantonese teacher) and i
mira, ain, me, azma

smiles :D

saza, ecah, me, farah, che-pah, iza

pei wen (my 'best dorm mate'. it's like a 'best friend') and i

seha and i

finishing it

tomorrow, i'll be leaving once again to Kelantan for National Service.

yes, i am completing it right till the end, hopefully, even though i could easily excuse myself with the reason of going back for form 6. and yes, i am really going back for form 6 after i finish my national service.

so let me share a bit of how NS has been so far. well, it's had its fair share of ups and downs. there's been loads of new things i've learned, experiences i wouldn't have found elsewhere, people i do not regret having known. well, there are also times when i really miss home and wished i was home. i've been in situations that seem so messy and tangled up. moments where i just want to give up. i've met people with all kinds of characters and attitudes.

but at the end of the day, when i reflect back, it has always been God who has been with me through the ups and the downs. He blesses me with the happy times and friends who care. He is my encouragement and guide in my sticky situations. He's my comfort when i feel broken and lonely. God has truly been so real to me in the past months.

and now i shall return back there, for the purpose for which He has called me too. that is to be a light there. i admit that my light there hasn't been as bright as it could have been and it has been a disappointment to me, but i continue to hope and pray that God will use my life there, for the weeks that are left, to be used as His tool in His plans.

Salt and Light (Matthew 5:13-16)
“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Lord, teach me to be salt and light to the people around me.
sometimes, it's just so hard to love those who've hurt me but Lord, teach me to love them with your love. because i know, you didn't just die for the lovable and easy to get along with people, but you died for each and every person here.
thank you, Lord for bringing me through so much and i pray i will continue to walk close to you.

till i see you again in june :) i'm going to finish it.

precious promises

cf camp was such a blessing to me. God is doing a new work in our cf and the lives of each and every person who went. He has shown me His grace and His awesome power. when we place Him as the center of our lives and the center of what we do, He will do great things. what happened in camp was not done by the committee or the leaders, but by God. camp was not good because of the human efforts, but because God did it.

i got to meet so many form 1's on my bus who are so so precious and dear to God. i saw the lives of those who were broken be touched by God. those who were tired and burning out were strengthened by God's mighty hand. and those who have strayed off the path, God has called them back.

the messages were simple yet powerful. the potential God has placed in us that we should live out. how we should die empty (you'll need to be there to understand this). how God has the best purpose and plans for our lives that we must pursue.

i got to enjoy the beautiful surroundings God placed on that mountain top, the coolness up there, and the many different people God placed around me.

for me, i had one desire after i left this camp. for God to create in me a heart filled with His love and His compassion for the people around me, all kinds of people, whether they are easy to love or not so easy to love, whether i've been hurt by them or not, whatever they've done or whoever they are, i want to love them like how Jesus loves them.

and believe me, it's super not easy. i can get pretty irritated and disappointed at times. but God shows me that Jesus didn't just die for the nice and lovable people, He did it for every person. amazing, huh.

and i can remember the camp verse! super long compared to last year's.

2 Peter 1:3-4
His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. Through this He has given us His very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

:)

apart from camp, i really thank and praise God for blessing me with good results for SPM, it was beyond my expectations. and i thank Him so much. for me it really proved that when we honour God with our lives, He will honour us too. really by His grace and blessings.

and so, in about 3 more days, i'll be leaving to National Service in Kelantan. i used to be all excited and okay with it, but now, i don't really know. i'm going to miss the people here. i'm going to miss church and cf. i'm going to miss my family. my home. i'm going to miss a lot.

and so, God's work in cf camp has not yet ended but has only just begun.

keep walking with God and making choices to follow Him. it may not be easy at all, but God is a mighty God and nothing is impossible for Him! i'm going to miss seeing the work continue for the next 3 months. but i will be praying for this work to continue to grow according to God's will.

Dear Lord,
i thank you for all you've done.
continue this work that you've begun in the lives of the people
and strengthen them to run the race for you!