anguish

Please just take some time to watch this video.

Anguish means extreme pain and distress.
The emotion so stirred that it becomes painful.

Yew Meng shared this video in church with us today during our 9AM prayer. Watching it the second time at the end of the church service really broke my heart and left me in tears. There is so much truth in that video. I remembered the times when I knew and felt God's anguish for the church, for His people, for Malaysia. Somehow, along the way I let go of it pursuing my own happiness, my own agendas. Along the way, I grew comfortable. Anguish was replaced by complacency.

I am so sorry, God.

I am not what I was, I am not where I am supposed to be. 

God, I don't have Your heart or Your burden.

God, I'm coming back to you.

Break my heart for what breaks yours.

O God, anguish.

Many times, it's the truth that we need to hear. The truth may be painful but it is what also breaks us and convicts us. And though it may hurt, the truth is far better than the lies and denials that destroy us bit by bit without us realizing it. God, cause me to listen to Your truths and to walk and live in truth.