consistency

life has not been consistent. nopes. it fluctuates. it depends on the activities and on the things i have to do. sometimes i'm super duper free and chilled, other times you see me running about with lack of sleep written all over my face.

sleeping time is not consistent, eating times are not consistent, social life also not consistent.

sad to say, my walk with God has not been very consistent either in the midst of my busy mess. :(

looking back at my 7 months break before entering uni and also at my journal, i realized how much more time i had spent with God and on journaling things that were important. and looking back, i'm glad i journaled because on hindsight i've seen God's faithfulness and His consistency in my life.

in the past few months, my journal's been pretty inconsistent too :( there's been a lot of things missed out. lots of struggles, lots of pains, lots of joys, lots of praise, a lot of things – unwritten.

at the end of 2010, the words that God had spoken over and over to me was to be courageous and committed to the things He calls me to, to finish up what He gives to me and not to get distracted halfway.

stepped into 2011, and *whoosh* after a few weeks i was barely able to keep my head above the water. i let a lot of things distract me.

so, as of now, i’m trying to get back my consistency and momentum in this journey. and part of that is journaling and reading back, so that i will remember the things God has spoken to me.

i know it is true, that if i don’t learn to be consistent in my personal walk with God from now, when i start working or dating or doing something that takes a lot of time…sure habis. :\

God, thank You for Your faithfulness and consistency in my life. Thank You for Your amazing and unchanging love that still reaches out to me even when I’ve been so unfaithful and inconsistent in the things You’ve given to me. I’m so sorry I’ve let You down so many times and I’m so sorry for all the broken promises I’ve made. God, thank You for Your grace and mercy and Your second, third, fourth chances You’ve given me. And at the end of the day, I pray I will be like the good and faithful servant in the Parable of the Talents who invested and put to work the talents You’ve given to me. Teach me and guide me, Lord.

and should everything in my life become inconsistent and crazy, i pray that there would still be the one constant consistency in my life – God.