looking back in december

time flies so super fast! it's scary!

it doesn't feel so long ago when i was still sitting for SPM. or when it ended and how relieving that felt.

the last paper

it doesn't feel so long ago that i went to cherating with the crazy-est bunch of friends.

the best friend :)

on the way there

the girls- wai yan . vei li . kay lynn . yen li . li foong

the guys- jonathan . khy li . thian hong . vincent

the last night of our trip

smk taman sea's prom 2007 seemed so fast.

the table

the prom date

there was the one day trip up to genting! where it was cold and windy and rainy at times.

there was our youth dinner - PERSONAGE. we dressed up :)

cruella de vil . pink ranger (fail). simon

sue ann . simon . and pink ranger unmasked - waiyan

finally a decent picture :)

christmas was hectic and flew by so quickly. i have to admit i didn't feel all christmas-y like how i usually do. it shouldn't be that way.

and today, the friends who've gotten the first batch of National Service have left.

2008 is in THREE days time!

vei li, yen li and kay lynn are going back to australia and new zealand soon! i'll be missing them.

most of the friends are starting college in january.

it was a good december, wished it didn't have to end. but it is going to. and so here comes the new year!

the last paper

yups. this is the LAST paper of SPM! and i felt it was the most important paper of them all - BIBLE KNOWLEDGE. and i really hope that i did my very very best for God! yups :) and this is why it's the most important!

Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth;
meditate on it day and night,
so that you may be careful to do everything written in it.
Then you will be prosperous and successful.
Joshua 1:8

the whole SPM has been a crazy amazingly full of grace period. so much of God's goodness everyday! i'm so super happy that it's over!

now, for the fun fun fun i've been awaiting :) teehee. trips, shopping, sleepovers, movies!

but first. the major clean up of my room which has been struck by the exam mess! :)

promises

i was talking to a friend today and he said something that made me realize a little more about myself. i have a problem. serious wan :(

i have a habit of making empty promises. promises that i don't keep or "conveniently" forget.

what he said made sense to me. even though, at first i thought those were just very small promises i had been breaking. like going for makan or for a drink, stuff like that.

but a promise is a promise. whether it is a BIG one or a small one.

breaking promises you make to your own self isn't as bad breaking promises made to others. you see, when you break a promise to yourself, the consequence of it is usually and mostly upon your own self. feelings of disappointment, regret and so on. but it usually doesn't affect the people around you that much. unless you're making the promise to yourself for another person, then that's a different story. do you get what i mean?

okay, for example, you promise yourself you'll start studying really hard for some exam. if you do keep the promise, good. but if you break it, the consequence is mostly faced by yourself. bad results and all that and the ever familiar "i should have studied when i had the time." see, the after effect is mostly upon you.

breaking promises made to other people affects both ways. you give fake hopes to others, lose their trust, and when you realize it, you start to feel guilty. and it's not a very nice feeling. i got pointed out today on some of my empty promises.

but we're all human and we are never perfect. so our lives get kind of messy at times. mistakes are made and so are promises that are never fulfilled. everyone breaks promises.

so why am i making a fuss about this whole promise thing? well, i realize i've broken too many promises. promises to people and promises to God. and i want to change.

but God is so amazingly loving even though everyone has made broken promises to Him. i mean, think about it, if the people you love so much made promises to you that make you so happy but then they break it in the end, wouldn't you feel disappointed? i would. but God still forgives and loves us so much :) amazing, huh.

God is the only one who keeps all His promises. and that's why we can trust Him in everything. there's so many promises in God's Word. promises that He will take care of us, promises that He will provide for us, really wonderful promises.

Heaven and earth will pass away,
but my words will never pass away.
Luke 21:33

Dear Lord,
thanks so much that i can trust in Your everlasting promises.
i'm sorry for the broken promises i've made to You and also to others.
help me to reflect You in my life by keeping to my words like how You keep to Yours.
Thank You for the amazing love that You give and for forgiving me.

student for Christ

it's less than one month to SPM *gulps*

and recently, i just can't seem to sit down and study. i don't know but my attention span is super duper short. especially for sejarah *yawns* i always end up doing something else.

and then i look at the calender and realize that i have just a few weeks more. so i start to feel a little panic, actually mostly guilt for not studying.

sometimes i feel that studying is so pointless. take pendidikan moral for example. you have to remember 36 nilai's (values) and their definitions word for word. ugh. it's not like we want to learn all that. anyway, i don't think just memorizing all those nilai's makes you a very moral person.

or sejarah. i know history is important and we cannot be ignorant to what happened in the past. i didn't think history was that bad in form 1,2 and 3 but come form 4 and 5, truthfully i find it boring. like i-can-fall-asleep-halfway-on-the-book boring.

anyway, as i was saying i find studying really pointless at times. and i wonder, why am i studying? what is my goal? i think the whole purpose of studying for me is still a blur because i don't really have a goal or ambition at the moment. it's not like i'm studying to be a doctor or to get into college or something like that. yups, i'm still pretty sesat, career wise.

but you know what. i believe God has a plan for my life. and i trust Him to take care of me always. yups :) but i have my responsibility too! as He has placed me in school as a student, my purpose at the moment is to shine for Him among my the people around me and do my best in everything, that includes studying, and moral and sejarah.
because at the end of the day, i will say Praise the Lord for He is good! because whatever the results may be, good or bad, as long as i've done my best, i trust and believe that God will take care of my future and of me. Ahh, such sweet assurance.

so as for now, i will study my best so that at the end of the day, i can glorify God for His goodness! and to you, whether you're studying still or working or whatever you may be doing now and in future, do it all for God! relying on His grace and strength and not upon your own abilities and talents! God is an ever present help in times of trouble!

Colossians 3:23-24
Whatever you do,
work at it with all your heart,
as working for the Lord, not for men,
since you know that you will receive
an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.
It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

Dear Lord, help me in my studies. to do my very best for You. help me to trust in You. and to walk close to You everyday.

i am a student for Christ!

God's Grace

God has been so amazingly full of grace to me this whole year, comforting and assuring me that He will take care of me through the tough and difficult situations. In the past two months, He has been so real to me in so many ways. I really need Him so much in my life every single step of the way.

SPM trials were one of those "tough times" this year. i really really do not fancy exams with all those late nights and early mornings. and i praise and thank God for blessing me with the results i got. :) looking back at all the years, He has blessed me so so much in my studies. i am so undeserving and i realised it's truly because of His grace.

Aunty Alice passed away last month. and i miss her a lot too. her life was one that was so full of faith and trust in God. being broken and in so much pain and hurt, she never ceased to praise God. prayer was a lifestyle for her. and i know she always prayed for our family. i've learned so much from her life, how blessed i am, a faith in God that is unshakable because its foundation is upon His Word and so much more. and i believe she's in a far better place now with God, where she is freed of her pain and is rejoicing. :)

NieNie left for UK two weeks ago. and i really miss her. she has been such a blessing and encouragement. for someone who's always been there for me, who has been there when i was struggling through something, it was hard to say goodbye knowing that i would face many more struggles in the future. but i am assured and i thank God that i have Him with me in every circumstance. :) i pray that God will continue to bring her to new levels of faith and i know that He is watching and caring for her. I Love You!

Grandpa passed away last night. we'll be going back to Ipoh today. and i really regret not going back with the family the last time they went back. i really love and miss my grandpa. i still remember when we were younger he'd buy us jelly and chocolates when we went back to Ipoh. he loved us so much. i really pray that my mom will be comforted by God's love, the news is probably hardest on her. i trust God to take care of this situation.

yeaps. it's been pretty tough. but i know that God did not just leave us to get through these hard times on our own. He is so full of grace and compassion. and in every situation, i will praise Him.
in time to come, i will face other circumstances. bigger and tougher ones. and i pray that i would still be able to say that i will trust in God and praise Him no matter what.

Rainbows are reminders of God's grace and love for me :)

The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised.
Job 1:21

Dear God,
Thank You for your love and grace that carries me through.
In every situation, i will praise You!

this is our land - MALAYSIA

i love Malaysia! :) the food, the places, the unpredictable weather, the people, the culture, etc. i thank God for it all. this is our 50th year of kemerdekaan. and i thank God for all He has been doing in Malaysia.

i believe God has placed me here in this land for a reason. and that reason is to be salt and light to the people here in Malaysia. to be a blessing to them and a channel of God's love too. and to pray for my country.

and as Christians this is our purpose - to pray for our country.

If My people, who are called by My name,
will humble themselves and pray
and seek My face and from their wicked ways,
then will I hear from heaven
and will forgive their sins and will heal their land.

2 Chronicles 7:14

yes, let us humble ourselves and come to God seeking and praying for our land. let us turn from our wrong ways and ask God for His grace to be upon our land. For this verse from the Bible is God's promise to us. He will heal our land.

instead of just complaining about the wrong things going on, let's bring before God all these issues. and ask Him to bless our land. to bless our country's leaders and for wisdom in the decisions they make. ask God for unity and for His grace to be amongst the people. let's live our lives in righteousness and as examples to those around us. we cannot neglect praying for our land because we are part of Malaysia, we are Malaysians and this is our land.

Dear God, please bless our land Malaysia.

R.I.C.E

R.I.C.E. was our Christian Fellowship's theme for the year 2006/2007.
it was the acronyms for Remaining In Christ Everyday.

and it was taken from John 15:5

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

John 15:5

and as the year passed, i realized that remaining in Christ for me was not as senang as i though it would be. i struggled in my walk with God. my quiet times became irregular at times, i felt spiritually dry, i seemed lost and i had become caught up in so many other things.

and i wondered why.

it came to me, that my priorities in life were messed up bad. i was too busy, too caught up in other things, that i neglected my walk with God. and when i decided to spend time with Him, i was probably too tired that i put Him off till the next day.

i felt really horrible about the way i was treating God. imagine there was someone you loved so so much and you wanted to spend time with that person, you wanted to talk and listen to that person. and you've waited for that person the whole day to spend some time together. but that person just puts you off by saying "hey, i don't think i want to spend time with you because i have to do this and that." or "i don't want to spend time with you now because i'm tired."

well, i felt like i was treating God in that way. always giving Him a thousand and one excuses.

my life at times was nothing close to a life of one who remains in Christ everyday. and i felt terrible. i felt so hypocritical. so fake.

but i really thank God for always being faithful and graceful to me. even though i am such a horrible person to love. i am truly unworthy of His grace and love. so undeserving. but He still loves me.

and as i look back through the years, i am ashamed of how i've turned away and neglected God so many times. and at the same time i am amazed and grateful for how He still loves me and is there or me.

Dear God,
thank You so so much for Your grace and Your love.
thank You for forgiving and still embracing me when i needed You.
please forgive me for the many times i have neglected You and disobeyed You.
i'm sorry for all that.
help me to remain in You everyday.
to walk according to Your Word and to live my life for You.
help me to spend time with you.

i love you.

Rice - something that is part of our daily diets. it helps us to grow and provides us the energy we need to go through our daily activities. Just like the normal rice we eat, R.I.C.E. (Remaining In Christ Everyday) is essential for us to grow spiritually in our faith. R.I.C.E. also gives us strength from God to go through each day. Keep relying on God's strength and grace everyday. :)

waiyan

this was what i had written about the meaning of R.I.C.E to me when we first came up with the theme and i am reminded now, that God MUST be first priority in my life. and for me to grow and to be strengthened by Him i must remain in Christ and need to spend time with Him.

remain in Christ everyday! :)

Jesus loves and cares for you!