cause stuff like that makes me happy

happy inducers, that's what these are :)

#1

my mom arranged my soft toys :)

noticed them when i was studying on my bed.

#2

ladybugs :)

bought them at a very reasonable price :D

#3

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! XD

anyway, on a more meaningful tone, today during LYPG, i learned that God must rid me of my prejudices, of my pride, of my self-righteousness and of my sins. and that i must look at things through God's viewpoint and not my own. to not be discouraged and deterred or satisfied and complacent with what i see until i see things at His viewpoint. when we start to see things from our Lord's viewpoint, we see the people, the needs, the situations, etc. that He sees. and then only God can break our hearts for what breaks His and then we will be compelled to love like Christ loves.

"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." - Matthew 26:41

Jesus asks us to watch with Him. watch, look at the things around us, the needs. watch with Christ, watch at His viewpoint and pray. when we do so, we can do so much more than when we use all our human wisdom, logic, knowledge, experience, compassion. because it is God who is moving.

and while we were praying, God reminded me of this song.

Our heart, our desire

Is to see the nations worship

Our cry, our prayer

Is to sing Your praise to the ends of the earth

That with one mighty voice

Every tribe and tongue rejoices

Our hearts, our desire

Is to see the nations worship You

i've heard this song before, but recently kentrick sent me a youtube video of it. :)

and as we prayed today, it came to my mind again. and i realized, i can only sing this song with true conviction and meaning, only if i stand at God's viewpoint and look from there. because if i don't see the world, the nations, the people, the lost from His viewpoint, i won't understand how great the Father's love is for them.

so what next after standing with Christ and looking from His viewpoint? what next after He reveals and makes us realizes the things around us? what next after we pray for all these? what next when He breaks our hearts for what breaks His? what next when He fills our hearts with love and compassion, His love and compassion?

next, GO.

go; go to those around us. go in obedience to what He tells us to do. go in faith knowing God's ways are higher than our ways. go, but don't go ahead of God. most of all don't go without Him.

Lord, let me look at things from Your viewpoint. open my eyes to see what you see. break the tainted glass i've been looking through. i want to care for others like how Jesus cares for me. send me, and i will go.

cause He loved us so much

For God so loved the world

that He gave His one and only Son,

that whoever believes in Him

shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16

Jesus loves and cares for you :)

cause it's a taiwan drama

my grandma loves watching dramas. it used to be those hong kong dramas, the doctor ones, the police ones, the firemen ones, the lawyer ones, the olden days ones, etc.

and i think starting last year, it was taiwan dramas. the hokkien ones. we rarely catch any mandarin dramas. one thing about these taiwan hokkien dramas is that they are SUPER SUPER SUPER long!! like they're showed five times a week and they're more than one year long. yeah, do the math.

it's like the kids can grow up, fall in love, have their kids and their kids grow up and continuations like that. and it's not fast forwards and flashbacks, it's long! yeaps.

and they're so so so drama. in the middle of some huge dilemma kind of thing they can cry at every episode for weeks! where do their never ending supply of tears come from?

other than that, 8tv has been showing a few of these dramas like from 4pm to 7pm. so, one drama is an hour, the times are back to back, 4pm to 5pm, 5pm to 6pm, 7pm to 8pm. my grandma watches it straight through!

but the thing about that is there are a few actors who act in all three shows! it get so confusing! it's like, he was the bad guy here and then he's the hero in the next show. and these two were a couple in one show, and they're with different people in the next one. urgh, confusing!

i only allow myself to watch one of these now so it's not too bad.

haha, but i admit sometimes i get pretty intrigued by the dramas too, like how can their lives be so over excessively filled with drama! and i watch with my grandma too, only if i so happen to be in the living room while it's on. :)

the last episode i watched sparked my desire to put this here. seriously, where do they get their storyline from? it's long, twisted, filled with different kinds of drama...

i'll tell you a bit. and you see how super duper duper drama it gets! and you don't know what other dramas and dilemmas they've been having since the show began. neither do i, cause there's too many.

okay, where do i begin.

this starts in the middle of the series, so i can't start with once upon a time. it starts with, in the middle of the show somewhere...

De Hui the daughter of a lady called Yue Mei starts working for a company with a lady boss named Yu Qin and her spoilt daughter named An An. so there's some drama between De Hui and An An who cannot get along. Yu Qin and An An live with Yu Qin's old rich father in law. Yu Qin's husband, Wen Bin, is apparently dead.

fast forward, and we find that Yue Mei once knew Wen Bin and were lovers and De Hui is their child. but when Yu Mei was pregnant with De Hui, Wen Bin left them to go back as a filial son to help his father by marrying some business man's daughter which is Yu Qin. Wen Bin doesn't love Yu Qin (duh, cause he loves Yue Mei) and Yu Qin has a daughter named An An. everyone thinks An An is Wen Bin's daughter but actually she's Yu Qin and Tian Bao's (some manager in the company, he's like the bad guy) daughter. which only Yu Qin and Tian Bao know and maybe Wen Bin but he's dead so never mind.

after many weeks of drama, finding Wen Bin's secret rooms, letters...everyone knows De Hui is also Wen Bin's daughter and so Yue Mei and De Hui join the rich family.

then i stopped watching for a while, until last week.

and the update is, Wen Bin didn't die! he was in a coma, sent to america and was being treated there and now he's awake and he comes back to taiwan. next thing you know, Yue Mei's in a coma (i'm not too sure why, must've not watched those episodes) and suddenly, she's awake again and they have a surprise wedding for the two of them. some corny lines thrown in between, 'i love you's and 'i can't stand to be not married to you for a single second now...'

fast forward again, suddenly, Yue Mei is kissing Tian Bao?! HUH?! right, i know. and she's saying stuff like 'try to remember when i promised i'll be by your side forever...' and there's flashbacks of Yu Qin and Tian Bao. then suddenly this lady, Yu Hua, bursts into the room and scolds Yue Mei for trying to break her and Tian Bao's relationship. she's Yu Qin's sister. plot thickens. Yu Qin has apparently committed suicide. so they start shouting at one another. and Tian Bao says he loves Yu Hua now and that he will marry her. Yue Mei's devastated and no one knows why.

Yue Mei treats An An nicely and it's weird cause they were arch nemesis earlier on. well, An An isn't as spoilt as she used to be. suddenly this girl named Shan Shan who is the daughter of some man and who knows Yu Hua as the woman her father loves pops into the picture and tells Yue Mei she knows everything! turns out this Shan Shan girl is very smart but i don't know how she knows (i must've missed those episodes too).

so, turns out. the real Yue Mei never woke up from her coma and is undergoing treatment in america (everyone goes for coma treatment in america). Yu Qin jumped off the dock but was saved by Yu Hua and brings her to america. Yu Hua is a super canggih plastic surgeon. and Yu Qin wants revenge, so Yu Hua does some super plastic surgery on her and she becomes Yue Mei! i know, how twisted! so, "Yue Mei" who is actually Yu Qin comes back to taiwan and the first revenge she has is, she marries that Wen Bin guy. poor Wen Bin has been tricked twice to marry the woman he never loved. things get out of hand though and she wants to go back and be the original Yu Qin cause she still loves Tian Bao. but but but, Yu Hua, her plastic surgeon sister has started a romance with Tian Bao and refuses to change Yu Qin back to her old self, cause that'd mean she'll lose Tian Bao.

and then, fast forward again, Yu Qin who looks like Yue Mei now wants to prove that she is Yu Qin to Tian Bao so she is going to do a DNA test. clever lady. so, she gets his DNA and gets a strand of hair from An An their daughter. Shan Shan who is also quite clever finds out and switches An An's strand of hair with her own. she says as long as the results a screwed up.

so there's a whole drama session between Tian Bao and "Yue Mei" who is actually Yu Qin while Shan Shan listens nearby. shouting, crying, explaining, i don't belive you's, you are crazy, all that sort of thing.

so, time for the DNA results to be shown. it's a 99.99% match! Tian Bao is stunned. Shan Shan stomps in and says, cannot be! and assumes that Yu Qin is so clever to have taken another hair sample. but Yu Qin says she didn't. aiyo. at that time, Yu Hua comes in and says, yes, the DNA results are true and that is doesn't only show that Yue Mei is Yu Qin but that Shan Shan is actually Tian Bao and Yu Qin's daughter. didn't expect that, did you!

the story is, Yu Qin had twins. and Yu Qin says impossible, i mean how can you not know that two babies are coming out of you, right? Yu Hua explains that there were complications, and she fainted so she doesn't know what happened in between. and that An An was born healthy but Shan Shan was a weak baby that the doctors said had a low chance of survival. so, without the knowledge of Tian Bao and Yu Qin, they decide to discard Shan Shan. Yu Hua cannot bear it so she saves Shan Shan and takes her to america or some where else to live. and puts her under the care of her so called father. of course Shan Shan is wrecked!

and then the episode ended.

twisted twisted, drama drama. i'm just showing you a tiny bit of the show. there's like a thousand and one more cases such as mixed up kids, finding out of real parents, lost siblings suddenly found, etc.

two things learned,

firstly, when you want to take a character out of the series for a while and you don't want it to be permanent so that maybe you could use them to add to the drama later on, put them into a coma.

secondly, send all your coma patients to america for treatment. :D

oklah, i'm off to study now. taa! :)

cause sometimes it's like that...

To Lizbie Browne

By Thomas Hardy

I

Dear Lizbie Browne,

Where are you now?

In sun, in rain? -

Or is your brow

Past joy, past pain,

Dear Lizbie Browne?

II

Sweet Lizbie Browne

How you could smile,

How you could sing! -

How archly wile

In glance-giving,

Sweet Lizbie Browne!

III

And, Lizbie Browne,

Who else had hair

Bay-red as yours,

Or flesh so fair

Bred out of doors,

Sweet Lizbie Browne?

IV

When, Lizbie Browne,

You had just begun

To be endeared

By stealth to one,

You disappeared

My Lizbie Browne!

V

Ay, Lizbie Browne,

So swift your life,

And mine so slow,

You were a wife

Ere I could show

Love, Lizbie Browne.

VI

Still, Lizbie Browne,

You won, they said,

The best of men

When you were wed . . .

Where went you then,

O Lizbie Browne?

VII

Dear Lizbie Browne,

I should have thought,

"Girls ripen fast,"

And coaxed and caught

You ere you passed,

Dear Lizbie Browne!

VIII

But, Lizbie Browne,

I let you slip;

Shaped not a sign;

Touched never your lip

With lip of mine,

Lost Lizbie Browne!

IX

So, Lizbie Browne,

When on a day

Men speak of me

As not, you'll say,

"And who was he?" -

Yes, Lizbie Browne!

joanne was english litting (if there is such a word) today and i helped her a bit to count syllabus and match endings.

and i fell in love with this poem. ♥

so sad lah this poem :(

imagine if that Lizbie Browne girl read the poem one day. how would she react...hmm...

this poem's pretty straightforward compared to some others i read out of her book.

poor thomas hardy :( joanne says most poets are depressed. hmm.

tomorrow, school's on again. good and bad thing, heh.

and congrats all form 3 students :) PMR is no more!

cause we need motivation :D

how many more days to stpm again?

THIRTY EIGHT? hmm...

that's not too far away...*panic!*

so, we've been having a study break for about a week and a half now also because there's PMR (which ends tomorrow, those were the days lah) and joanne, sue ann, kentrick and i have been studying in church almost everyday (minus weekends).

pretty conducive i must say. no distractions like the teevee, internet, sleeping...

so, i thank God that at least there's been progress. :)

study partner, joanne.

we need to be at different tables so that we don't talk.

motivation :)

'Eat Nasi Lemak' was the first thing ticked off :)

she said, "eh, why do you need to bend when we take pictures..?"

i said, "let's take another." and i didn't bend this time...

she said, "eh, can bend down, please?"

hahahaha :) funny girl.

apart from that, celebrated rachel and michelle's birthday at italianies and after that at laundry last friday. should be the last of its kind (these celebrations) till the exams are over.

the standard stand on the chair do.

birthday girls :)

the whole bunch.

minus chuan chuen who was taking the picture.

more birthday pictures here.

okay, back to the books.

and study break end tomorrow :(

i like study breaks...

Lord, keep me close to you.

cause it's the simple things that make you smile

but most the time, these simple things only God can do :)

on the way home from church with joanne today, we were caught in a traffic jam talking about some issues and this and thats.

but something caught our attention.

and it was so pretty! so huge! so white and fluffy!

so simple, yet amazing.

we saw a huge "popcorn cloud" :D

white and fluffy.

you can't see it here but it does look like a popcorn!

it's huge!

looks more popcorny here :)

thank you, Lord, for your simple yet amazing creations :)

cause you light up my life :)

that's what God does in our hearts when we allow Him to come in :)

He lights up our hearts and our lives.

not in the sense that everything becomes smooth sailing magically or that all our troubles fade away. but in the sense that there is now hope, love, joy and peace and also a purpose in our hearts.

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.

Live as children of light

(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord.

Ephesians 5:8-10

God, thank you for lighting up my life :)

i love you ♥

cause we need friends to lean on

...and to shop with :D hee.

i hope things will get better. i hope that you'll keep holding on to hope. i know it's really frustrating and painful especially deep inside. i see the brokenness, the hurts and open wounds. and sometimes, most of the time, i don't know what should i say or do.

i pray that you'll find a way and a hope that will bring you through. i pray that you'll have strength to face it all the way. but i really really hope and pray that you'll have the love and grace and compassion to forgive. forgive so that relationships can be restored and healed. forgive so that this whole thing will not be buried inside you. because i really hope that you'll break free from this cycle. i don't believe it's a dead end and that you're stuck with it forever.

i only know one savior and i know that He is true. i hope you'll find Him one day and let Him bring you through.

this i hope for you. ♥

cause we all need a break, sometimes.

hello.

so, i've gotten back all my results. and i'm not too pleased with them, i know i must must must work harder. but i thank God still. i guess despite me not being satisfied, there's a lot of His grace involved and also my insufficient last minute cramming (which was not sufficient).

i've had stuff going on since trials ended and also during the Hari Raya break. one of the reasons why malaysia is awesome - holidays! :D and i promised i'd update.

so, there was G-Force with the 'back row people' minus prarthini :( we went to the curve. we makan-ed, shopped, walked around, watched G-Force, walked around some more, chatted, karaoke-ed in those RM1 per song booths, and then kentrick and i left while michelle and rachel stayed on. all in all, i enjoyed the company :)

karaoke girls :) hahaha...

and michelle has an exceptionally good stamina when it comes to shopping while the three of us where slowing down..

kentrick, rachel and myself snapping away while michelle's in Nichii trying on clothes.

told you she had stamina while the rest of us got malas.

more pictures here.

and then there was our trip to Zoo Negara, some PPBC-ian Youths & Rachael Wong's students (mostly younger students, like Form 1's). i've haven't been to the zoo in super duper duper long! some of the animals there look quite sad :( but some are looking pretty fine. the giraffes and elephants are by far my favorites, cause they're so friendly! :) the other animals all anti-social or are too far away. but i guess we won't want tiger, lions and alligators coming too close to us, would we. and i got to carry three snakes, a super tiny one, a tiny one and a big one :)

the baby python :) i like.

more animal pictures here.

thank you brandon and rachael and all who helped plan and transport us there for the trip. i had lots of lots of fun :) though i was superr tired after the trip.

and then there was thePLAN09! the mission conference i mentioned, remember, remember? :) anyway, it was during the Hari Raya holidays and was held in Melaka. and it was beyond me, God is always beyond us anyway. i don't know why, but it was different from other camps i'd gone for. and the things God did was amazing.

on the mission side, you know how we kind of stereotype 'missions' to be going to some poor third world country or some ulu place in the middle of nowhere and telling them about Jesus, well it's more than that. it's bringing Christ in our lives wherever we go. whether you're in school, university, your workplace, out in the jungles, etc. wherever you are, bring God with you, bring God to the people around you who don't know Him yet. that's our mission.

not easy really. it's hard especially when you don't like the people sometimes. but God loves each and every single person, and Jesus died for everyone, the nice, not nice, good, bad, every single one, He loves. it starts with prayer, asking God to change our hearts to be like His, to fill our hearts with His love for the world. and as we do, we will change to be more and more like Christ, and hopefully we would be a generation of missionaries that belong to God.

on a personal basis, lots of humbling in my life. He revealed to me how proud and comfortable i'd gotten with life and how displeasing it was. it was very hurtful at first but it really showed me how much i need God. and He reminded me of my purpose for Him and rekindled His fire and passion in my heart.

oh, i pray that it's not just hype, but a point in my life where i go on from there walking closer to God.

besides that, met lots of people, new and old friends. heard amazing testimonies from people who've been involved in missions and also those who were save through missions, rested and refreshed my walk with God, enjoyed myself, enjoyed His presence. so, that's thePLAN09 in a nutshell. yes, there's more, more amazing things. but this will do, for now :)

and i pray that it will go on from here. not ending when camp ended, but that the PLAN which is God's PLAN will be worked out, lived out in our lives until Christ comes again.

next up, Joshua Tay's now in UKland, studying. but before he left last wednesday, we met up on friday morning. had dim sum and went for a random LRT ride. where we got a random idea. i'll let the video do the explaining :)

facebook pictures are here.

it was fun :) hope you're having a bomb of a time in UKland, Joshua!

and then later that day, i went for the GreenHouse BBQ. it went pretty well, i guess. sufficient amount of food and drinks. good company :) fire that started well, charcoal that burnt well, food that was cooked properly, marshmallows oh marshmallows :D didn;t snap to many pictures though, hand were oily. eee.

mun chien :) thank you for organizing this BBQ and all that you've done :)

di sern also helped start fires.

oh, and thanks for being GreenHouse's Awesome Captain :D

happy makan-ers :)

sureen, yong khang and i.

like i said, good company :)

and this di sern is funny.

see, mun chien asked me to mix the cordial and stuff for drinks and i took the limau cordial, and di sern shouted,

"EH! wait, don't! that's OIL!"

haha, oklahh, it does look like oil lah.

but his reaction was pretty funny.

smelled smoky at the end. heh.

i can't believe it's october already, another year is coming to an end. fast. and i guess i should really treasure the days i have in school with the people God has placed around me. cause i know, i'll miss it though i complain now. there's no Form 7 to come back to. haha.

but days in school are fun. haha, 1.40pm on monday seemed sooooo draggy, but 1.40pm tuesday, wednesday and thursday just came quickly and we always say "Eh, don't want to go home arr?"

time flies when you're having fun :)

it was kentrick's birthday on the 29th of September and we had a little something for him :) and the rest of the day was enjoyed together.

birthday boy.

happy birthday!

it was truly a fun day. did lots of silly things. see, rachel's calculator used to be studded with those shiny things. and she decided to strip them off that day. so we started pasting them on our faces, pretending they were nose studs and whatnots. and rachel took it to a whole new level.

haha!

those diamond things go swell with inky motifs on paper serviettes too :)

more silly pictures here :)

so, anyway...STPM calls.

i've got a study break for about one and a half weeks.

dear God, please help me to use my time wisely.

toughest subject for me at the moment :(

take care & God bless You :)