promises

i was talking to a friend today and he said something that made me realize a little more about myself. i have a problem. serious wan :(

i have a habit of making empty promises. promises that i don't keep or "conveniently" forget.

what he said made sense to me. even though, at first i thought those were just very small promises i had been breaking. like going for makan or for a drink, stuff like that.

but a promise is a promise. whether it is a BIG one or a small one.

breaking promises you make to your own self isn't as bad breaking promises made to others. you see, when you break a promise to yourself, the consequence of it is usually and mostly upon your own self. feelings of disappointment, regret and so on. but it usually doesn't affect the people around you that much. unless you're making the promise to yourself for another person, then that's a different story. do you get what i mean?

okay, for example, you promise yourself you'll start studying really hard for some exam. if you do keep the promise, good. but if you break it, the consequence is mostly faced by yourself. bad results and all that and the ever familiar "i should have studied when i had the time." see, the after effect is mostly upon you.

breaking promises made to other people affects both ways. you give fake hopes to others, lose their trust, and when you realize it, you start to feel guilty. and it's not a very nice feeling. i got pointed out today on some of my empty promises.

but we're all human and we are never perfect. so our lives get kind of messy at times. mistakes are made and so are promises that are never fulfilled. everyone breaks promises.

so why am i making a fuss about this whole promise thing? well, i realize i've broken too many promises. promises to people and promises to God. and i want to change.

but God is so amazingly loving even though everyone has made broken promises to Him. i mean, think about it, if the people you love so much made promises to you that make you so happy but then they break it in the end, wouldn't you feel disappointed? i would. but God still forgives and loves us so much :) amazing, huh.

God is the only one who keeps all His promises. and that's why we can trust Him in everything. there's so many promises in God's Word. promises that He will take care of us, promises that He will provide for us, really wonderful promises.

Heaven and earth will pass away,
but my words will never pass away.
Luke 21:33

Dear Lord,
thanks so much that i can trust in Your everlasting promises.
i'm sorry for the broken promises i've made to You and also to others.
help me to reflect You in my life by keeping to my words like how You keep to Yours.
Thank You for the amazing love that You give and for forgiving me.

student for Christ

it's less than one month to SPM *gulps*

and recently, i just can't seem to sit down and study. i don't know but my attention span is super duper short. especially for sejarah *yawns* i always end up doing something else.

and then i look at the calender and realize that i have just a few weeks more. so i start to feel a little panic, actually mostly guilt for not studying.

sometimes i feel that studying is so pointless. take pendidikan moral for example. you have to remember 36 nilai's (values) and their definitions word for word. ugh. it's not like we want to learn all that. anyway, i don't think just memorizing all those nilai's makes you a very moral person.

or sejarah. i know history is important and we cannot be ignorant to what happened in the past. i didn't think history was that bad in form 1,2 and 3 but come form 4 and 5, truthfully i find it boring. like i-can-fall-asleep-halfway-on-the-book boring.

anyway, as i was saying i find studying really pointless at times. and i wonder, why am i studying? what is my goal? i think the whole purpose of studying for me is still a blur because i don't really have a goal or ambition at the moment. it's not like i'm studying to be a doctor or to get into college or something like that. yups, i'm still pretty sesat, career wise.

but you know what. i believe God has a plan for my life. and i trust Him to take care of me always. yups :) but i have my responsibility too! as He has placed me in school as a student, my purpose at the moment is to shine for Him among my the people around me and do my best in everything, that includes studying, and moral and sejarah.
because at the end of the day, i will say Praise the Lord for He is good! because whatever the results may be, good or bad, as long as i've done my best, i trust and believe that God will take care of my future and of me. Ahh, such sweet assurance.

so as for now, i will study my best so that at the end of the day, i can glorify God for His goodness! and to you, whether you're studying still or working or whatever you may be doing now and in future, do it all for God! relying on His grace and strength and not upon your own abilities and talents! God is an ever present help in times of trouble!

Colossians 3:23-24
Whatever you do,
work at it with all your heart,
as working for the Lord, not for men,
since you know that you will receive
an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.
It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

Dear Lord, help me in my studies. to do my very best for You. help me to trust in You. and to walk close to You everyday.

i am a student for Christ!