Love them like Jesus

2008 has been ups and downs for me so far. goodness, and it's only halfway through january.

but it's true. there's so many things going on in my life right now. and certain things just seem so broken. and it really really hurts.

it's not just me. i know others who are going through so much too. and i just can't help but ask God - why??

why are we going through all these?
why do we find it so hard to love one another?
why are things so broken? why are situations so discouraging?
why do we seem so lost?
why? why? why?

but there seems to be no "correct" answer to it all. God never gave me a clear "because..." and that makes me keep wondering and it keeps getting more and more frustrating. in the end, i just want to give up all together.

but in the end i realize, if we keep asking "why" we never really get anywhere. instead, it should be committing circumstances and everything unto God and asking Him what he wants us to do. but it's not so easy, i admit.

it's not that we do not know what God wants us to do, it's more like we rather choose not to do it.

we know we should love others more, love them like how Jesus loves us and them. but can you honestly say, you are showing God's love through your life to the people around you? to the people who hurt you and who irritate you? who back stab you or go against you? it's really not easy to love everyone.

Love for Enemies (Luke 6:27-36)

“But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ lend to ‘sinners,’ expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

but this is what Jesus is asking us to do. the passage talks about loving our enemies. but somehow, it seems like we're not even loving and caring for the people around us, our friends, our classmates, our families, even other christians. how can we love our enemies, if even the people who we're with everyday, we don't show love to? is this obeying what God is asking us to do? i don't think so.

this is just a small part, there's so much more. and i'm sure all of it hurts God so much too, it breaks His heart. and it breaks mine too. what Jesus did on the cross for us, that love is so amazing and so wonderful, that love paid the price for the sins of man, that love sets us free! why then are we not sharing this great love with others? why then are our lives not showing this love of Christ?

it all boils down to our own decisions in the end. and for me, i want to start by trying to love and care for others more. to love them like how Jesus loves me. not easy, but i've got to start somewhere.

Dear Lord,
help me to love others, the way You love me.

But if we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way
There is a way

Casting Crowns - If We Are The Body

byebye 2007, hello 2008

the year has passed by so quickly. all in all, i had lots of memories in 2007. there were the good ones and there were the painful ones. there were so many moments in 2007.

it felt like one crazy roller coaster ride! there were ups, the downs and the 360 degrees turns.

at times i felt so close to God and other times so discouraged and distant, it hurt so much.

i won't say i am satisfied with the way i lived my life in 2007, i did and said things i regretted. i felt i was a hypocrite at times and it was such a hard thing to bear.

but i would say, 2007 has taught me a lot. i've seen so much of God's amazing grace and unending love, His forgiveness. it has at times comforted me and other times broken my heart.

i thank God for the people God has brought into my life. the encouragement and prayers they gave. God really pulled me through the year. with SPM, leading the CF, the demises of loved ones, farewells, etc.

2008 is going to be so different from the past year. for one thing, i don't go back to school in january. i'm going to NS in march and i'm going back in june for Form 6.

it marks another phase of my life. and i really don't know what to expect at times. so uncertain. yet i am assured that God is going to be with me through it all. and that in itself is a promise i know i can hold on to.

Dear Lord,
Thanks for bringing me through 2007.
this year, 2008, i pray that i will walk closer to You.
help me through the times of change,
and the times i feel uncertain and lost.
i commit the new year into Your hands.

looking back in december

time flies so super fast! it's scary!

it doesn't feel so long ago when i was still sitting for SPM. or when it ended and how relieving that felt.

the last paper

it doesn't feel so long ago that i went to cherating with the crazy-est bunch of friends.

the best friend :)

on the way there

the girls- wai yan . vei li . kay lynn . yen li . li foong

the guys- jonathan . khy li . thian hong . vincent

the last night of our trip

smk taman sea's prom 2007 seemed so fast.

the table

the prom date

there was the one day trip up to genting! where it was cold and windy and rainy at times.

there was our youth dinner - PERSONAGE. we dressed up :)

cruella de vil . pink ranger (fail). simon

sue ann . simon . and pink ranger unmasked - waiyan

finally a decent picture :)

christmas was hectic and flew by so quickly. i have to admit i didn't feel all christmas-y like how i usually do. it shouldn't be that way.

and today, the friends who've gotten the first batch of National Service have left.

2008 is in THREE days time!

vei li, yen li and kay lynn are going back to australia and new zealand soon! i'll be missing them.

most of the friends are starting college in january.

it was a good december, wished it didn't have to end. but it is going to. and so here comes the new year!

the last paper

yups. this is the LAST paper of SPM! and i felt it was the most important paper of them all - BIBLE KNOWLEDGE. and i really hope that i did my very very best for God! yups :) and this is why it's the most important!

Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth;
meditate on it day and night,
so that you may be careful to do everything written in it.
Then you will be prosperous and successful.
Joshua 1:8

the whole SPM has been a crazy amazingly full of grace period. so much of God's goodness everyday! i'm so super happy that it's over!

now, for the fun fun fun i've been awaiting :) teehee. trips, shopping, sleepovers, movies!

but first. the major clean up of my room which has been struck by the exam mess! :)

promises

i was talking to a friend today and he said something that made me realize a little more about myself. i have a problem. serious wan :(

i have a habit of making empty promises. promises that i don't keep or "conveniently" forget.

what he said made sense to me. even though, at first i thought those were just very small promises i had been breaking. like going for makan or for a drink, stuff like that.

but a promise is a promise. whether it is a BIG one or a small one.

breaking promises you make to your own self isn't as bad breaking promises made to others. you see, when you break a promise to yourself, the consequence of it is usually and mostly upon your own self. feelings of disappointment, regret and so on. but it usually doesn't affect the people around you that much. unless you're making the promise to yourself for another person, then that's a different story. do you get what i mean?

okay, for example, you promise yourself you'll start studying really hard for some exam. if you do keep the promise, good. but if you break it, the consequence is mostly faced by yourself. bad results and all that and the ever familiar "i should have studied when i had the time." see, the after effect is mostly upon you.

breaking promises made to other people affects both ways. you give fake hopes to others, lose their trust, and when you realize it, you start to feel guilty. and it's not a very nice feeling. i got pointed out today on some of my empty promises.

but we're all human and we are never perfect. so our lives get kind of messy at times. mistakes are made and so are promises that are never fulfilled. everyone breaks promises.

so why am i making a fuss about this whole promise thing? well, i realize i've broken too many promises. promises to people and promises to God. and i want to change.

but God is so amazingly loving even though everyone has made broken promises to Him. i mean, think about it, if the people you love so much made promises to you that make you so happy but then they break it in the end, wouldn't you feel disappointed? i would. but God still forgives and loves us so much :) amazing, huh.

God is the only one who keeps all His promises. and that's why we can trust Him in everything. there's so many promises in God's Word. promises that He will take care of us, promises that He will provide for us, really wonderful promises.

Heaven and earth will pass away,
but my words will never pass away.
Luke 21:33

Dear Lord,
thanks so much that i can trust in Your everlasting promises.
i'm sorry for the broken promises i've made to You and also to others.
help me to reflect You in my life by keeping to my words like how You keep to Yours.
Thank You for the amazing love that You give and for forgiving me.