steps

today, as i sat on the steps.

i thought to myself,what am i doing?

where am i going?

am i right where God wants me to be.

or am i running by my own agenda?

is my life right before God?

or am i measuring it on my own scale?

everything's been overwhelming lately.

(heh, every time you don't know how to describe feelings and situations, categorize them under 'overwhelming'. general yet it says alot.)

yeah, life's been overwhelming.

but in the midst of it all, i question, how is my life being used by God?

Jesus was feeding the hungry, teaching the people, healing and doing miracles, driving out evil spirits. He was standing up for truth and going against the pharisees and teachers of the law. He was doing what the Father had in His heart.

so, i question. what am i doing?

am i standing up for truth, am i loving the needy, am i doing what he wants me to do?

or am i just living my days as they go by? turning my back to the people in need. judging others. keeping quiet to certain things that are not right, all in the name of tolerance, repect and the freedom of speech. letting injustice go on in front of me.

how can i? how can i break my Father's heart this way?

which steps am i walking in? whose steps am i following?

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.'

Psalm 139:23-24

seach me, O Lord.