at the cross i bow my knee

Philippians 2:1-11 (Imitating Christ's Humility)

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also the interests of others.

Your attitude should be he same as that of Christ Jesus:

Who, being in the very nature of God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

the week before was - fuhh, really busy!! netball and cf camp stuffs. i thank God that my life's pace has slowed down a lot this week before i get a heart attack!

but in that fast paced week, i learned a lot. i learned what it is to trust God to know what's best for my life, and i learnt to be obedient to Him, even if it means giving up what i want and what i think is best for my life. and i learnt how hard it really is.

i understand a little bit clearer now what it is to let go of things in obedience to Christ, to humble myself and allow Him to do what He wants in my life. to be an imitator of Christ's humility, and to bow my knee before the cross and say, "Lord, have your way in me."

i've always thought that i knew what it means to give up all for God's call, but when it came to giving up one really simple thing in my life, i struggled to do so. even to the point of reasoning it out in human terms to myself, when i knew that i couldn't do that to God's calling. but God told me to trust and to obey. to humble myself before Him and lay it all down at His feet.

so, i did.

and i thank God for teaching me to obey and to listen. and i thank Him for His grace that despite me trying to reason things out and trying to get my own way, He didn't give up on me and stop speaking, but He kept directing and speaking to me about what i was supposed to do.

Lord, thank you for all you've done. :)
Lord, thank you for laying down your life for me.
Continue to mould my life to be what you want it to be.
help me to come everyday before your cross
and lay my life before you and after that take up my cross and follow you.

" He is no fool if he gives what he cannot keep, to gain what he cannot lose. "
- Jim Elliot

already?

it's february already. one month has passed since the year started.

bye, january 2009 that won't come again :( it has been a lovely journey.

i learnt so so much. starting the year with You, Lord was amazing; knowing that You were taking me on a journey, an adventure.

thank You for giving me a glimpse of the great things you are about to do in my country - malaysia during the Mini Malaysian Youth Prayer Gathering (MYPG) in Kuantan, BersatUnite and even the Local Youth Prayer Gathering (LYPG) you have started in my city, KL/PJ.

thank You for the promises and encouragements given. thank You, Lord, for forgiveness. i am so excited to see the things you have in your heart for malaysia. Lord, open my eyes to see and my ears to hear.

well, the first day of school was quite a dread. i just sat on my bed in the morning, dreading to go to school, even to the point of crying :( i just wasn't "ready" and holidays were so much more funner and meaningful. well, i just wasn't prepared to go back and i just assumed school would be filled with work, work, work.

but God encouraged me, telling me that i cannot look at school through my own eyes anymore, because my view of school was all tainted. like a glass that is dirty and stained and every time i looked at school through the glass i dreaded and i didn't like it. i have to look at school through the eyes of God, through the eyes of my Father. and when i looked through His eyes, school was a harvest field, a place where people were broken and lost and they needed the love of God and i had a purpose in school.

and that made all the difference, that made my days in school a whole lot better and purposeful, knowing that i do not go in alone, knowing that God is with me and there is a purpose for me to be there. i've learned to look at form 6 through the eyes of my Father. i still struggle, it's tiring at times, it's worrying and frustrating too sometimes, but i know i am not abandoned.

later on in the week, God showed me a way i could be salt and light in my school. He told me it would start among my classmates. He said to me "waiyan, there's 14 people in your class, 13 excluding you. and how many days do you spend in school, far more than 13. why don't you love each one of them throughout this year, love them with my love. not just those you are already close with, those that you get along so well with, but those who you barely talk to. love them. because I love them." and i told God, " Lord, i can't just randomly hug someone in class everyday and say 'Jesus loves you and so do i'. Lord, i need you to provide avenues, open doors, let there be opportunities for me to love them." and He assured me that He would.

and that day, He did open a door for me to love someone. He allowed me to talk to one of the girls in my class who i never really talked to, He provided a situation for me to do so. i didn't have some super holy conversation about God or anything of that sort with her, but it was a start just being able to sit with her and talk. and i thank God for it.

and that hasn't been the only one. it doesn't happen everyday, though i wish it would. and i haven't shown the love of Christ to everyone of them yet, but i know God will make a way in His time. and i have no idea what to expect. but i pray that i will be obedient, that i will listen and not just do things on my own wisdom and ambitions. i know that i cannot love them wholly with my own human love and that is why i need to love them with the love of Christ.

*erm, if any of my classmates somehow find their way to this post, i hope you will not think that i'm a weird love-addict or some hippie with the message "spread the love" or something like that. i just want to tell you that Jesus loves YOU and so do i! have a nice day and see you in school :D

and then there's the amazing work God is doing in our school cf. i believe God has so much install for us and i thank Him so much for all He has done. we're coming back to Him, we're coming back to be His people in this school He has placed us in; not by chance but for a purpose.

the change didn't just happen overnight, but it happened and i praise God! i know that most of you who might read this may be clueless about this, but it's just something that i have to, have to thank God for! but i admit, i do struggle even in serving and sometimes i am discouraged, but i know God is faithful. He is faithful, forever and ever and ever.

God showed me the power of prayer in my own life. He showed me that nothing, absolutely nothing is impossible for Him!

For nothing is impossible with God.
Luke 1:37

and that is so true :) nothing, not even the works of the enemy can stop the will of God. so, do not be dismayed or give up when things don't go the way you expect them to go, instead keep praying because in His time, God will bring you through!

even at this point, i am so in awe at how God has worked in my life even in the short time of one month. and He has done and taught me so many things, i cannot type it all out. for one it is just too many, and for another i am getting sleepy. so two last things which are also the two most recent.

i met up with some of my christian friends from NS after a crazy long period of EIGHT months! thanks to melissa who got the bunch of us together. gosh, i really love and miss them all. they were such a wonderful bunch of people who encouraged and loved me and i loved them too when we were all far far away from home. i'm really glad to see that they are still walking with God and i pray that they will grow even more, becoming more intimate with Christ everyday.

we have to have more meet ups lah. and that meet up was kinda rushed for me too, cause that very same day i was going to go for the youth-ties retreat.

just today, i got back from our church's youth-ties (youth + twenties) leaders' retreat. 11 of us went up to bukit tinggi from 30th January-1st February. and it was such a wonderful place, we were surrounded by God's creation, green and tall trees as we looked out from the balcony, blue skies with birds flying, mist that covered the hills in the morning, and at night, the stars that twinkled in the sky (not as fuiyoh as the night sky in NS but still quite fuiyoh when compared to PJ). and God is a great great great God to have created all that and more! wow!

God was with us leading us. He showed us so much. He gave us a whole new plan to go by, totally different from what we were so used to. it was a reformation. He spoke to us individually, personally, as a youth group, as leaders, as christians, as the body of Christ, as malaysians. He just revealed so much to us. and i pray we will please Him and be obedient to Him. i really do not want to let Him down. and like i said so many times, it's exciting!

the time spent there was lovely. we were healed, we were reconciled, we were directed, we had fun :) and i thank God for the people God has placed in my life, especially those who have impacted my walk with God. i love love them so much :)

Lord, You are great. and i love You.
Lord, i pray and commit the rest of 2009 into Your hands and trust You to know what's best for me. i'm excited to go on this adventure with You. February is going to be meaningful, because You are with me! and i pray, help me to be obedient and listening to You because i know how i can get so caught up in stuff. and that i too will please You with my life.

toodles! and have a nice day :)